Dress OK for a bridal shower?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
357 posts
Helper bee

BM-is-a-TERRIBLE-acronym:  You mean the bride or the bridesmaid bought a second dress?

In any case, I say hold your tongue for now to not stir up drama. See what happens at the bridal shower. Technically, everyone knows who the bride is, so it won’t take away attention from her eventhough people have similar dresses. The bride will eventually catch wind that her bridesmaid might be trying to compete with her. It’s all speculation at this point.

Post # 5
Member
668 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

The shower dress…whatever. It is kind of copy cat but not enough to stir the pot over. However, the BM wants to undergo a wardrobe change at the wedding into a long breaded white gown, huh?!? She would get major side-eye from me at the reception. It might be good if someone gently pointed out that the wardrobe change (wear the damn BM dress even if it’s awful) and choice (vaguely bridal formal gown) is…questionable.

Post # 6
Member
357 posts
Helper bee

BM-is-a-TERRIBLE-acronym:  I say don’t say anything until she buys the dress. Then casually bring it up in a conversation with the bride like “Oh, did you know that such and such bought a second dress to change?”. Then let her take it from there.

Post # 8
Member
1072 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

The bridal shower stuff is not very important, I would just ignore it. The bridesmaid wanting to change into a full-length beaded white dress at the reception is a bit insane, however, and I think someone should tell her very firmly that it isn’t a good idea. Preferably, that someone should not be the bride since I am sure she has enough on her plate.

Post # 9
Member
1072 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

BM-is-a-TERRIBLE-acronym:  Someone needs to stop being polite about the reception dress and tell her it is unacceptable and she will make an idiot of herself if she tries it. Don’t put it on the bride, enlist some other family member/friend to do it if you don’t want to. A smackdown needs to be laid down here to diffuse the drama before she turns up in her quasi-wedding gown.

Post # 10
Member
89 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

Maybe your friend thinks that it is perhaps a white theme or that the bride would want others to be in white or something? I would politely pull her aside and ask her if she’s asked the bride about changing at the wedding into something that some may perceive as a wedding dress itself, particularly before she buys it. You can also discreetly ask the bride if she had a problem with anyone wearing a long white dress at her wedding or if she has a problem with bridesmaid changing into different dresses – if she has a problem with it that is when you can enlist the help of others to ensure this doesn’t happen while leaving her out of it.

The bridal shower should be a non-issue. The dress isn’t entirely white and it isn’t like there is a dress code anyways for a bridal shower so unless the bride is very sensitive I see no problems with that dress.

Post # 11
Member
1669 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

BM-is-a-TERRIBLE-acronym:  ok i can see how this might be a little…inappropriate…but the whole BM changing dresses for the reception…HELL NO!!! lol

Post # 12
Member
1168 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

In comparison to a beaded floor length white dress at the wedding, I think that shower dress looks mighty fine. HOWEVER, if this thread was on that shower dress alone, I’d say its a no-go. 

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by  SparkleBee11.
Post # 13
Member
305 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Penang1885:  +1 This is exactly what I was thinking!

Post # 14
Member
588 posts
Busy bee

The bridal shower dress seems like a non-issue. They’re not that similar, I wouldn’t think anything of it.

The second dress for the wedding, on the other hand… is just nuts.

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