Dress Code?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
11712 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Personally, I think telling grown adults how to dress is inappropriate and rude.  I would take great offense to someone trying to tell me what is okay and not okay to wear.  While there is one couple who apparently just doesn’t get appropriate attire, I don’t think it’s beneficial to give examples to grow adults on appropriate wedding attire.  It comes across as condescending.

Can you have a mutual friend talk to this couple under the guise of, “hey what are you planning on wearing to the wedding?” and see if the friend can diffuse the situation before it starts?  Other than that, I think any tactic which includes examples or suggests that your adult guests don’t know how to dress themselves is rude.

Post # 4
Member
1570 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

They are going to where what they want.  If your ceremony is in a house of worship, you can note that on your website with what is apporpriate attire.   If the place of the reception has any rules, you can note them.  If there will be chjildren at the wedding, you can note that.  Good luck.

Post # 5
Member
5518 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2012

@alysee:  I can totally relate to wanting people to dress appropriately to your wedding.  If your trying to single out just the one couple I would just aproach them directly or have a mutual friend who understands bring it up.  Dont bother going through the effort to make an announcemnet about it because it likely will raise eyebrows.

Post # 6
Member
5421 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2014

@alysee:  While dressing inappropriately is a major bug-bear of mine, I think it’s highly inappropriate to tell grown adults how to dress; it comes across as patronising and condescending.

The only time I think it’s OK to mention a dress-code is in cases where the venue requires one (several venues we looked at required that men wore jackets and ties; they would not be allowed entry unless addressed appropriately, so, had we chosen those venues we would have had to state that on our invitations); but even then it should be kept general (for example, ‘Please note: men are required to wear jackets and ties’) and not be specific, or include examples.

Ultimately, this couple are unlikely to pay attention even if you raise it with them. Just ignore it. They’re the ones who will look stupid if they are not dressed appropriately, not you.

Post # 7
Member
127 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

What is the problem with putting a dress code (formal) on the invitation? Rules might be different in the US but over here it happens all the time…

Post # 8
Member
845 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@alysee:  If you’re only worried about one couple then I wouldn’t include it at all. I highly doubt their poor dress will impact your wedding day. I think dress codes on wedding invitations comes across as micro-managing and condescending – 99% of the world knows how to dress for a formal event.

Post # 9
Member
1068 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@alysee:  Another couple who is getting married at our super non-traditional venue said something on the lines of “the bridesmaids will be wearing knee-length cocktail dresses and the groomsmen will be wearing suits and ties.”  I thought it was a great idea–people got a sense of how formal the wedding would be, but they weren’t being told what to wear. 

Post # 10
Member
735 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@alysee:  I stated that is was a semi formal affair on the website(the only reason i did was because SO many people were asking about what they should be wearing), so i think MOST people got it that they should dress nicely but not you know black tie, i still had people show up in jeans and t-shirts and plaid and in overly short dresses. People will wear what they want, but trust me. On your day you’ll notice but you’ll be having too much fun to even care =D 

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