Post # 1
So about a month ago I found my dress and I just love it! I sent a picture to my in-laws and they all loved it to. When I saw them today they asked me how I was going to cover my shoulders for the ceremony. We’re observant Jews, they a bit more than I am, and so covering our shoulders for the ceremony is definitely important to all of us. The problem is that I thought my off-the-shoulder gown covered my shoulders enough! I’m scared that if I put a shrug, or layer or tulle, or whatever on it the estetic of the dress will be ruined! I want it to look as beautiful during my ceremony as it will for the rest of my pictures. My in-laws are great! I’m close with them, and I don’t think they’re being rude. I think they just assumed I didn’t think the dress counted as covered shoulders, the same way I assumed they thought it did. My parents are also observant, and they both thought the dress was fine as is. What do I do!?!?
PS the dress is Romona Keveza L211. I haven’t had it altered yet, so I can alter it to give me maximum coverage, but that probably won’t be enough.
Post # 3
@turningpersian: I personally would leave it as is. It’s your dress and your wedding day, and it’s my belief that God isn’t offended by some bare shoulders (and I wouldn’t even consider yours bare). It’s a little shoulder area, not a nip hanging out. And I agree that adding something might ruin the appearance of the dress
Post # 4
Could you arrange your veil in a way that it covers your shoulders for the ceremony?
Post # 5
@turningpersian: Just have your veil cover your shoulders. Dont alter the dress for bigger straps or add something to it. You took it into consideration to now have a strapless dress (for example).
Post # 6
It’s so pretty as it is, it would be a shame to alter it in a way that you don’t want. You dress yourself every day, so I think you should be able to decide how to dress yourself on your wedding day without people taking offense! I do actually think a small ostrich feather bolero could look quite pretty with it, but maybe not so suitable for a summer wedding.
Post # 7
What a beautiful dress!
I have no idea if this will make any sense: Could you use a piece of fabric from your alterations and snap it under your dress around back and into the inside front of your dress — just past your shoulders and removable? I have no idea if people actually do this, but it could look like it’s part of your dress and your arms & neckline would look the same.
I do think you currently would qualify as having bare shoulders. if that’s what you’re trying to avoid.
Post # 8
If you love your dress as is, don’t change it! Someone else’s opinions will never be as important as your own.
Post # 9
Thanks everyone for the insight. Regardless of what you think I should do, do you think my shoulders look covered?
Post # 10
@turningpersian your dress is beautiful and looks perfect on you, I feel that the straps cover your shoulders enough they are a good thickness, I personally do not think you need anything though I really like what Happiness IsInDaises said about bringing your veil onto your shoulders to cover them, I think that would look beautiful with the straps and neckline on your dress 🙂
Post # 11
Well Dear your shoulders look covered to me
I agree allow the veil to give you more coverage but it looks very modest in nature as is
Post # 12
I think your shoulders are totally covered! Adding anything would totally take away the beautiful nature of that dress.
Post # 13
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@turningpersian: If you’re being married in a synagogue, clear it with the rabbi. If the rabbi is cool, then the parents should be fine.
Post # 14
“I think they just assumed I didn’t think the dress counted as covered shoulders, the same way I assumed they thought it did.”
Have you explained this to them?? I think that it may be just as you stated. If so then maybe everyone could agree that technically your shoulders are covered. I think that just having a discussion on a misunderstanding may solve this problem??
I would hate to see you add anything to the shoulder area. The dress is beautiful, and quite modest as it is. I think to widen the straps or wearing a bolero or shrug would take away from how beautiful the dress is.
Post # 15
@discokitty: That’s a really good idea! I was thinking about doing that with lace or tulle or something also. Has anyone ever seen this kind of fix?
Post # 16
Don’t late the dress, but maybe wear a bolero? ( I don’t really know how that would look with your dress, but you could try)