Post # 1
Hi all…I’m new to this site and would like some feedback about the etiquette for finding your wedding dress. Some background: I have 5 women in my bridal party (3 are my sisters). I went shopping with one of my sisters last week and while we casually looking at gowns, I found one that I fell in love with, so I put a deposit down on it. Now some of my other bridesmaids are getting upset that they weren’t “invited” to be part of the process. I really wasn’t planning finding my dress so soon, but was I required to have my bridal party with me to try on dresses? Can anyone relate to this problem?
Post # 3
You’re not required to take *anyone* with you. Honestly, more often than not, I would encourage others to take LESS people with them. Less opinions and all that. 🙂
For me, it was just my MOH, my mom, and my little sister. I have 2 other BMs that saw my dress at my first fitting. 🙂 They didn’t seem weird about it at all, but they all differ.
Post # 4
Yeah, It’s not required of you to have an entorouge when shopping for a dress. I think your moh or best friend or your mom/sister is all you need. I knew all my bridesmaids wanted badly to be there when I tried on gowns, but I just told them (after I found my dress) that I just wanted to keep the audience small…because I shop better that way.
Post # 5
I agree with Amelia- you are not required to take anyone! It’s nice to take your mom and mom in law and MOH, if you have good relationships with these people, of course. That’s what I did.
Post # 6
you are not required to take anyone dress shopping. i only had one of my bms and another friend with me because my other bms live in a different state. i was actually planning on going with them while i was in town for my bro’s wedding but i had already purchased my dress.
Post # 7
I did the same thing as you, my sister (MOH) and cousin (bridesmaid) went with me just to look one saturday. i was planning on going the following week to actually purchase my dress and bring my mom, MIL and any other bridesmaids that wanted to come. But I found a dress that I loved the first saturday and the shop of course gave me the “if you buy it today you receive an extra % off” and I can’t pass up a deal so I bought it. Then i felt bad that I didn’t have everyone with me (especially my mom) but no one was really upset. So a couple months later, I brought my mom, one of my bridesmaids and her mom (whom I’m close with) to the bridal shop and showed them the dress in person. I wouldn’t worry about it, you have plenty of other things that you have to deal with while planning a wedding so don’t stress!
Post # 8
- Wedding: September 2011 - Bent Creek Winery (Livermore, California); Reception: Family Residence (San Ramon, California)
I went dress shopping a total of three times. One time a took one friend (who was not a BM, but only because I just had my sister as my MOH and that’s it), and the other two times I took DH (though he didn’t look–he was just there for moral support). It’s totally up to you and what makes you comfortable. It sounds like you didn’t expect to find your dress, but it just worked out that way, so no one should be offended. It may help ease people if you invite them to your first dress fitting, that way they get to see you in your dress before the big day.
Post # 9
Thanks everyone, that makes me feel better! I’ve offered to let the others come see me in the dress for fittings, etc. I also told them we will all be shopping for their dresses too. The sister who helped me find the dress lives the furthest away, so it will be hard for her to join in a lot of the planning, and it was awesome that she got to help me find the dress! 🙂
Post # 10
I have the opposite problem. It’s like pulling teeth to get ppl to come with me. But then again, I am pretty head strong so I usually make pretty independent choices regardless of opinions.
Post # 11
I have not had that problem. Two of my bridesmaids don’t care at all about being included in stuff like that which I am SO happy about. My other bridesmaid, who is my cousin thinks that she should go to EVERYTHING. She lives in Michigan and I live in Pesnnylvania. My wedding is in Michigan. She thinks that she has to be involved in EVERYTHING. She was mad I didn’t invite her to look at the venue, to the cake testing, she’s even angry that my FI and I are taking a private boat ride as alone time on our wedding day. She thinks that it’s rude I didn’t invite her. I think I’m grown enough to make my own decisions.
Don’t feel bad, just explain. Invite them when your dress comes in after you order it so they can all experience it together if it bothers them that much.