Post # 1
My parents are happily married now for 45 years. I am admittedly a full-fledged daddy’s girl. Since moving away from the nest I have grown closer to my mother but I am still extremely close with my dad.
So over this past weekend, my mom mentioned that my father wanted to go wedding dress shopping with me and she wanted to know what I thought. I said, “That’s soooooooo cool! Yes, I’d love him to come!” Mom came back stating she really saw it as a moment for just us girls to share. I have to say I was a bit puzzled and deflated. Sheesh.
Later on my dad asked when I was going dress shopping and hinting at coming along which was aaaaaaaaawkward since my momma was there too. I just said, “Sometime in the autumn.”
Have you faced this dilemma? What did you do? Part of me says to bring them both along if that’s what I want to do. You Bees have any wisdom for me on this?
Post # 3
I dont have the same relationship with my Dad, but the shops I’ve been to, men aren’t actually allowed to come to dress trying appointments.
I feel for you with your situation though
Post # 4
- Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall
@LilRhodyGem: F I voted wrong, I went with a mixed group because I had a brides MAN and he was trying to be helpful and asked to come. It’s not something I would have required from him but I didn’t mind him being there.
Honestly I was all about the dresses and hardly noticed anyone else that was there, I didn’t need their approval or their affirmation that my dress was the dress. I went with my aunt (who pushed her way into an invite) mom, MIL, MOH and Bridesman.
Post # 5
I did my first gown shopping trip with just my mom, so she got to be the first one to see me in wedding gowns. Since then, I’ve gone with my mom, MIL, FI, and some friends.
I always call the shop ahead of time and make sure they’re set up in a way that allows my FI to be in the viewing area. I’ve been to one place that doesn’t allow men since it didn’t have a real changing area, but other than that it has never been a problem.
Post # 6
I went shopping with my mom and dad. I am very close with my dad and had absolutely no issues with any of the salons that I went to.
Post # 7
Maybe take your mom dress shopping, and then when you find “the one”, go back with your dad?
I’m also close with both of my parents and asked my dad if he wanted to go dress shopping with me. He laughed at me, ha! He was sooooo not interested in it.
Post # 8
@StL.Ashley: LOL. Same here. My father would NEVER come shopping with me anywhere and I’m close with him. I went with just my mom.
I must say that when I went to some salons and men were there….it was awkward.
Post # 9
@gelaine22: I agree with it being a little weird when there are guys in the salon, especially if you don’t know them. Since a lot of times you may have a dress that doesn’t fit all the way, your back/booty might be hanging out a bit. It’s a little embarassing if you don’t know the guy who can just be staring at you!
Post # 10
I went on four separate shopping excursions with different combinations of folks each time.
First: Mom and FMIL
Second: Mom and Dad
Third: One of my BMs
Dad wasn’t particularly into it at first, but I think, in the end, he liked that he had a say/got to share his opinions.
If your dad wants to go, I think you should invite him and gently explain to your mom that you want him there. My dad noticed things that mom missed and was a good voice of reason.
EDIT: In all but the fourth visit I was the only bride in the boutique, so there would have been no gender awkwardness for other folks.
Post # 11
@StL.Ashley: that’s EXACTLY how it was. Many dresses were either too small or too big or just ill-fitting. Coming out and standing on those platforms with men made me want to leave those salons. I never went to one that didnt allow the men though (not that I know of).
Post # 12
I went with just my mom and with my mom and dad. The first time I went shopping my mom was in town on a business trip without my father, so it was just us. The next three shopping trips were when they came up to visit me Wednesday through Sunday. My mom and I went to my morning appointment, and my dad went to the zoo alone (I invited him, but he said he didn’t really want to go). For the afternoon appointment he was going to wander around the shopping mall, but showed up at the appointment 15 minutes in (I think his curiosity got the best of him). My mom had been taking pictures with my camera because dad had theirs, so when he showed up I got dual parent camera action. The third and last dress shopping appointment was an unplanned walk-in so both of my parents were there. My mom seemed happy that my father got to be there when I found my dress. It was really a family thing for us.
If you look in the mirror in this picture you can see both of my parents taking pictures and my consultant (in the red shirt) looking super excited.
Post # 13
@Eckle: Ha ha. That’s funny! I see everyone in the mirror!
Post # 14
I bought my dress with my SO and no one else :-p I say take them both!
Post # 15
I couldn’t vote because my options weren’t there. I went with my mom and sister and FI’s mom and sister, no friends.
I’m very close to my dad too, but there were enough “wardrobe issues” (body parts hanging out by accident and whatnot) that I wouldn’t want my dad (or anyone else’s dad) to see. :-/
Post # 16
most times, i was alone. i did most of my dress shopping alone. aside from one appointment where i went with my FI, one appointment with my bridesmaid, and two with my mom. the rest were alone, and i wanted it that way. after those appointments with people, i made the decision to do it by myself, and only call in opinions after i found something i completely fell in love with. i get too overwhelmed when i have opinions being thrown at me before i can form my own.
i think that maybe you could invite dad to one appointment? i know my dad would be bored stiff if he had to go dress shopping. he can’t even handle being in target for more than like, 10 minutes. maybe your dad just wants to give opinions? afterall, you’re his little girl (: