Post # 1
Hi lovely Bees!
My fiance and I just discovered a venue that we both fell in love with–it’s absolutely PERFECT for us. The only problem is that it’s on the west coast, so that means that most of our family and friends would have to fly there. We’re worried that we’ll have less than half of our guest list show up–anyone know what we should expect rejection wise? Also, can we do anything incentive-wise to convince our guests to come? Thanks for all your help Bees!
Post # 3
I’m not sure how many people will show up but depending on where in CA some people might be more inclined to go if they can also make it a vacation of sorts, like close to LA or Disneyland or what not. I will say we are from CA and have family on the east coast and out of the 7 east coast people invited, 1 came.
Post # 4
Which is your priority-having the people who love you at your wedding? Or , having the perfect venue?
Post # 5
Decide if you will be happy if only half or 3/4’s of your guest list made it.
I know a lot of people will say “if they love you and wanted to be there, they will make a plan,” or “the people who really care about you will be there” but I think that’s hogwash. Some people literally just do not have the leave or money available to do make an across country trip for a wedding.
Post # 6
That could really depend on the financial situation of your guests. If they’re all college students or entry level employees–expect half to show up because they probably don’t have a lot of disposable travel money. However, if your guests are older, more financially stable and/or more established professionally, you’ll probably get a larger percentage of RSVPs as people can afford the trip. You might be surprised–people might want the excuse for a vacation (my fiance and I just took a trip to New Zealand for my cousin’s wedding because we got to couple a family wedding with an amazing international vacation).
Ultimately, this is YOUR wedding. You are the one who lives with the photos and memories of that day. I think your guests would want you to have the wedding of your dreams. People who can make it, will…especially if you give them ample notice (that’s probably the best way to ensure a larger guest list…give them plenty of time to save up and search for cheap airfare). Those who can’t come might not have come even if you had the wedding locally. Remember, no matter what you do, some people won’t be able to make it for scheduling reasons.
That said, if you really want to help them be able to come, keep an eye on airfare sales and/or hotel deals for them. Kayak.com and Farecompare.com are great resources for airfare sales.
Oh–and tell you guests to shop for flights Tues-Thurs. That’s when airlines run airfare sales. Tell them NEVER to buy airfare on the weekends (and I mean when to buy, not when to fly)…airlines raise prices on tickets that are purchased between fri-sun. Hope that helps!
Post # 7
@syledwithakiss: Out of curiousity…what’s the dream venue? If it’s anywhere near where I live, I’m happy to give you a heads up if we meet with any amazing vendors. I can’t imagine how tough it would be to plan a wedding from a distance.
Post # 8
Thanks SO much for your insight girls!
@redhead46, @julies1949,@ ms_protea: These are the same exact thoughts that are crossing our minds! We were thinking about making a wedding weekend out of it?
@CelticBeachBride: That’s true…some people may not be able to make it regardless! I think that the advice about keeping an eye out for airfare/hotels/lodging for them is a great idea! And thanks for the idea about when to buy tickets! I never knew that 🙂 Our dream venue is Holman Ranch in Carmel Valley, CA!
Post # 9
@syledwithakiss: Wow! That venue is gorgeous! I can see why you love it. I’m in SoCal, so I don’t know any vendors in that area–but I’ve been to Monterey and Carmel many times and it’s a BEAUTIFUL place. Your guests would have an amazing time.
You might also suggest they look for rental cars on Priceline.com. It’s over 100 miles to Carmel Valley from the nearest major airport (SFO or OAK)…so people will have to rent cars. There is a train, but it stops in Salinas, CA–so they’d still need transport from Salinas to Carmel Valley.
Post # 10
We are having our wedding in California, and everyone that is coming is flying there. We have had a 65% acceptance rate… invited 170 and have 110 coming. We were thrilled that so many people were willing to get on a plane to celebrate with us (a lot coming from the East Coast)
Post # 11
@CelticBeachBride: Thanks!! I didn’t even think about how far it was from the nearest airport!! That could also be a problem…not sure if people would be willing to drive 100+ miles to get there! 🙁
@canadianmaybride: That is SO awesome! I hope that my acceptance rate is as high as yours! You have awesome friends/family!
Post # 12
A place is just a place, but your friends and family represent your relationships, which ideally would be cherished and nurtured.
I would think that you’d want to have a wedding close to where your family & friends are, and then honeymoon in the Carmel area.
It doesn’t seem that the venue is all that “perfect” if it will cause the people close to you to have any kind of financial stress just to try to close to you on your special day.
There are awesome venues where you live! I’ve been to the Carmel Valley venue you’re talking about and it’s beautiful but not so much more so than a gazillion other places . . .
And as another poster said, it’s going to be very expensive for them to get there – they will either need to fly into tiny Monterey airport (very pricey!!) or drive a long way from San Jose or San Francisco. Plus, lodging in the Carmel area is very expensive – there are some cheaper places in Monterey or Pacific Grove, but those will be more than 30 – 45 minutes from the venue, depending on traffic.