- 7 years ago
- Wedding: June 2013
So my parents aren’t excited about the wedding. At all. They live a couple of hours away, I talk to them on the phone at least once a week, they’re pretty screwed up (Asperger’s, hoarding, OCD, PTSD), and my childhood was pretty awful, so we don’t have what I’d call a great relationship. We pretend, sometimes, because we’re just too freaking WASPy. But we all know our family is messed up. Mom’s the only one in real denial–especially about my severely screwed up sister, who was my Maid/Matron of Honor but has stepped down (twice) and now isn’t planning on coming, as far as I know.
I’m visiting them this weekend for the first time in three years. They’ve pulled crap before where they’ll drive through my town on their way to a vacation or the visit other friends and not come see me, even when I tell them I’ll make time when it’s convenient for them. That’s awesome. But with the wedding, things have become basically unbearable. My sister throws hissy fits regularly, and my mother has started taking her side. My father and mother both keep telling me that we should elope, because a wedding is just an expensive waste of time.
I hate that. Even when I was thinking we’d have a small wedding, I still wanted a wedding–I wanted to get together the people we love most in the world and feed them and have fun. Now that we’re having a bigger wedding than I’d figured on (probably about 75-100 people), any time I tell my mother anything, she comments on how much it will surely cost, how tacky it is, and how we should probably just elope. They say it’s because of the money and because no one really cares about the wedding but us. (Note: they aren’t paying for anything, even though they definitely could. I specifically told them we would pay for everything. They haven’t even tried to offer to help out with any aspect of it. My fiance’s parents got the same speech about how we’ll be paying for it, but they’ve offered to help out with a couple of things anyway. Because they are nice.)
So how do I get through the weekend without strangling her? I love my fiance, I love this wedding, I love making stuff for it, I love putting money aside for it, I love my future family-in-law (they’re the best people in the world, I am THRILLED to be joining their family). I love planning. I love looking at pictures of wedding stuff, I just love thinking about it. So a big part of what I want to talk about is the wedding, but I know if I bring it up I’ll regret it.
The question isn’t so much whether I should keep my mouth shut–but how? Seriously, how do I not just cry when they keep harping on me about eloping?