- 3 years ago
I was very determined to have my Grandmother make my wedding dress. I asked her before I got engaged if she would make it, and she got very emotional and confided this had always been a secret desire of hers. I am a very sentimental type of person so the thought having a dress hand created for me by a woman I love so much just is so special to me.
Though she has eccentric tastes in fabrics and designs, she is an excellent seamstress. As long as I provided the fabric, pattern, and gave her plenty of time, it would be perfect.
The problem has been ME. I have not been able to successfully pick out fabric. I am not a designer or a seamstress, and though I know what a good quality chiffon feels like…I am overwhelmed with the sheer color variety of the needed fabrics. I have been to the store several times over the last five or six months to purchase the fabric, but I just have been completely incapable of this! My grandmother lives several states away and is unable to come to me to help me with this decision. I cannot go to her because of the terrible winter weather, work, and other commitments. It’s looking like that I will not be able to pick out fabric until the middle of March, and the wedding is in July. I am very stressed that it will not be completed in time.
In the meantime, my friend & bridesmaid made an appointment for me at a boutique to try on a gown, because she too is concerned that the dress will not be made in enough time. Of course, I found a dress that looks like it was made for me. It’s very similar to the pattern that I picked out for my Grandmother to make. The sales lady is offering me a nice discount if I buy the gown within the next few weeks.
Everyone keeps telling me to do what I want, if I love it buy it, Grandma will get over it, etc. But I am feeling extremely guilty. No one but me saw the joy on her face when I asked her to make the dress. No one drove all over town looking for patterns with her, no one but me receives the emails detailing all of the excitement she has. I KNOW it will crush her.
Even worse, my mother, who knows my Grandma best, is not exactly being supportive. She agrees that yes, the decision is mine and I should do what I need to do, but she warned that this decision will in fact cause great emotional distress to my Grandmother. I am the type of person that would rather slit my wrist than to offend another loved one, so I am incredibly stressed over the conversation that must happen.
Any advice? I had thought to ask her to make me another dress (for the rehearsal dinner or plane ride) but again my mother advised against this, saying it was a “poor consolation.”