Post # 1
So I have a few dresses I really like but am not able to try them on in my size and don’t want to buy one without trying it on. (but that’s not even the real issue…I am avoiding it already…)
My sister and my best friend live across the country so they aren’t able to see me in any dress unless that particular store allows pictures. (most of the stores around here do not allow pictures until you actually buy the dress)
My mother, since day one of our engagement, has been completely unentheusiastic. I said I was going to go dress shopping and that I wanted her to come and she said “we’ll see, I was thinking I might go hiking that day and if I decide not to go then I will come with you.” I really feel that if she had definite plans she should have suggested another day or something but it really just seems like she does not care.
My future mother in law, who is more entheusiastic then my own mother, says that “dress shopping and all that girly stuff just isn’t me. Why don’t you bring your fiance’s aunt? she loves that kind of thing and she might even pay for the dress.” Aunt by marriage. I don’t want his aunt to go I want her to go. So she is out of the picture.
My friends that are here I am not as close to and know they would give an honest opinion but it is not their opinion that is most important to me. My best friend out here only wants to hang out when her boyfriend is working which means that she “has” to be home by 4 on the day I do not work. The dress shop that I want to go to is 3 hours away… that means if we leave by 8 (they open at 11) get there at 11, dress shop for an hour or so and have a quick lunch, we wont get back until almost 4 and she is afraid that we will not be back in time and therefore does not want to go…
It just feels like I have no one and I do not want to pick out a dress by myself… which makes me not want to pick one out at all… and it makes me really depressed and unexcited about my own wedding…
Post # 3
I am sorry…
I had to go by myself to look for a dress so I know exactly how you feel.
My advice: tell both your mom and fmil how you feel. Let them know how much you would love for them to be there.
Post # 4
I know how you feel, because I wanted the same thing, everyone being there watching you try on the dress so that you can have that Kleinfeld’s moment. And I did have my mom, his mom, my aunt and my best friend there. And you know what? I bought a dress that I HATED because I felt like I had to buy something so that I could have That Experience. I ended up cancelling it two days later, and two months later bought a dress completely by myself.
Definitely tell them how you feel, and how important it is that she be there with you on that day. Maybe suggest to your best friend that she let you know of a night when her Boyfriend or Best Friend is working late or has plans already so that you can go together then? I don’t think that you should have to do that to get your best friend to go dress shopping with you, but if that’s what it takes. Just keep in mind that the dress search fairytale isn’t always what its cracked up to be, and sometimes we’ve got to role with the punches.
Post # 5
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
Take one or two of the girlfriends who would be interested. If you push someone who’s not excited to go with you, you may not get the positive responses you need.
The shop you’re interested in is REALLY far away, which could also be why you’re getting some resistance. Why not go once or twice, narrow down your choices, then ask Mom and Future Mother-In-Law to come with you?
Also- you might be able to snap smartphone photos in the dressing room when the sales rep isn’t looking (at the store where I bought my dress, Maid/Matron of Honor and sales rep were in the dressing area with me, so Maid/Matron of Honor took photos when sales rep went to get accessories, etc.)
Post # 6
Agree with PP–I too picked out my dres by myself, but I felt better doing it. No pressure from anyone to like or dislike the dress, but to each it’s own.
I would explain to your mom how important it is that she come with you. The wedding isn’t until next May, so it may be hard for your mom to feel excited at the moment. You do not have to pick out a dress right now. The styles can and will change and maybe in a few months you might find something you like more. If you can, maybe hold off a month or two. Still talk to your mom and set a date that month or two in advance so you know she won’t have any scheduled for that day. And honestly, if your Future Mother-In-Law isn’t into dress shopping, don’t take her. I could see her not being helpful at all when you are excited about a dress. Just take your mother.
Hope I was of some help :-/
Post # 7
Why don’t you want to go by yourself? Grab a coffee, blast some good tunes, and have a me-time road trip to the store you want to go to!
I really liked dress shopping alone, I went by myself on purpose so I wouldn’t be swayed by other people’s opinions and get confused.
If you want your family’s input, just ask them before you head out what they imagine you in.
I browsed a lot by myself, and when I bought my dress, I was by myself – you don’t need to have people there for that moment, you’re still going to have a chance for the reveal at fittings or on the day, and then it’s almost even more special.
Post # 8
I took my fiance dress-shopping with me. I know that is considered taboo to many— oh noes, the groom can’t see you in the dress before the wedding! But honestly, who cares about a taboo? I sure don’t! I could have taken my sister or one of my friends, but I just didn’t feel comfortable being half-naked in front of them. Like so many women, I’ve got a touch of negative body image, and you can tell me till the cows come home that my friends won’t have anything negative to say, but that doesn’t change things; just not gonna run around in bra and panties in front of my girl-pals!
But my Mister, well, he’s seen me in the raw a million times. It’s nothing he’s not seen before. And while he can’t really give a woman’s perspective on fashion, he knows what looks good on me and what doesn’t. It’s pretty easy to tell from a man’s reaction if something looks fantastic, or just OK, or horrible (and hopefully your fiance will steer you away from anything truly horrible).
If you want to keep the tradition of not letting him see you in the dress before the wedding day, you can get his opinion on several dresses and keep your final choice a secret, just ask him to leave when you go to pay. He’s a guy; all he’s gonna remember is a big white dress anyway, and when you get it tailored and add your makeup and jewelry, he’s going to be wowed anyway.