Post # 1
And I love it but I’m dreading taking my mom in to see it. i have been overweight all my life, and I have just kind of accepted it. My wedding dress is a size 22. I have been on diets, lost weight, gained it….same old, same old. I know I have a few months to drop some sizes, but I can’t find the motivation. I’m even dreading my Engagament photos next month, bc of my double chin haha. i know my fiancé loves me for who I am, but it’s hard to think of me getting married at my highest weight.
my mom and I have a great relationship, she really is one of my best friends, however ever since I got engaged I feel like every other conversation is about me losing weight. I went to go see my dress alone and I love it. I am worried that when she sees it all I am going to hear about is how I would look better if I lost 20 + lbs.
I am not 100% sure she even likes it, but i dont care bc she said (before we went dress shopping) thats its my dress and her opinion doesnt matter, which was nice to hear! i just don’t want her to ruin this experience for me.
Have any of you other bees had to deal with things like thIs?
Sorry if this is all over the place, just needing to get it off my chest.
Post # 3
@Shmuntz: Oh, dont worry! I am a size 8 and if they see me with a cookie at work they all tell me about my wedding and my dress and losing weight. I used to be a size 20 (street size) so I totally understand how you feel.
Post # 4
Can we see it??? 🙂
Aw, don’t worry – if you love your dress, you’re going to feel beautiful in it and nothing will bring you down on the day.
I can’t understand mothers like this, though. If you flat-out tell her that she is really hurting you and ruining your dress excitement, will she stop? I don’t know if it’s because my mom passed away before I got to the age where she would criticize my weight, or because she was overweight herself and passed down the puffy gene to me, but I can’t even imagine it. I am always just floored when I hear women say their mothers constantly criticize them about their weight.
Post # 6
would love to see the dress! I’m sure you’ll look amazing– remember this is YOUR DAY not your mother’s– being happy makes for a beautiful bride <3
Post # 7
@Shmuntz: I completely understand. I used to be a size 20, and actually got down to a size 4. I’m back up to a 6/8 right now because I’ve been stressed about the wedding and have been eating a lot.
But anyway, the first time I went to try on dresses it was horrific. I felt huge, and I didn’t feel like I looked good in anything. My mom kept saying well when you lose some weight, the dress will look even better. I didn’t want to think about losing weight at the time, I just wanted to be happy with who I was. But I wasn’t happy.
When we took ur engagement pictures, I was so sad. I wanted to look perfect and I was still just as large which didn’t feel perfect to me. Finally after that I started losing weight and did what I thought was impossible. I lost a total of 110 lbs. Then finally when I tried on my new slimmer fitting dress at my new weight, my mom said, you look too thin you should gain some weight. Is there no happy medium?
Well don’t worry, I gained some weight back and I’m sure she’ll be telling me to watch what I eat soon.
Post # 8
Your FI thinks you are beautiful just the way you are, it’s terrible the pressure society puts on women to be a certain size or weigh less etc… You will look beautiful and I would live to see your dress
Post # 9
I remember back when I use to have an actual relationship with my mom she was always saying things like that. I told her how my fiance and I discussed that as long as I was healthy I could careless if I weighed 5,000lbs even though it’s impossible to weigh that much and be healthy. I also use to always keep my hair up because since my fiance likes long hair I wanted to surprise him how long my hair was as I walked down the aisle. Everytime she found out things like that she would always say the same thing. “You do realize that by doing that you are forcing him to leave you. He’ll lose interest in you if you keep it up.” Those two sentences just broke my heart each time.
I have no advice on how to deal with your mom because I have nothing to do with mine anymore.
I do have advice for you though. You have to tell yourself that you’re beautiful. Who cares what anyone else thinks. Plus sized women are beautiful too. When you take your engagement pictures you just work it with confidence. Be bold, take risks, and have fun during the shoot.
Post # 10
Thanks ladies!!!! I was just having on of this “ahhhh life” moment last night. I just needed some support besides my lovely FI. I only have a picture of my dress on my iPad and can’t post them. next time I go, I will take one with a camera to post!!
I agree, there is way to much pressure put on women these days, it’s so devastating to think what it will be like for our kids.
Post # 11
Me!! I am a solid size 20… i actually have no idea what size my dress is (i bought the sample from the store) but i nixed many dresses that i loved because my mom or sister would point out that i looked fat or worse… pregnant! I feel your pain!! But as long as you love it, and feel beautiful in it, don’t let her ruin your big day!! I am sure that you look AMAZING!!!
Post # 12
I completely understand how you feel! My dress came in at the end of November…but I put off trying it on until yesterday so a good 3/4 months! I went by myself in case it didn’t look as amazing on me as I imagined and I didn’t want any fake smiles, but it really was great, my mom was supposed to go with me, but I preferred to do this one alone and see how I felt in the dress before taking anyone back with me! My mom and I are close as well, but I’m also she didn’t go with because she too would be like “It’s beautiful, but just imagine if you lose the rest of what you wanted,” and probably would have ruined th moment for me! Lol! Good luck!