Post # 1
My Maid/Matron of Honor lives three hours away and has a three year old, so she can’t drop everything and come look at dresses with me. Plus, as I’m an “encore”, we’ve been through this before and I feel bad making her do wedding stuff again. My sister (my BM) just had a baby a month ago and so she probably won’t be able to go, and my mom doesn’t really seem interested in anything wedding at all (probably because of the encore thing, but it is what it is).
Should I just go alone? Or invite others? I have a few girlfriends here who aren’t in my wedding party since it’s so small (one is the wife of FI’s best man), and I thought about asking them just to have someone to go with, but would it be weird since they’re not even involved in the wedding? We may ask Best Man’s wife to read scripture, but they aren’t bridesmaids.
Did anyone else go alone?
Post # 3
I was able to go dress shopping with my mother while I was visiting her, but when it comes to all other wedding planning thngs, I’m in the same boat you are: I’m having my best friend as my one attendant, and she’s 10 hours away. No family nearby. My dearest friend where I live will be out of the country for the whole month around my wedding, so she’s not in it at all. But she completely understood when I asked her to go with me to a bridal expo, and the advice she was able to give me from her own wedding experience was invaluable. We had a lovely day.
I would ask the Best Man’s wife to go dress shopping with you. I bet, if you tell her your situtaion, and that you don’t want to go alone, she’ll be delighted to go with you.
Post # 4
I think it’s fine to ask some non-BM friends who are in the area as long as they will be invited to the wedding. I’ve gone with numerous friends to wedding gown shop even when I wasn’t a Bridesmaid or Best Man and it was super fun!
Post # 5
It depends on how many times you want to go dress shopping. I went alone to one place because I wanted to form some of my own opinions before I got input, but I will not buy a dress without my mom. I have also invited non-bridesmaids to go. What girl doesn’t like wedding dress shopping?
Post # 6
@Carley7.6.13: I thought originally about going alone once and just narrowing it down to a few and then asking my mom and possibly sister to come again so they would just have to look at one or two instead of 10. Maybe I could ask my friends to go to the inital appointment and they could help me narrow it down to 1 or 2 to show my family later, if they even care.
Post # 7
I went alone once, with my sister/MOH once (who was completely disinterested), and with my beau’s cousin once, which was the time I found my dress. I much preferred the trip with the cousin, she was completely objective and had no alterior motives.
Post # 8
Bring friends – it’s so nice to have company and support! Plus I don’t think they would be offended for you involving them even though they’re not in the wedding party – they’re still invited to the wedding, right? I think they’d be happy to be involved and help you since they care about you 🙂
Post # 9
Ya I have found a couple of things. You get better service when you have your mom, and bridesmaids are with you. My MOHs (I have two) both live far away too 🙁 They know they will probably not make a sale unless your important people are there. Even if you tell them you are not ready to make a decision, but those people are with you, there is a glimmer of hope and some consultants will push for the sale.
But I think it is very practical to shop alone or just a couple bridemaids/non-bridesmaids. As much as you want everyone to like your dress, you should eliminate things you don’t like. At the end of the day YOU are wearing the dress, YOU are walking down the isle in it, YOU are going to be looking and cherishing the photos. Even though I thought I had strong opinions, I did get swayed by my mom’s taste and ended up buying a dress I realized after the fact I didn’t like.
Post # 10
I have gone alone, gone with one bridesmaid, gone with another bridesmaid, her mom (who is my future mother-in-law), and their family friend, and gone with my maid of honor, her mother, my mother, and my first grade teacher.
So yeah, just go! Bring some friends if you want — they would probably be happy to be included, regardless of whether they’re actually in the wedding. Going alone is fine, too, and you can always go back with friends.
Post # 11
I went with my mom once, my mom and Maid/Matron of Honor (sis) twice, my Bridesmaid or Best Man (bff1) once, a friend once, and my Bff2 and mom once. The best time I had was when I was just with my Bridesmaid or Best Man (bff1) because we were really able to relax without the pressure family puts on trying on dresses. I think having your Best Man’s wife will make it still a really wonderful experience and include her in a very meaningful way.
Post # 12
i shopped alone 3 times, with one of my BM’s once, and with my mom once. i preferred shopping alone, actually. less opinions, less frustration. only me, the mirror, and a consultant.
however, i did enjoy having my mom with me. because i got to see her reaction. i just didn’t like the stress of having to “please” her tastes.
Post # 13
I went with a non-bridemaid friend that was down to earth. I think it’s good to have at least one person there to give you a second opinion that you trust.
In my case I’d been in a new country a month then Fi proposed. With all my family and friends a long way away I couldn’t just wander out and try dresses on. So I sat down and watched Say Yes to the Dress with my Fi every Friday night to get an idea of what was out there that I liked and what his preferences were. Then one of my new friends from work offered to take me around to some of the local stores. We got to the seond store, second dress and I just loved it, it fitted my shape perfectly. I tried on a few others after it and they didn’t make me feel as good as it did. So I ordered it with a decent discount on the day. No, I don’t have dress regret at all! It arrived the other day and looked even better than the sample 🙂
Post # 14
I went with my mom, gram and an aunt. It worked out perfectly. I liked having them there and they were very postive.. almost too positive LOL. They loved every dress, however it allowed me to pick the ONE that I truly loved.
Post # 15
I would go with what’s going to make you the most comfortable. Good luck dress shopping!
Post # 16
I shopped alone; I had the same issues as you as an encore bride. I went to 4 shops alone and then when I found the dress, I had a girlfriend come back with me to see it and give me an opinion. It was definitely a different experience, but not a bad one.