(Closed) Dreading dress searching…

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
506 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@countrylove:  Set up multiple trips (at least two). One to make your mom shut up and the one you want with the whole gang or without her if she throws a fit. 

Post # 4
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Have you tried talking to her, and how her behavior is effecting your happiness during this special time?  If that doesnt work I’d invite everybody, this is YOUR time not hers to throw temper tantrums, if she doesn’t like it then she is free to not go.

Post # 6
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

you will probably have to go more than 1 time anyways, bring her alone the first time.

Post # 7
2207 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

i definitely think you need to go once just as you two. honestly, i have had so much fun doing it just with my mom, and i think she needs to know that you really want to do these things together. maybe pick a bridal salon that you don’t think you’ll find THE dress at and you can just try on different styles to get an idea of what you like. then maybe plan to go to lunch with her and emphasize how much you appreciate having her with you during the planning.  if you think you can bring up the topic, why not explain why your Fiance didn’t talk to her before he proposed?  i emphasized to my Fiance that my mom really would appreciate him talking to her, so he did call her. i’m sure she would’ve been pissed if he hadn’t.

Post # 9
150 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Your mom is clearly being very immature about the situation. Rather than explicitly pointing that out to her (which would only make her more defensive) take the high road and show her what it means to be a mature and caring adult. Hopefully she will take your lead.

Start by doing a day of dress shopping just the two of you and express how important it is to you and how much fun you’ll have. Then you can do more dress shopping with everyone else. I think it will help to diffuse her insecurities by going out of your way to make her feel special and wanted. Yes, it shouldn’t have to be that way since people ought to be making you feel special, but it is what it is 🙂 Good luck!

Post # 10
3420 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I agree with the first PP. Have the first time be just you and her. do not commit to anything but take her opinions seriously. Then go with the big group to make your final decission

Post # 11
4687 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

Wow, your mom needs to grow up. She clearly feels like she’s losing you as a daughter –  it’s more than just your fiancé not getting her approval. She needs to accept her little girl is a grown woman and to get over herself! I’ve never heard such ridiculousness.

Invite the other ladies to go with you. You should experience that with whoever you want!!

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