Post # 1
Okay so confession of guilty pleasure coming up: I watch Dr. Phil…. whew. Okay I’m glad I got that off my chest. 🙂
Anyways… today’s show is about women dating and what is settling and what isn’t. One (totally crazy) guest made the statement that she thinks the reality is that all guys cheat and women just need to get over that. I’ve also heard this from some of my friends! They believe that most men will cheat at some point in their lives and its just one of things about life that is imperfect. Also.. a friend of mine recently told her mother that her boyfriend had been cheating on her for a year (expecting the mother to demand she break up with him), her mother’s response? “It happens”!!!!
Sigh. Maybe I’m naive? I believe that my dad has never cheated. I believe that my grandfather never cheated (one of the 2 anyways). I believe that my guy would never cheat on me.
What about you guys? Do you think that “most” guys cheat? Am I just being totally naive here?
Post # 3
I’m with you Corgitales, in that I believe that my husband would never cheat on me. He really is a different kind of cat which is surprising in this day and age. I also believe my dad has never cheated or will cheat. I do know however, that my g’father did.
I do know there are A LOT of guys who cheat but “most” I am just not sure. It really depends on the guy. It’s easy to stereotype a man when all you hear about or even see are guys cheating.
Some guys just might surprise you…
Post # 4
I don’t think most men cheat – that’s totally unfair! I have lots of guy friends who take their relationships and fidelity very seriously. I believe my dad and all of my uncles haven’t cheated. It’s a terrible blanket statement to just say that men will inevitably cheat and women should deal wtih it. Just because there are some bad apples doesn’t mean it’s ok to say men cheat. I don’t think you’re naive. I know my FI won’t cheat on me either.
Wtf? What a crazy guest.
Post # 5
I have heard of a lot of guys and girls (just witnessed an engaged co-worker make out with a guy at a bar last friday night) that do cheat, but I definitely don’t think ALL guys cheat! I too believe with everything in me that my grandfather and father have never cheated. I also believe that my husband will never, or has ever cheated on me. He is way too honest (in a very good way) to ever do that and not tell me. He is also a good person with high standards and sees that as so wrong.
Post # 6
I don’t think that’s a true statement. I do know it used to be widely accepted that men would sleep around on their wives and the wives just had to “deal”, but it wasn’t considered a big deal! Were talking back in the days of the 1500’s and stuff.
I think a lot of people in general DO cheat, i mean, you know at least a couple of people who have cheated or been cheated on, right?
But to say that all men cheat on their wives is sad. Some people are very jaded, though, so I can see how they arrive at that conclusion. I wouldn’t go so far to say “most”…i’d say some. I mean, in reality, some people do!
I think if you make that statement, you have to say the same about the woman too! Women are more inclined to have emotional affairs
Post # 7
Quality guests on that show! No but really, I don’t think it’s fair to say all men cheat. I strongly believe my FI would never cheat.
I think maybe a person can make this argument depending on what their definition of “cheating.” Looking at another woman: cheating. Saying hello to a strange woman in a bar: cheating. That’s not my definition but if it is, then yes, it might be easier to believe all guys cheat.
Post # 8
I stumbled across this article the other day on msn: http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/my-married-life-blog-post.aspx?post=1296426
The one therapist thinks the true numbers of people who cheat in marriage is more than half?!
I try not to think about this stuff too much. I don’t think my hubby would ever cheat–I know that’s so cliche to say–but really in knowing his personality, his morals, his character, I just don’t see it ever happening. But hearing things like this… good grief man, what is wrong with people?!
Post # 9
I fell sorry for the women who said that. But hey; maybe she’ll get lucky & some guy was also watching that show & will seek her out to show her what a Real Man is. A man can choose or not choose commitment just as easily as a woman can.
Post # 10
Ahh cheating….such a grey subject, very little black and white here. I’m so stinkin happy I never have to worry about it with my man…long story that I don’t want to get into here, but I know he is not going to ever cheat on me…
But once upon a time I cheated on someone…and still don’t really feel guilty about it. Why? It was a long time fantasy come true (hot sexy Thai man on a beach in Thailand under the stars,.. helllloooooo) and was not emotional at all. It is a fun memory I will think about when I’m eighty years old.
If it had been with a man I knew and I had developed an emotional relationship with him as well..then that would be a different story.
I tend to think that a person who cheats (other than a once in a lifetime fulfill a fantasy thing) does so because deep down they really aren’t with the right person…
But I am a big believer in the idea that we each have 1 special someone out there, and a lot of people don’t marry that right person ever..or the 1st..or the 2nd time…or even the 5th time for my Uncle. And if you are not with the right person deep down your true self knows that and acts out in various ways. And for some, the way they act out is by cheating.
Post # 11
i believe that there are just as many men out there that cheat , that there are woman out there that have cheated . I can safely say that my man has never and will never cheat on me ( partly cuz he knows i will kill him ..lol ) ..no seriously though he knows i have been down that route w/ my ex ..he would never. I have a friend ( female) who cheated on her ex and was tempting fate by ruinin her relationship now, i give her the speech ” do you want to be happy , or do you want to be a fling..” ..but this goes with my theory that , men and women cheat..
Post # 12
My friends have made comments that my FI will cheat one day on me because he’s a pilot and that’s what pilots do. It makes me sad that they feel this way because my FI is not like that. He isn’t stuck on himself, he is so kind hearted and would do anything for anyone. My response back to them has been that he could easily worry about me being home alone when he is away. Or it doesn’t matter their profession.
I think as time goes on we all have to stay in tune with our spouses. When things start to slip I think we need to seek help
Post # 13
@vintage, they say the same about military men. “girlfriend in every city” mmhmm.
Post # 14
Um… as a Latina I will say that I think 90% or more of Latino men cheat. They had a segment on our local Spanish radio station a couple months back, open to men and women, which was “Can Latino men be faithful?” All the callers that I heard in like a 10 minute span, both male and female, said a big fat NOOO.
Now, I feel pretty confident that my dad has never cheated on my mom and I doubt my brother will cheat on his FI. However, every single other of my extended relatives has had an infidelity or been a victim of infidelity. All my friends who are latino have either cheated or been cheated on. So.. I don’t know the answer to your question but I do think it may vary by culture.
My fiance is white so I don’t have to worry about it, hahaha 🙂
Post # 15
@hellohellohello- that is so interesting that it might vary by culture. I guess if it is more expected/accepted in the latino culture that men do this, it might be kind of a self-fulfilling prophesy right?
I’m glad I’m not the only one out there who thinks this chick was nuts. 🙂 She was 48 and was desperate to get married because she wanted to have kids and was engaged to a man who was an alcoholic, had a borderline personality disorder, was at least verbally abusive if not physically, and who cheated on her. But to her it was okay to marry and procreate with this man because “all men cheat” and “there is no prince charming” so she just had to settle for who was willing.
Post # 16
no, not ALL men cheat!
but if you are the type of person that only dates one type of guy and hes a bum and all the other guys you date/hang out with are bums then of course you are going to say “all men”
same thing if a male is raised in a family where its ok to cheat or drink or abuse your spouse – if they grow up thinking that behaviour is acceptable then you might find a high % of males in the extended family that may meet these statistics
saying “all” is stupid – thats like saying all leos are attention grabbing bossy boots which i assure you im not most of the time 🙂