(Closed) DRAMA- FI’s GM offended me am I being too sensitive? I don’t think so! ggrrr

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1482 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

It sounds like Henry is having a hard time with his own unemployment and his own unacceptance by his GF’s family.  Meanwhile, FI has you to help support him as his partner.  In my experience, people often try to point out what they see as inadequacies in other people to make themselves feel better. 🙁

I’m sorry that FI’s GM is such a jerk.  At least FI apologized and sees it from your side now.  Give him the opportunity to talk to Henry and to make it up to you going forth. 

And for the record, I think you handled it perfectly.  It sounds like you said everything that you could while still remaining calm and classy, which is really all you can do when someone starts ranting and raving in your face like a crazy person.

Post # 4
Member
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Girl, I hear you. While it’s not the exact same situation I do NOT like FI’s best man. He is one of those guys that’s just a pr*ck – that’s his thing and his friends just accept it and laugh it off. Well guess what – I’m NOT your friend, guy, so you better act right around me or don’t be surprised that I’m not joining your fan club.

The fact that your GM was drunk when he went off on this stuff makes it slightly less offensive but he was still a total ass. I just ignore FI’s best man completely unless I have to have him around so I guess you’re better than me because you actually want to talk it out with this guy. I’m content to just not like FI’s best man because I really just don’t care.

Post # 8
Member
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Considering Henry’s state and the situation at hand, you handled yourself really well. What would going off on him have accomplished? It takes a great deal of strength to do what you did so kudos to you for that. You do have a right to be angry and it’s good that your FI will be talking to him now that he’s cooled down (the right thing to do as well, in my opinion).

Post # 9
Member
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

The thing that’s similar (or at least seems so) with your situation and my situation is that all the attitude and B.S. I get from the best man stems from his own insecurities and immaturity, and that sounds like the deal with your GM. There’s really no way to deal with someone who is just going to lash out at others instead of dealing with their own issues so I choose to ignore him. This is a guy that thinks I “stole” FI from him – ummmm, sorry bro, but you guys are in your thirties. Get a life. I’m sorry you are a misogynist because you’ve been in a serious of failed relationships and have no female friends to tell you how wack you are, but like don’t insert your stupidity into my relationship because you’re bitter that all your BFFs are either married or getting married. Deal with your own life and your own problems because you have a lot of them.

Post # 10
Member
1426 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I agree with the pp, this isn’t about you or even you and your FI. This guy has problems in his own life that he can’t deal with and he’s taking it out on you. He either is upset about his own relationships, his own unemployment, or has some really messed up ideas about what it means to be a man and is having anxiety over that. Of course he was totally out of line and behaved terribly, but I don’t know that you or your FI could do anything to fix that other than to tell him that he needs to keep his opinions to himself.  It is never appropriate to call someone out like that in public, no matter what the circumstance.

Post # 11
Member
1897 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

He sounds like a drunk tool!

Post # 12
Member
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Whoa, total projection on Henry’s part.  All the things he was spewing is stuff he’s experiencing in his world.  This would of happened to anyone that night, it just sucks that it had to be you.  The alcohol was just a catalyst.  But its obvious he’s not in a ‘good place’.  Your FI should not avoid talking to him one-on-one.  But he’s apologized for his end.  I’d let it all go, there’s nothing left to do on your end. 

Post # 14
Member
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

OH snap I just read the part about the private strippers. Glad to hear your FI is handling that one! I’m sure good ol “Henry” just thinks that’s what “men” do. What a tool, man. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. I have serious empathy.

Post # 16
Member
348 posts
Helper bee

“Henry” obviously has his own issues.  But I want to call BS on the “it’s not about you, it’s just about girls in general” line of reasoning.  Because, hello!  You’re a girl!  He may not be talking about you specifically, but he’s still talking about a class of people that includes you.  And I think it’s totally reasonably to expect that your FI stand up for you in that case.  Although he’s probably right not to start a confrontation when his friend is drunk, he also shouldn’t be giving his friends the impression that it’s ok to talk disparagingly about women around him.

The topic ‘DRAMA- FI’s GM offended me am I being too sensitive? I don’t think so! ggrrr’ is closed to new replies.

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