Post # 1
My boyfriend told me the ring is coming soon. Yay!
He’s pretty traditional on most things, and I think he will be on this. I know he wants it to be a surprise, pick out the ring, and make it special for me. While that’s all great, it kinda worries me that the ring I’ll wear forever might not be my style.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m so in love with him that I’d be happy with one out of those quarter machines! But at the same time, I don’t wear much jewelry, and I never wear rings at all. I have no idea what he’s going on to pick this thing. I know what I prefer in a ring. My preference would be a round solitaire in a tiffany setting. There’s a couple of styles I don’t care for at all that are popular now.
As silly as it sounds, I don’t know how to tell him what I’d like in a ring. I don’t want him to think there’s any pressure to guess my “dream ring” or that I he’d let me down if he went a different way, or make him think that getting a certain style ring is my priority. More than anything, I’m thrilled he’s planning to spend the rest of his life with me, and is taking steps to make that happen, but a little part of me would really like to love my ring too.
Have any of you been in this situation? Is there someway to give him a hint?
Post # 3
I love the Tiffany setting! Good choice! 😉 (I’m biased as it’s my e-ring!)
If you want to drop a hint without pressuring him, take him ring shopping with you and try on some rings. That way you can see what he can see what you like and you can see what he likes.
That’s exactly what I did with my FI before we got engaged. We would go to a variety of stores and try on rings of all shapes and sizes and also to learn about diamonds from different places.
I tried on the classic Tiffany setting and loved it instantly. But, I never told my now FI – but I guess he could tell the way I would stare at it. At any rate, it turns out he loved it too.
And you are right about it coming from a gumball machine even, because when he proposed, I was so happy – I couldn’t careless what my e-ring looked liked or where it was from. I was soooo excited! 🙂 The fact my FI picked out the ring I loved…it was just a bonus!
Hope this helps! 🙂
Post # 4
I know it’s not like this for everyone but the ring my fiance picked wouldn’t have been what I would have picked for myself, but it is “MY” ring. Not because it was given to me, but because he looked down at it and knew that, that ring was meant for me. I wear jewelry a lot, always have. The rings I have were more non traditional. But my engagement ring is a very traditional solitare. I love it and couldn’t imagine having any other. I was so happy to see my ring, it was is the ring of my dreams and I didn’t even know it. Maybe I feel this way because it came from him and his heart or maybe I’m some crazy sentimental fool but my main point is to trust your boyfriend. You’ve been together this long and he knows you. He’ll see a ring in a case somewhere and it will scream “RED BIRD” to him and that will be your ring.
However if you don’t want to go on the old faith system then mention “This ring I saw on the internet the other day that was so breath taking” and proceed to show him a picture.
Post # 5
Dropping hints can be sooo awkward, and many traditional guys don’t want to go ring shopping with you. (although, you really should go to see what looks good on you! It might be different than what you have in mind!) But I have a solution!! I recently told a girl on the Waiting board what I came up with after my guy and I decided our engagement and wedding plans.
Go ahead and go ring shopping — with your best girl friend! Then, let her tell your guy next time you’re all together (or even, through a text or facebook message) that when he’s ready to buy a ring, to give her a call! My future MOH told mine at his birthday party when we were discussing future plans, “You know, you really should let me know when you’re ready to get her a ring! You know I know what she likes!!” He seemed relieved at the idea and said, “Oh, I will for sure!” What guy wouldn’t want that kind of assurance?
This way, your friend can relay exactly what you want to your future FI, but he still can surprise you based on your choices. Win-win!
Post # 6
littlemissmango, thats sounds so easy to pull off but I wonder if my guy wouldn’t think that I’ve put her up to it? He’s suspicious that way
Post # 7
Well, I set my ring as his background on his laptop! But if you want to be more subtle, next time you are in the mall, go to Zales, Kays or even Macys and look at some bracelets and necklaces then rings. But be VERY careful on what you say and only comment on a few. For the winner, say “that takes my breath away!”
Post # 8
You’ve given tons of hints over the years without even knowing it. He’s in love with you and wants to spend his life with you, so has obviously taken note of your tastes and personal style. He probably already knows more than you think. Is he a good gift giver in general? (Does he consistently pick out things you enjoy that are just your style?) With a little probing from a good jewelry salesperson, he might get it just right with no further hints from you.
I decided to leave my e-ring choices totally up to my guy. He talked with a jeweler who asked questions to help him focus (What does she do for a living? What’s her personal style? What colors does she wear? etc.). The result? A ring more perfect than anything I could have hinted for! Good luck! It’s fun knowing that a proposal is just around the corner!
Post # 9
You know, probably b/c you guys are both so traditional, and your ideal ring is the classic engagement ring, he’ll probably pick that out for you. Heck, even if someone would prefer a completely out there style, it’s hard to not like The Tiffany Ring.
Post # 10
@champagne wishes– lmao!!
@redbird– i think hints are overrated, personally. Give him guidelines– he’ll probably appreciate it! Something non-pushy like “I’m SO thrilled that you said you’re going to start shopping for a ring for me! I know it must be a little hard on you because I don’t wear much jewelry so I thought maybe we should talk quickly about what I really like and what I really don’t like? My favorite part about a ring is if it has a tiffany setting, and I really like xyz shapes. I don’t like abc shapes at all, and I’m not a fan of halo. I’m so excited to see what you pick out for me!!”
Post # 11
I made a few comments about engagment rings that our friends and family had. My SIL got a three stone but with a sapphire, so I commented about how much I loved her ring, but would prefer a diamond center stone if it were my ring.
I think jadeblue is right, that he probably has a good idea of what you like anyways, but if you have a specific preference of yellow gold/palladium /platinum/white gold you should just tell him.
I also think it would be a great idea (like littlemissmango suggested) to have a friend that knows what you want, in case your SO wants her help. My husband took my mom to see the ring he was planning on getting once he had picked “the one.”
Post # 12
Im not going to lie.. when my husband told me he was going to go ring shopping.. I made a little post it note with things I liked in a ring.
prefer round cut
ring size 5 1/2
carat doesnt matter youre asking me to marry you!
& he actually took it with him and he STILL has it in his wallet a year and a month after weve been married!
Post # 13
@justlikeheaven – that’s adorable!
Post # 14
haha thanks Melissa.
I actually got everything I wanted too & more! =]
Post # 15
I had the same situation and one day while we were shopping at a nearby mall I asked if we could go into the jewelry store to get my diamond earrings cleaned. While we were in there I lingered by the e-rings and pointed out a few I hated and a few I loved.
I also suggested that I didn’t want him to get too stresed out over picking the ‘right’ ring and if he wanted he could get a ‘loaner’ ring and they we could pick it out together.
Luckily he was paying attention and although my ring wasn’t my first pick it was a very close second. Him picking it out by himself makes me LOVE it even more!
Post # 16
We had the ring discussion, and agreed it makes no sense to either of us to pick out someone else’s ring and expect them to wear it until they die without having any say in picking it out. Now if he could just go ahead and propose, then we could go shopping! I already have a store picked out to start at (hoping for a beautiful opal)!
But if your dream is for him to pick it without you, then I wish you the best. Here’s my cautionary tale: I once told a man I’d always wanted a gold heart-shaped locket. He got one without my input. It had this heavy chain (not very feminine) and was really plain…I hated it. I really had liked a MUCH cheaper one I’d seen at Target! He’d already had it engraved, so I was stuck with it. When our relationship ended, I had the engraving buffed out for $10 and sold it to the woman who’d most admired it (the secretary and my daughter’s school) for half of the purchase price. Paid off a bill and wasn’t stuck with the thing. Still wishing you the best!!!