Dress and Family Dilemma

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
259 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Let your Grandma make the dress.  She will love you for it and it will ultimately mean more to you because she made it..it will be something nice to pass down through the generations.

Post # 4
858 posts
Busy bee

I would call your grandma and discuss your dilemna with her. Tell her that you have been stressed out trying to find a fabric and it has been very overwhelming. See what you both com eup with. Maybe in conversation discuss the dress you found.


Your Grandma is nto going to be upset with you, but only happy that you are happy. Not many people get to have their Grandma create a dress for them which would be so cool. But girl, dont stress. Do wha tyou have to, and in the end you will look beautiful and be married 🙂

Post # 5
1926 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@JBP:  Would it be too out of budget to get both dresses? You could wear your grandma’s for the ceremony and then have a reception dress? That way if it DOESN’T get made in time you still have the back up.

Post # 6
42182 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@JBP:  Ask the saleslady what fabrics are used in the dress and get those for the dress your Grandma is going to make.

Normally, the fabrics that are suitable for each part of the garment are listed  on the envelope.


Post # 7
1202 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Go to the store, pick out a chiffon, mail it to her.  Today.  

Are you not having a white dress? Are you hesitating on shades of ivory?  There’s a TED talk that says too much choice is overwhelming.  When customers were given too many choices, it was paralyzing, and they just walked away.  Customers felt better having fewer choices.  Just bring some friends and ask them to pick their favourites.  I’m sure your grandmother will make a beautiful dress with whichever fabric you pick.  

Post # 8
2302 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

@JBP:  i would buckle down, pick a fabric and let her make the dress.

if you choose the salon gown – could she make you a short going away or dancing dress?

Post # 9
5162 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

I would go forward with the dress made by your grandma.  It will be 100x more special than a store bought dress.

Regarding the fabric, your mantra should be “the perfect is the enemy of the good.”  Just choose something that will work and move on.  It’s your grandma’s work that will bring it all together.

Post # 10
2051 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Let your grandma make your dress. 

Post # 11
3677 posts
Sugar bee

Can you get a pic of the dress/send one to your grandma and use that to help you choose the fabric?

(BTW, FWIW the “discount” the saleslady is offering you if you buy in the next few weeks sounds like a pressure tactic to me . . . )

Post # 13
1666 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

@JBP:  Try on more time to find a fabric. Bring someone you know well and whose opinion on something like this you would trust 100%. It’s too bad your Grandma can’t be there to help with the selection, but maybe someone else you know would be able to help narrow down the selection.

If that doesn’t work, then do a quick browse on wedding websites and see what types of dresses you like are made with which fabrics. That will help narrow down the type of fabric a bit. Or you can always look up the dress you really liked and see what fabrics were used.

Additionally, you could always call your Grandma and talk with her about how much trouble you are having with the selection. See what she says and how she reacts. I know you said she can have unique taste, but maybe you could see about giving her a set of criteria (ie. white satin, ivory lace, etc.) and allow her to make the selections herself. You won’t have to worry about shipping that way either.

Take some breaths. Everything is going to be ok and it will work out one way or another.

Post # 14
1666 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

@JBP:  And just a sidenote: My mom had me try on her wedding dress last year after I got engaged. Originally, the plan was for me to bring it to a seamstress to have it altered. Mom was 100% ok with that plan and was excited about me wearing her dress.

Fast forward to this month. I would up telling her that I had been doing a lot of thinking and was leaning towards buying my own gown. I had a few reasons, but mainly because of the amount of work that would be involved in altering it and the fact that I just felt like I wanted a dress of my own (hand-me-downs were a big thing in my family).

Mom was completely cool with it and said she just wanted me to be happy. Your Grandma may be much more understanding than you expect. See what she says and what options there are and then go from there.

Post # 15
165 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I hope I am not to late on this to jump in but please let your Grandmother make your dress! I think she could totally make your dress in three months time! If she doesn’t have a full time job or doesn’t have multiple people to take care of she should be able to get it done. I debating  having my wedding dress hand made by a local seamstress and she guessed it would take 3 weeks tops so I think your Grandma has plenty of time. 

My dad’s mother made my Mom’s wedding dress and made my baptism and communion dress. She passed away in a car accident so she obviously did not make my wedding dress. I have a beautiful store bought wedding dress but it is not nearly as treasured as my grandmother’s dresses. I will keep her dresses forever and probably resell my store bought wedding dress. It’s not like my dress isn’t special it is just not as special as my grandmothers. Point I am trying to make is you are very blessed to have a talented family member willing to make something so sentimental for you.

Just buckle down and bring a friend with you to go shoping for fabric. That’s what friends are for! That way you won’t feel so lost with all your fabric choices.

Good luck!!

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