Reception (Second) Dress?
more by baffled111
Portland Brides - Makeup?
dress decision
more in Dress
Advice for buying and finding used pre-owned dress
Wearing veil under the updo??? How does that work with the comb?
more in Boards
Boo-hooing Over Long Distance

Dress Anxiety!!!

posted 2 years ago in Dress
  •  
    1.
    Member
    243 posts
    Helper bee
    baffled111       Walla Walla WA

    Hi all,

    I have serious dress anxiety. When we first got engaged, I fell in love with a picture of the Allure dress below. I tried on about 3 dresses and then ordered the Allure dress without having the opportunity to try it on (no one carried it). It was more expensive than I wanted it to be, but I thought it would be worth it because the cut is so flattering for me and the lace is soft and romantic and a little bit vintagey. 

    Ever since the dress arrived and I was able to try it on, however, I've been having serious doubts and second thoughts. It's a beautiful dress and I think I am going to look beautiful in it (once I get it back from the seamstress). But it is SO MUCH DRESS. It's so wedding dressy, which is not what I wanted and I'm worried I'm not going to feel comfortable in it. 

    I was just cheating on my dress at nordstrom.com and saw the adorable BCBG strapless applique dress and it is SO ME. I think I would be so much more comfortable in this dress and it feels more appropriate for the kind of wedding we're having and etc etc. 

    However, I have already sunk $1500 into the Allure dress and it is being altered and I know it will be beautiful and that my mum would kill me if I tried to change dresses at this point and I just don't know what to do. 

    Help! I wish I had spent more time dress shopping or had looked at lots of dresses before I picked one but...

    Attachments

    1. Dress Anxiety!!! :  wedding dress anxiety second thoughts Img trash7.jpg (324.5 KB, 24 downloads) 1 year old
    2. Dress Anxiety!!! :  wedding dress anxiety second thoughts Img BCBG_dres.jpg (12.8 KB, 65 downloads) 2 years old
    3. Dress Anxiety!!! :  wedding dress anxiety second thoughts Img allure8634f.jpg (35.3 KB, 67 downloads) 2 years old
     
    2.
    Bee Icon
    Bee
    6,310 posts
    Bee Keeper
    trailmix      

    Personally, I LOVE the Allure dress and I think you should stick with that.  I think in 30 years when you look back on your wedding, you'll be happy you chose a classic, elegant silhouette...Not to say that the BCBG dress isn't adorable, bc it is but I think your original dress is much more classic and will stand the test of time...

     
    3.
    Member Icon
    Member
    391 posts
    Helper bee
    alundberg    February 13, 2010  

    Can you afford both? The easy answer is to have the Allure dress as your ceremony dress and the BCBG as your reception dress. :) It's your day and you deserve to have whichever dress is going to make you happy and feel the most beautiful!! Good luck with a tough decision!!!

    Attachments

    1. Dress Anxiety!!! :  wedding dress anxiety second thoughts Img Wish_Box_w:card.jpg (393.5 KB, 23 downloads) 1 year old
    2. Dress Anxiety!!! :  wedding dress anxiety second thoughts Img Wish_Box_decor_aperta.jpg (268.4 KB, 18 downloads) 1 year old
    3. Dress Anxiety!!! :  wedding dress anxiety second thoughts Img Wish_Box_Angolo.jpg (290.8 KB, 19 downloads) 1 year old
    4. Dress Anxiety!!! :  wedding dress anxiety second thoughts Img Wish_Box_MAIN.jpg (330.3 KB, 21 downloads) 1 year old
     
    4.
    Hostess
    8,491 posts
    Bee Keeper
    Mrs. DG    July 18, 2009   Seattle/Tahoe

    I agree with rungurl- The allure will stand the test of time.  The BCBG, while very cute, is also very now.  It's a fun dress, but there is nothing classically beautiful about it.  It would make a fabulous reception dress, but barring that, I say go with your first instict-- the Allure.

    Best of luck, either way you'll look beautiful!

     
    5.
    2,195 posts
    Buzzing bee
    JoesWifey    May 24, 2009   NYC/Wedding in Indiana

    I absolutely love love LOVE the Allure dress! My sister and I were looking at wedding dresses last night and I saw that one and nearly swooned. It's absolutely gorgeous and amazing and I SO would have bought that dress for myself had I seen it before my wedding. You're very lucky!! There will be a lot of opportunties to wear a dress like the 2nd one, but this is your only chance to wear a dress as amazing as that Allure gown! Maybe buy the 2nd one for the reception, and you could always try to sell the Alllure one after the wedding. I'm seriously so jealous!

     
    6.
    Member
    1,038 posts
    Bumble bee
    hhcheung2000       San Diego, CA

    Trust me...all girls have dress anxiety.  I honestly bought another dress and really regretted it because the first dress I initially bought turned out 100 times better than the second dress.  Now I think I'll have to sell the second one.  But it took $1000 to realize that!

     
    7.
    Member
    676 posts
    Busy bee
    mandalee0624    October 2, 2010  

    I loveeeeeee the Allure gown and think you should stick w/ it for the ceremony and pictures, which last forever (unless you're okay w/ all of your wedding photos of you in a non-formal gown). Then, for your reception change into the dress you feel expresses you best! BUT!... either way, do not end up regretting the decision!

    Attachments

    1. Dress Anxiety!!! :  wedding dress anxiety second thoughts Img veil,_bracelet,_flower,_rhinestone_010.jpg (48.6 KB, 24 downloads) 1 year old
    2. Dress Anxiety!!! :  wedding dress anxiety second thoughts Img veil,_bracelet,_flower,_rhinestone_009.jpg (58.1 KB, 22 downloads) 1 year old
    3. Dress Anxiety!!! :  wedding dress anxiety second thoughts Img veil,_bracelet,_flower,_rhinestone_008.jpg (55.3 KB, 23 downloads) 1 year old
    4. Dress Anxiety!!! :  wedding dress anxiety second thoughts Img veil,_bracelet,_flower,_rhinestone_011.jpg (79.4 KB, 23 downloads) 1 year old
     
    8.
    Member Icon
    Member
    172 posts
    Blushing bee
    coralray24    09/26/2009   Tucson, AZ

    Everyone has dress anxiety, but usually the first choice is the best...I think looking back through the photos you would be happier with a more formal dress.  The BCBG dress is cute, but I think the Allure is better.

    Attachments

    1. Dress Anxiety!!! :  wedding dress anxiety second thoughts Img New_Hair_pics_and_New_pics_007.JPG (56.2 KB, 25 downloads) 1 year old
    2. Dress Anxiety!!! :  wedding dress anxiety second thoughts Img New_Hair_pics_and_New_pics_002.JPG (60.1 KB, 25 downloads) 1 year old
    3. Dress Anxiety!!! :  wedding dress anxiety second thoughts Img New_Hair_pics_and_New_pics_005.JPG (67.1 KB, 24 downloads) 1 year old
    4. Dress Anxiety!!! :  wedding dress anxiety second thoughts Img New_Hair_pics_and_New_pics_001.JPG (78.8 KB, 23 downloads) 1 year old
     
    9.
    Bee Icon
    Bee
    6,310 posts
    Bee Keeper
    trailmix      

    Ooh, another option...if you can somehow afford both, you could wear the BCBG one to your rehearsal dinner!

     
    10.
    Member
    243 posts
    Helper bee
    baffled111       Walla Walla WA

    Thanks everyone. I really do love the Allure dress, but it is SOOO dressy. I know it will look beautiful though. Much of my problem is with the train. I think trains are kind of stupid (no offense to those who like them!!) and I wanted to have the seamstress remove it, but it was going to be far too expensive. So it's being bustled which isn't really the line I would like and etc, etc.

    Still, the more I think about it, the more I think I should look for a little reception cocktail dress. I can't imagine spending a whole night dancing and carousing in that giant dress. It just seems, um, over-indulgent to have 2 dresses for a relatively small and informal wedding. 

    Thanks again for the help. :) 

     
    11.
    Member
    136 posts
    Blushing bee
    mismikado    May 29, 2010   Texas

    I think you should definitely consider have 2 dresses and you can always sell the allure one after the wedding.

    Attachments

    1. Dress Anxiety!!! :  wedding dress anxiety second thoughts Img runner.jpg (3182.6 KB, 25 downloads) 1 year old
    2. Dress Anxiety!!! :  wedding dress anxiety second thoughts Img Table_Runner1.jpg (3355.9 KB, 27 downloads) 1 year old
     
    12.
    Member
    656 posts
    Busy bee
    MrsWoohoo    01/02/09   Bay Area, CA

    The allure dress is gorgeous! But if you don't feel comfortable in it, maybe you should talk it out with your mom and see if you could wear the BCBG dress during the recption. It's definitely a dress you could wear again (unlike the Allure). Either way, I'm sure you'll look beautiful.

    Attachments

    1. Dress Anxiety!!! :  wedding dress anxiety second thoughts Img wedding_info_098.JPG (617.5 KB, 35 downloads) 1 year old
     
    13.
    Hostess
    1,667 posts
    Bumble bee
    august15bride    August 15, 2009   St. Petersburg, FL

    I absolutely love that Allure dress. If I had found it before I bought mine, it probably would be my dress! It is gorgeous and so classic. It is completely natural to have second thoughts. Heaven knows I have! :)

     
    14.
    Member
    2,487 posts
    Buzzing bee
    Ms Mini    July 17, 2010   Medicine Hat, AB

    I LOVE the allure dress (it is the one I think I will end up buying) I think it is awesome.

     
    15.
    Member
    967 posts
    Busy bee
    futuredrbraun    May 15, 2010  

    I have to agree with everyone that the Allure dress is amazing!!! I don't think that you would have ANY trouble selling it if you end up changing your mind and going with the cocktail dress. However, if you are having the dress bustled, I really don't think that it is "too much" or really all that dressy at all. It's not big and poofy and there isn't a lot of bling stuff on it so I think that you will be fine.

    Definitely trust your instincts and do what will make YOU happy. If you want the cocktail dress and that is more of your style then go for it!!!

     
    16.
    Member Icon
    Member
    372 posts
    Helper bee
    SoonToBeMrsV    July 3, 2010  

    I agree too... the allure dress is amazing! I hope you decide to wear it at least for your ceremony! It will look beautiful in photos too!

     
    17.
    Member
    218 posts
    Helper bee
    LegallyBlondeBride    July 30, 2010   Chapel Hill, NC & Houston, TX

    I agree with mandalee - use the first one for the ceremony and the second one for the reception.  The allure gown is beautiful (I actually cut it out and glued it into my wedding notebook :] ) and the second one is fun.  Perfect combination.  In 30 years you'll want to be able to look back and see yourself in the first one.  Plus, your mom loves it... and mom's always know best. 

     
    18.
    Member
    1,683 posts
    Bumble bee
    Birdie Love    May 7, 2011   CA

    The Allure dress is beautiful!!

     
    19.
    Member
    1,747 posts
    Bumble bee
    sapphirebride    December 31, 2010   Seattle, WA

    The Allure dress was in my dress folder before I picked out the Maggie Sottero Karena (which is similar in a lot of ways). I think it's classic and beautiful. I think the other dress is fun, but perhaps a little too informal unless you're having a very informal wedding. Perhaps rehearsal dinner dress, if you're doing that?

     
    20.
    Member
    1,860 posts
    Buzzing bee
    Magenta    July 31, 2010   Springfield MA- Wedding in PR

    love the bc dress and that will be my first choice but you already spent money on the allure... a lot of money... unless you can sell the alure for the price u bought it i dont think you should change

     
    21.
    Member
    298 posts
    Helper bee
    weaverm26    May 26, 2012   Philadelphia, PA

    I like both of them but I think you should definitely get the one YOU want! You get married once..... and not to add to the trouble but.... you could always sell the allure dress...even to a once worn bridal shop.. and in the fashion of both dresses.... Have you ever looked at this Alvina Valenta?

    Attachments

    1. Dress Anxiety!!! :  wedding dress anxiety second thoughts Img Alvina-Valenta-11363-thumb.jpg (7.6 KB, 21 downloads) 2 years old
     

    Reply

    You must log in to post.





    Visit our sister sites eHarmony
    Online Dating
    eHarmony Advice
    Dating Advice
    Project Wedding
    Wedding Songs
    JustMommies
    Pregnancy Calendar

    Copyright 2004-2012, Weddingbee.com
     

    Find your vendors on Weddingbee

    Real reviews from brides in your area!

    Favors by Weddingbee

    • Favors by season

    Shop Now ยป

    Find Registry Find Registry Find Registry

    More