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Well I know corsets can be a pain but have you ever tried spanx (or cheaper verisons) I find they work great. I think an empire waist might like u say make you look pregnaunt.
Maybe look at the more wrapped style dresses and something that pulls the waist line down to ur hips.
Personally some of the dresses I've tried that are "corseted" arn't very bad for breathing I would avoid the rigid steal boned corsets though.
Also you said you are large busted but have you considered adding to it? I know this does the trick for me sometimes and I'm a 40I and I'll still use a push up bra and extra padding to make them a little more dramatic.
And to save you a drive do you have any larger deptment stores near by? sometimes they have a formal wear section (not bridal) that you could try on some different styles at.Lastly if you have any local plus size stores (i'm canadian so all I can think of is maybe lane bryant) go in and see what style dresses they are carring you could get a feel for the basic shape of the dress and go from there.
I'd go for some A-lines and things that give visual interest (ruching) around the mid-section!
I second PP's suggestion about A-line gowns. I definitely have a tummy and I found them to be the most flattering. The one I got is A-line with rouching and beading:
@Mylnn: Steel boning isn't more rigid than plastic, that's a fairly common misconception. Spiral steels are incredibly flexible but unlike plastic they won't buckle and deform under stress. Therefore steel boning is actually a plus size girl's best friend. Whether you can breathe in a corset is more to do with how well it fits. If it is the wrong shape or size then you'll be uncomfortable no matter what it's made of. I'd recommend a corset for any plus size girl as it will help turn wobbles into curves.
@SpecialSundae ahh I was just going from personal exp my steel boned corset hurt after about an hour where any of my other ones feel ok could just be my corset though.
I am chesty and my biggest problem area is absolutely my belly. I ended up with a more fitted gown that had a ton of rouching. I was so concerned about having my chest spill over that I ended up going without a bra. With one, I got the whole "boobs in my face" look when I sat down. So that is one hint, try sitting down in the dress and during the alterations. I didn't expect to end up with this dress but just felt so glamorous in it. It didn't have a corset either so there are plenty of dresses out there that don't. My advice is to try on everything. Here are a couple pics of my dress.
@Mylnn: I'm not saying corsets can't be uncomfortable, but much like bras if they fit wrong they'll dig in and be unflattering. Plastic boning seems like a great idea but if it buckles (which often it does) it will dig in really badly. Steel bones are heavier but the right ones in the right places are actually more comfortable. The firm feel of a corset comes from a combination of two to four layers of stiff fabric, spiral and flat steel boning and a rigid steel busk.
If you want to see plus-size girls looking awesome in corsetted wedding dresses, check out Uptight Clothing!
Their favourite model in jeans and a t-shirt:
http://www.uptight-clothing.co.uk/Time%20Scale/fittingfrontjumper.jpg
In her final corsetted dress:
http://www.uptight-clothing.co.uk/Time%20Scale/fittingwed.jpg
(Sorry, I can't upload pics from work.)
I'm plus size and have a tummy and big boobs. I say a definite thumbs down to empire waist. Big boobs + empire waist = pregnant looking. I went for an a-line, non-strapless dress. I haven't gotten married yet, but I think it's really flattering. The ruching hides my problem waist, and the straps make me feel like I won't come spilling over the top.
Yeah, as PPs have shown, I actually think a fitted bodice dress is the way to go. I always find them most flattering on an 'apple' shape, and I agree that empire should be avoided. It's a tough silhouette to wear for anyone. I'd say something between a mermaid and aline (not super fitted around the bottom, like a mermaid, but up to the hip) would be good.
And rouching definitely helps keep the eye moving up and down, which will make you look fabulous!
I am not plus sized but still have a belly to contend with. I agree emptire is the worst! Not only does it give one that pregnancy look, but I often feel that that many of the styles remind me of night gowns! I'll show you my dress, it is A-line and also has wraps around the top half and lowered waist, which @Mylnn: suggested: When I tried on this dress I was like...oh my god, my waist looks sooo small!!! (an experience I didn't have in any other dress!!) so that was exciting! Good luck with your dress search and keep us updated!
@KatyElle: Awww...thanks. :) That first picture is my absolute favorite from the day - and completely candid if you'll believe it!
The key to not having fat pushed up over a bodice is not pulling the corset too tight at the top. As you go further down you can tighten it.
Wow, you are all stunning! Really. I don't buy for a minute that you Bees have a bigger belly like mine. ;) Thanks so much for sharing your photos and tips!
Our closest department stores are just pitiful in the plus size sections, no comparable dresses like prom gowns or what have you to try on. I may just have to suck it up and find a bridal shop with plus sizes to travel to when spring gets a bit closer. I think the nearest David's is about three hours east.
And thanks for the link, misschickpea. Definitely showing it to Mom.
I agree with pp and would also suggest princess seams. There is no waist seam but still plenty of structure in the style.
I think that if you go with empire waist ballgown vs a-line that you wouldn't look pregnant. A hoop slip can hide anything! If you did go aline a skirt with alot of visual interest can detract from your tummy. Corsets didn't push my front parts all over but sure did a good job of giving me back boobs. I'm thinking I squish better naturally. lol You may find the same thing to be true. Just keep an open mind and try on everything you like and a few you never expected to like.
Definitely not, haha! I was more thinking dresses like this, not cut like yours:
I have to agree against the empire waist. I have a larger stomach than ta-tas and empire waists made me look maternity. It does depend on the designer though. I went with droppped waist and ball down bottom. My 2nd best dress was A line.
I agree with what they all said - I have a huge belly compared to the rest of my body and was able to find something fabulous.. a line is perfect and ruching made everything look so much better! 
A-line should probably be best, with some rouching to draw the eye on a diagonal down your body. You should avoid fit and flate, mermaid, and trumpet if your belly is the widest part of your torso because that will definitely make you look pregnant as the dress wits tight below your belly and down your thights. The empire will make it look like you are maybe hiding a baby belly, but a mermaid-variety will make it look like you are showing off a baby belly.
A corset will not necessarily have to be so tight that you can't breathe or eat in order to be tight enough to give you a bit more of a draw-in waist.
Good luck shopping!
i have had a large weight loss...down 175 pounds. but what that means is alot of skin, my heaviest area was my belly so now i have skin that just sits there. so with dress shopping i had to make sure i could hide it best possible and also not get the pregnant look.
i tried on tons of styles, best were a lines with ruching, corset backs are AMAZING maggie sottero makes the best ones i believe.
here is my final choice its by Allure:
@DawnaN: You look fantastic! That's a gorgeous gown, love the shoulder detailing. And congrats on your hard work!
Tinaspoon, that dress looks like it was made for you. So pretty!
Thanks again, everyone! I hope this thread is helping/can help other brides, too!
cid:4E832678-339A-4F95-893C-E5B4DD9C1AE5/IMG00807-20120204-1021.jpg
I am a true apple and this is my dress, it's a fuller a line. It's unreal what it did for my midsection....
@automaticflowers: Thanks! Not everyone here loves it and the picture doesn't do it justice but I just adore it!
Mine is an a-line...I believe they said with an empire waist. Guess I got lucky!
I have a huge post baby pouch and I am very apple shaped as well but I went for a ball gown with a very fitted bodice. It makes me look sooooo much smaller than I really am. Since my belly is way bigger than my chest the top is too big and needs taken in but it fit's my tummy and hides all the problem areas. I feel amazing in my dress!
@HappilyEverAfter54: That dress is simply gorgeous on you! I literally gasped when I saw the picture. I hope I can find something half as beautiful!
HappilyEverAfter54, mrsesq, thanks for showing your dresses! They look gorgeous on you both.
I have a mini dilemma here, maybe you bees can help (again). My fiance and our families have fallen in love with this particular dress, but I'm not sure how flattering it will be. There's boning and a corset back, but I'm just not sure. Have any of you tried on a silhouette that looks like this? I know it's not similar to what you've shown me, but they all love this damn dress so much. (I love the back, not wild about the front.)
The other dress I'm leaning toward could be more flattering and comfortable, after adding straps. Thoughts? #1, #2, or both horrible and keep looking? 
Here's a photo of me from my Sparkpeople page, if it helps.
I think both dresses are very pretty but my guess is that #2 would work better for you. I know I'd be worried about #1 on me with my belly. Honestly, there is no way to know without trying on the dresses. What you think you'll love or what will look good on you, may not be what you end up loving ON you. I thought I wanted a fuller skirt like your #2 and it looked horrid on me. Made me look a lot bigger than I am. Is it possible for you to try those dresses on somewhere?
@chrispygal: Those specific dresses, probably not. Ugh, living in the sticks? Over it. I could try looking for shops that carry gowns with similar silhouettes, perhaps.
Thanks! :)
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So I look preggers? Darn it 
So, compared to some brides here I feel like I qualify as ultra plus size, haha. I'm looking for a dress that's comfortable but doesn't make me look pregnant. My stomach protrudes slightly farther than my (also large) bust, so I think that makes me an apple shape?
My mom is pushing for empire waist, but if I recall correctly, that silhouette gives me the exact appearance I'm hoping to avoid. Are corsets the only way? Because I have this crazy concern about being able to breathe and not having my fat squished up over the top of the corset when I sit down.
The nearest bridal shop is three hours away, so I'm hoping some of you will be kind enough to show me what ya got and help me save gas money. ;) TIA!