Post # 1
- Wedding: November 2014 - Mauritius
Has anyone ever been a ‘victim’ of or witness to dress snobbery?
I am getting married in a private ceremony in Mauritius in November, it will be around 30-35C (86-95F) and we’re getting married on a beach. After trying on many dresses, I settled on a gorgeous light chiffon gown, drop waist, fitted bodice, strapless sweatheart neckline. It’s actually a bridesmaid dress, it fitted well, is very comfortable and I think perfect for an intimate beach wedding, as well as being very reasonably priced! However when I have told people (who have asked) about the dress, I have had a lot of ‘oh, it’s not actually a wedding dress’, ‘you’re getting married in a bridesmaid dress!!??’, ‘that’s very simple, don’t you want something special for your wedding?’. To be honest, I don’t care too much, and yes I could have lied and said it was a wedding dress etc, but I love it, I’m comfortable in it and I think it’s special, I just find it really strange how people react! Not having been involved in the planning of any weddings before and this being my first (and only I hope hehe) I had no idea people felt this way!!
Just interested to see people’s opinions and if you have had the same?
This topic was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by UKbee.
Post # 2
UKbee: people are dumb and ignorant. <br /><br />
Its a wedding dress, its YOUR wedding dress. Thats what matters. If you love it, and you feel beautiful in and its perfect for you, then tell everyone else to go scratch!
I am sure its very beautiful!
Post # 3
UKbee: People just need to zip it! Whatever happened to “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all?” I think it sounds lovely and I think brides should be able to wear what they want and feel beautiful without some dumb butt opening their fat opinionated yap.
Post # 4
UKbee: people are rude. Maybe stop telling people it is marketed as a bridesmaids dress…just say what you love about it, perfect for the beach, etc.
Post # 5
if you’re wearing it for you’re wedding, it’s a wedding dress. bye haters.
Post # 6
- Wedding: October 2014 - UK
UKbee: Ugh, ignore them, your dress sounds beautiful!
Whilst I’ve not come across anything myself, I remember when my cousin got engaged, a wealthy family member of her fiance said to her “Well of course you won’t be buying your dress from a shop“.
She did end up getting her dress custom-made, but she certainly wasn’t impressed by the initial inference!
Post # 7
UKbee: I would just say “I think it’s a beautiful dress that’s perfectly special and perfect for me.” That should shut them up.
I’m not wearing a traditional wedding dress either – rather, a long nude evening gown with some silver sequins. I’ve gotten a few “don’t you want to feel like a bride” comments – uh, I’m going to feel like a bride because I actually AM a bride!
Post # 8
- Wedding: June 2014 - San Francisco, CA
Something about getting married makes brides into public property – suddenly, everyone feels like they’re entitled to an unasked-for opinion about their body, their hair, their clothes, their makeup, their exercise regime, their desire (or lack thereof) to bear offspring, etc. What gives? I’ll never know. I encountered something similar in my office after I eloped; I changed my facebook status/picture etc and a coworker asked me about it. I told her the polite abridged version of the story (there were family and financial issues so we decided to focus on the marriage, party is in June 2014, she will be invited.) She empathized appropriately, but then said (in response to my outfit, a $29 dress fromTarget), “When I got married, I felt like it wouldn’t be a real wedding without a princess ball gown. It’s the only time you ever get to wear one. I just feel so sorry for people who don’t get to have that. Like it doesn’t count, or something. Will you be wearing one for your elopement party?” Um, EXCUSE ME?? The State of California says I’m married, you don’t get a vote, sweetie, LOL.
At the end of the day, they don’t have to wear it. You do. Pick something that makes YOU happy, and change the subject when people butt in with their opinions. (Unless you specifically asked for them. Then … well, they can say what they want, I suppose.)
Post # 9
UKbee: If you’re not trying to keep your dress secret from your FI, you can always share a photo with us Bees to ooo and ahhh at with you! Don’t worry about everyone else, you will look gorgeous!
Post # 10
You don’t need to justify your dress choice to anyone. Or even explain it. Also: they are being stupid, if you get married in a dress it’s your wedding dress. And you probably saved some money too!
If other people ask about the dress say that you love it and found something perfect for the beach. It’s not like they can tell it’s a bridesmaid dress by looking at it :/
Post # 11
I think that for some reason when it comes to wedding dresses people have a hard time compartmentalizing that it is not THEIR dress. I found this when dress shopping. The entorage can lose sight of what YOU think is perfect for a wedding, and what THEIR dream dress is.
Post # 12
It’s this exact sentiment that allows the wedding industry to rip off brides. A nice dress will cost “x” dollars, but slap the word “wedding” on there and it’s “x thousand” dollars. And people start thinking it’s not for weddings unless it explicitly says wedding in the description. I remember looking at some beautiful rings in a display case once and the sales person came out and said oh those are promise rings, come in and look at the engagement rings. I liked the promise rings better! It’s doesn’t matter what it’s labeled, it’s what speaks to you and your wedding. Congrats and best of luck 🙂
Post # 13
It’s this exact sentiment that allows the wedding industry to overcharge brides. A nice dress will cost “x” dollars, but slap the word “wedding” on there and it’s “x thousand” dollars. And people start thinking it’s not for weddings unless it explicitly says wedding in the description. I remember looking at some beautiful rings in a display case once and the sales person came out and said oh those are promise rings, come in and look at the engagement rings. I liked the promise rings better! It doesn’t matter what it’s labeled, it’s what speaks to you and your wedding. Congrats and best of luck 🙂
Post # 14
It is your dress, so no matter what it is actually classified as, it is your wedding dress. I would tell them that. 🙂
Post # 15
- Wedding: November 2014 - Mauritius
rachel85: I agree, and what is with the ‘I feel so sorry for you’ – I have had this about the fact we will be marrying alone, just us two and the whitnesses and I get the whole, it’s so sad, I feel so sorry for you your family won’t be there. DON’T! I’m not, I decided to do it this way, and it’s not sad at all. Same with the dress, why do you feel bad for me? I don’t, I feel great!