Post # 1
Feeling compelled to put a trigger disclaimer here because my current body image is so poor and I have food issues. Now, onward…
FI and I got engaged last Friday night (!) and I am so excited to be planning our wedding. We havent nailed down a date yet, but are thinking next fall. I therefore made an appointment for me and an appointment for my girls/stepmom to look at dresses at Davids Bridal on November 8th. Since then, I have been plagued with doubt, fear, and self-loathing. I’m terrified that they wont have a dress that will fit me.
Now, I know this is slightly irrational – I’m a size 24/26 and I know DB goes up to at least a 26. I am conciously making an effort to lose weight before the dress appt, and I am not sure I will even walk out with a dress that day. There is a dress I am in LOVE with that is under my budget, so I want to try it on to see if it is “The One”. Even if it is, I am thinking of waiting to order it or buy it to see if I can lose another size before buying it and starting the alterations process. I am intending on losing some MAJOR weight in the next year, but I don’t want to buy something too small and have to squeeze and pray to get into it.
Anyone else have this insecurity? I am hoping I calm down a bit, but am worried and ashamed and I find myself not looking forward to something that should be exciting.
Post # 2
hike_katahdin87: I felt this way when it came time for me to try on dresses. (I’ve been married for a while.) Instead of being excited about it, I really dreaded it. I didn’t even want to go at all, but my mom really wanted us to have the whole dress trying on experience together.
Even though I dreaded it and was terrified about it, it was not a bad experience at all. There were plenty of dresses that fit, although I didn’t like any of the ones I tried on. I ended up having my dress custom made because I couldn’t find everything I wanted in an off the rack dress.
I am certain your experience will be a good one. Just remember that you are beautiful! Even if you don’t think you are, your FI does, and your Sweetie can’t possibly be wrong about something that important, right? ^.~ And you will be surrounded by people you love and who love you, too.
Congratulations on your engagement!
Post # 3
hike_katahdin87: Hey! I totally understand where you are coming from. In fact, I made a similar post not to long ago about how I was terrified to dress shop.
It all turned out fine! I also have some serious body image issues but you know what? It was okay. I was oddly okay with it. And I was TERRIFIED. I didn’t sleep.
It’s weird because you kind of feel like you’re going to look miserable in anything if it even fits but it turns out okay. One dress was WAY too small but the consultant was amazing and PINNED it to my body so I could see! Another consultant managed to work me into another small dress and I ended up buying it! Trust your judgment and your consultant. If you feel uncomfortable in anything get out of it and move on to something else!
Be brave and take charge. You are beautiful and I hope to see you post again soon that you’ve found a beautiful gown that is just SO you!
I know it is so terrifying, but it’s going to be okay!
Also, if you’re having food issues, PLEASE talk to someone about how you’re feeling. You are a worth it! Do NOT let anyone ever belittle you into feeling that your self worth is synonymous with the size of your jeans.
Post # 4
hike_katahdin87: I think everyone has body image issues when it comes to this, which companies prey on like crazy. I find it horrifying that bridal shows allow plastic surgeons to have vendor slots. I went to one with a friend who was getting married last year and three separate people tried to hand me information on liposuction and breast augmentation. I personally have no interest in losing weight for my wedding, but that’s a decision no one can make but the person whose body it is.
Please keep in mind that even though you’re currently uncomfortable with your size, no matter where you go for a dress, you are a paying customer and you deserve to be treated with respect. You have every right to be treated as kindly as they would treat anyone who may weigh less than you. Their size does not make then any more important than you. If your consultant treats you poorly because of your size (refusing to put you in certain dresses, making negative comments, things like that), please tell the management and request a different consultant, even if you have to go back another day. If it’s management doing it, go above their heads. When my best friend got married, we had such a bad experience at a certain dress shop out by where she used to live that I’m hesitant to go to that chain for my own wedding, now that I’m engaged. She actually called their corporate number and complained and they gave her a pretty significant credit off of her bill because they were so embarrassed at how we were treated.
I know how hard it is to change those thoughts. It took me a very long time to stop thinking of myself the way I used to. I’m sure you’re a beautiful person, and your fiance clearly loves you “as is”. Just don’t buy the dress smaller. You may lose the weight and then put it back on, or you may not lose it at all. A lot of people gain weight when they’re stressed out and wedding planning can be very stressful.
I hope you find your dress 🙂 David’s has some nice dresses in plus sizes. You may want to consider a corset back instead of a zipper, since those have some leeway.
Post # 5
If you’re worried, call ahead and make sure that they have sizes that you can try on. I’ve heard David’s is pretty good at having plus-size dresses available to try on, but mileage may vary.
If you go to other boutiques? Do the same thing. If they don’t have plus sizes- go to a different one.
Post # 6
While a lot of brides may see DB as being the walmart of bridal salons, they were great when I went in. I was dreading it, I figured they would have maybe 3 dresses my size and I would hate them all. Instead they had 4 full racks of dresses for me to try on that were walk-out-the-door worthy. I found the one dress there and the sales lady was awesome. Give it a shot, you will find the dress eventually!
Post # 7
You are all so wonderful! I was literally in tears last night as FI and I were driving to dinner because I had booked the appointment and was feeling really nervous. Honestly, the only reason I’m shopping David’s rather than a smaller/possibly local place is because of the price of the dress…we are on a tight budget, and DB will allow me to have the look I want on my budget. I might call to see if they have THE dress I am intent on in a 24, 26, and 28, and then I will try the others in whatever size they have.
Im arguably more excited to see how my girls look…I am having my MOH and 2 bridesmaids, and I have picked a few styles, all in our main color. I know they are going to look so beautiful!
I might take some pics and post them here if I “say yes to the dress”, and I may ask if they can put a corset back in instead of a zipper…mostly because FI loves the corseted look 🙂
Post # 8
hike_katahdin87: you’re doing better than me! I got engaged 8/1. We’ve booked a venue, photographer, DJ, officiant, floral, caterer, have the bridal party confirmed, talked to hotels about having a block of rooms, we know what the guys are wearing (exact color of tie/vest is not determined), I’m giving the bridesmaids a color (blush) and designer and they get to pick the style of dress they wear, picked out favors, started discussing honeymoon…. But I’ve put off the dress. I’m about a size 10, but I’m short and used to be a 4.. a little weight goes a long way for me. I’m mad at myself for gaining this weight and after we got engaged everyone always wants to celebrate and its hard to discipline yourself at first. So I feel like I should be so much smaller than I am and it’s really frustrating. Diet and exercise are back on track now though!
However… I went to a bridal show this past weekend and actually booked an appointment for 11/1. I am nervous as hell! But the great thing was that very night (I think), there was a thread on here showing actual brides in their dress and comparing it to the model picture. Seeing real brides with real curves look better than all the models, regardless of the bride’s size, was a huge relief. I don’t know too much about navigating this site or I would try to find it for you.
But the most important thing to remember, is that your fiance still loves you as you are. You got the ring as you are. He loves you and he’s going to be blown away when he sees you on your wedding day no matter what size you are!
Congrats on the engagement!
Post # 9
hike_katahdin87: I felt the same way when I went to try on dresses this past January – I was a street size 28. So my choices were limited as many places went up to a 24 or a 26. I did go to Davids Bridal and they had about 10 dresses that I was able to try on. They were the biggest sizes they had but all dresses fit differently (some zipped all the way up). I didnt try on all 10 as 2 were dresses my friends wore at their weddings and 3 others were dresses I knew I didn’t want (dresses with pickups and satin dresses) There were two that everyone liked but I didn’t. They just weren’t what I was looking for. I left a littlw upset but then I went to a local bridal suite that I happened to find by chance and found my dress there. They went up to size 28. So I had a little more wiggle room.
Every time I went to try on a dress I had that fear of omg what if I can’t get it on and I have nothing to show everyone that came with me. There was 1 that wouldn’t go on and I just laughed it off and said it was obviously not the one. Women our size might not be able to try on hundreds of dresses but you WILL find the right one for you and you will love it.
Post # 10
- Wedding: February 2015 - Chapel on Base
I felt the very same way. When I first tried on dresses I stopped at a plus size specialty shop unexpectedly. I was just leaving the hospital from my sister’s surgery and saw the place so we stopped. I tried on a 32 and it didn’t even close on me. I have since had weight loss surgery and looking at another dress to buy. The dress I currently own I bought at David’s in June at their $99 sale but it won’t fit in April since our wedding was originally supposed to be Nov 1st. I still have the same feelings from before and am dreading trying on dresses again. I am sure you will be beautiful in whatever dress you choose.