Post # 1
I am on here all the time but I really never post or comment, but I need your help. Perhaps someone can rescue me from crazy town!
During one of my first bridal gown shopping trips, one of my bridesmaids and I went to David’s Bridal. I tried on this gorgeous, gorgeous puffy ball gown from the White by Vera Wang collection and I love, love, LOVED it!! I had never thought about a puffy ball gown, but I loved how fun and girly I felt in it. —a little back story, I was previously engaged about 5 years ago an bought Allure Bridals 8362 for that wedding and the wedding never happened.– the Allure gown was so fitted and beautiful, but I wanted something different than my first gown this time around.
So, a few days later I brought 5 of my bridesmaids back to see the ball gown and to say they didn’t like it would be an understatement. 🙁 All of them (aside from the BM I went with at first) told me that the gown wasn’t me at all and that I was just settling. They were all expecting something very sparkly and bedazzled and form fitted. I was really hurt and upset by their response and got discouraged about the dress and continued to look for a different one.
Well, when one of my other bridesmaids went with me to a bridal show, I found a Maggie Sottero Cameron gown there for under $1000.00. My friend convinced me to try it on and she fell in love with it. It was fitted and sparkled and did all of the things everyone said was “me” about the dress. We sent pictures to all of my bridesmaids and they all LOVED it. I got excited about finding something that they liked and that I liked and it was on such a good sale, I jumped and bought it.
A week later and I hate it bees. Every time I look at it I think it looks hot and heavy and stiff and uncomfortable. I hate the train and want it taken off and the ruching down the front makes me crazy. I tried it on the other day and had it laced up all the way so I could really see how it looked and I still don’t like it! I have been trying to keep it a secret but finally my FI asked me what was up and l completely broke down in tears to tonight. I just don’t like it, and I feel so terrible that I wasted all if this money and I don’t know what to do. I think it would cost more to alter the dress than to buy a new one. I feel like I now have 2 wedding dresses that I don’t want and I’m turning in to some crazy dress collecting, indecisive bride! My wedding is not for another year and I wish I would have just held off and listened to my heart on this one. 4 of my bridesmaids are sisters or my cousin, so I feel like they may not have the most current understanding if what is “me” or not. What should I do? Has anyone ever felt like this or had second thoughts immediately after buying their gown? I know what I did was dumb, and I’m so angry at myself for never being able to make my mind up about something. I just need to hear what you guys think.
also, sorry if there are a ton of typos, I am typing this on my phone and the autocorrect is awful!!
Post # 3
I’m sorry you’re going through this. Trying to please other people when a bridal gown is so personal to you is tough.
Can you sell the two you have? Maybe you can get enough to cover a significant portion of the Vera Wang one?
Post # 4
@Strawbabies I have been trying to sell the Allure one off and on for the past 5 years and listed it again tonight and got an actual response from someone. (Finally!! Think good thoughts) I also have the Cameron one listed for sale in a few places, so hopefully I can sell her too. I am thankful that my FI is mostly supportive of me. When I first told him, he was silent for a loooong time, but tonight, right before going to bed he told me we would figure something out.
Post # 5
It’s unfortunate your friends tried to convince you something was more “you” than the dress you truly wanted. it really only matters what you and your FI think. People also jump on the band wagon – one girl gives her opinion, another agrees and adds on, it snowballs. You see it all the time on the boards here. I bet you looked lovely in the Vera Wang one and once you have jewelry/veil on will look “blingy”.
If you have to, take a bit of a price cut on the old dress, though you have to decide how low you’re willing to go. Someone will by it add a “steal” price. The other one will probably sell at a normal price as it’s new/unworn. With that money you can put it toward the dream dress. OR find another dreamy dress/get one made by Jasmine’s or similar.
Don’t let the lost money plague you. What’s done is done. Consider this a lesson in always listening to your gut.
Post # 6
I had this problem, where I felt talked into my dress, but I have to keep telling myself that I picked the dress to try on for a specific reason. I go back and forth about the dress, and it’s really hard, especially once money gets invested.
Post # 7
Maybe try to list the dresses at a lower price if they don’t move? We tend to think we haven’t actually lost money until we get rid of something, but in actuality, that money is already gone. Any money towards your dream dress is a good thing!
Post # 8
I know plenty of brides have purchased multiple gowns. I was a 2 dress bride and I love my second choice wholeheartedly (technically I bought 3 but the third was a cheap backup dress in case I put on weight! Don’t beat yourself up. Keep shopping you may even find your dream gown for under $1000. You’ll know for sure when you find ‘the one’ 🙂 good luck selling your dresses
Post # 9
I say next time, you should pick only those friends or family members that would love anything you love. I brought only my mom, because I knew that she would love anything I love and always be supportive of me. THEN, don’t show ANYONE pictures of your dress. Tell them it’s a surprise! That way you won’t be caught in thier web any more!
Post # 10
I’m sorry you’re feeling this way 🙁
Is there any way you could exchange or return the dress ?
Post # 11
Try to sell it and get what YOU like.
Post # 12
You need to pick the dress that YOU love and not anyone else. Do you have pictures? Both gowns are beautiful. I’d love to see pictures of you in both dresses.
I had dress regret myself, ended up in a new dress. I did what felt right for me and now I have no regrets 🙂
Post # 13
Oh man, I was totally in your shoes and had dress regret for months before I finally just realized buying a new dress was worth so much more than me feeling like utter crap.
I agree with what everyone says. Since you have so much time, why don’t you spend the next few months trying to sell the dresses you have and then go shopping again in a little while. I actually went shopping by myself the second time around (and then only brought in a couple of people for opinions once I had found a dress I loved). I actually ended up enjoying that a lot more!
Good luck! I will keep my fingers crossed you can recover some of your money and put it toward your dream dress. Whatever you do, don’t spend too much time beating yourself up over it.
Post # 14
I never understand why brides feel they have to get the approval of all their BMs regarding the dress. I see this happen over and over again on SYTTD, and I always wonder if the bride has regrets later after the show when she gets talked into a different dress by her entourage.
I’m really sorry that you hate your dress. Try to sell the two dresses you have, and then get the Vera Wang you loved. Don’t listen to anyone who tells you it’s not you, because who knows you better than you? No one!
Post # 15
Sell the other two and get the one you love!! I have major dress regret, but it’s too late for me : ( The only approval you need is your own!
Post # 16
@Mrs. Lineman: Clearly you loved the Vera wang from DB, and these girls convinced you to instead purchase something you definitely didn’t like nearly as much. They really shouldn’t have done so unless the dress looked truly hideous on you. You have to go with the one you loved and not worry about what others say is more ‘you’. NO ONE knows what is more you then you.