Post # 1
I am having a bit of a dress dillemma and could really use some help! In order to understand this question, you need some background on my wedding. So…I am getting married in Jerusalem in an intimate religious ceremony with just our immediate families. I am also (at the request of my parents) having a 150 person reception in nyc that will include a quick civil ceremony. I have elderly relatives here who want to see me. get married and who will not make it to Israel. I agreed to this because we do need to get legally married in the US anyway and I love my family very much.
Here’s my dress story. I originally went into dress shopping with the idea that I wanted lace and sleeves. I tried on lots of lace and loved it. However, lace dresses were not in the budget. I listened (stupid mistake!) to the lady at the shop I went to who told me that I would never find lace in my budget. I ended up with a modern, tulle dress that I do really like. It is fun, romantic, feels amazing on etc. My dad bought it for me at the top of his budget, $1200. However, as soon as I thought about it when I got home I felt terrible..because I still picture myself getting married in something modest and lacey.
So…I bought a vintage lace dress off of Etsy. It came yesterday and I LOVE it. I want so badly to wear it for my actual, religious wedding ceremony. It is much more appropriate and what I want.However, I absolutley cannot tell my dad that I no longer am sure about the dress he bought me. It was a ton of money and it was a very special moment when he bought it for me ( it was the first time I ever saw him tear up). Granted, Im sure it was the idea of his daughter as a bride and not some silly dress that made it happen.
My idea to fix this situation is to wear his dress at the nyc reception and civil cereomony. Then to wear my lace dress for the actual religious ceremony and then change back into his dress for dinner and dancing? Does this make any sense? It is really not about money. It is more about the emotional value of the dress. Even though I live with my fiance, I still feel all these old fashioned emotions about leaving my parents and starting a new family. What do you girls think?
This is the original dress. I dont have a pciture of it in back, but here is the models back.
Here are a bunch of shots of my lace dress that I just took.
Post # 3
Forgot to add that neither dress has been altered at all yet. They will fit much better.
Post # 4
I’d wear your original dress for the ceremony and the lace dress to the reception.
Post # 5
I think your idea is great. It should please everybody and most of all, make you happy (and dad).
Post # 6
Could you use the top of the lace dress to make a jacket (similar to the pronovias button back jackets) and wear that over the dress your dad got you?
Post # 7
The lace dress is beautiful!
Post # 8
I think you’ve got the right idea. I think dad should be okay with you wearing the lace dress for the religious ceremony because the lace dress is more “modest”, which may be more appropriate anyhow.
Post # 9
i’d wear the dress your dad got you. It is stunning! Your lace dress is nice…i’d wear that to the reception if you really want to wear it
Post # 10
I think the the dress your dad bought you is really fun for the reception and the lace one is lovely for a religious ceremony! You get the best of both worlds.
Post # 11
Thanks ladies. Your replies really help me!!
Post # 12
The dress your dad got you is beautiful. If you really want/need modesty have you thought about getting a lace bolero/shrug to cover your arms?
Post # 13
@rachel-michelle: I love the lace! Maybe you could wear that in Israel and the other dress in NYC? I agree with the ladies that say the lace is more modest and the other dress is more reception
Post # 14
They’re both really nice. Before you do anything, talk to your dad. It would be awful for him to see you get married in the second one without warning. He might be ok with selling your first dress, but if he wants you to wear it I think you should. He was probably emotional about you getting married, not the dress. How much was lace dress? Could he sell the first one then pay you back for the lace one?
I vote talk to dad, then if he’s on board, wear lace one to religious wedding, dad dress to NYC wedding.
Post # 15
They are both beautiful and I understand wanting to wear both. I would wear the one your dad got you in NYC and the other one in Israel, or whatever makes most sense to you. That way you can have a new dress for both. I love that lace one–good find!
Post # 16
@Tabby1024: I would definitley not do anything without discussing it with him 🙂 Lace dress was only $100. I love Etsy! Wish I knew how well it would work out from the beginning