(Closed) drama with an ex.

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
250 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Oh my goodness! I’m so sorry you’re going through this drama. 🙁

How did your FI handle this unwelcome news from the ex? Did he tell him to back off then and there?

I don’t know the specifics, but I wouldn’t contact the ex at all if you can. If you’re forced to see him for any reason (school, work, mutual friends), I would tell him to lay off proactively. I’m hoping that your FI just ran into him randomly and that’s not the case though. Of course, if he starts bugging you or trying to get in touch, I would tell him to back the hell off, completely.

Post # 4
Member
94 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I just went through this but with the EX talking to me. If he had spoken to BF I would have been livid.

I would just ignore him if he’s come back to annoy you and FI because he realized he has no chance now that you’re engaged and starting a new life. Although if he did push it I would say something.

Like Jean, I hope he didn’t go tracking down FI to tell him that.

Post # 5
Member
2054 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Ex still sends me text messages asking me how I am and saying that he misses me. Teddy knows that the ex and I are DONE permanently and it doesnt bother him. EX is in another state so that is prob easier…how did this occur? Was it a random bump in?

Post # 7
Member
2054 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Hmmm…that is tough since you are both in the same social circles. I think it would be wise to ignore the EX…although it is hard…because I kind of just would want to go slap him around a bit haha. If you really dont want to run into him again…I would consider not going to social events where he may be there…although I dont really like the idea of not going to see your friends because he may or may not be there…

Post # 8
Member
1510 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Ok, I don’t want you to take this the wrong way… but why are you even still talking to your ex?  I’m going to be honest.  You know if someone still have feelings for you.  When I say “you” I mean any one of us.  We know.  It’s that women’s intution thing.  Why are you even still talking to him if you had any inkling that he wasn’t over you. 

 

You didn’t really go into the background other than that they ran into each other, so I’m going under the impression that you guys talk on a regular basis.  If this isn’t the case, then that is just really really bizarre and hopefully your FI can keep a cool head about this and just move forward. 

 

Post # 9
Member
7976 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Ug. This sounds like something my crazy ex would do, thus I feel for you. Since they ran into each other by happenstance, fortunately, it hopefully won’t come to anything. You say it was at a party… was your ex by any chance drinking at the time? Or in other ways un-sober? Because it’s possible it was an empty boast/threat due to inebriation.

How did your FI respond at the time? If he’s already been direct with your ex, I’d say leave well enough alone. If not… well, you might use that grapevine to your advantage – using the shortest possible link of people (maybe one good, mutual friend?) ask someone you trust to firmly tell him to back off and that you’re not interested. Stress to said friend that it shouldn’t be a matter of you being upset by what he said, or in any other way emotionally affected.

I know it sounds jr high, but it’s a better alternative (in my mind) than you contacting the guy, or your FI slugging him out.

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