Post # 1
I’m in need of some advice.
My fiance and several of our friends, as well as a few family members, have a past with substance and alcohol abuse. Several of our friends are also part of religious denominations of which they do not drink, or drink very little.
We have made the decision to have a dry wedding.
However, some of our family members have been poking fun, or sneaking in comments here and there about our decision to not serve alcohol at our wedding- His mother, and her siblings have made jokes about it, and its making me feel like we will be percieved as being “cheap” or not good hosts on our wedding day.
I, personally, would like to offer light refreshments- champagne for a toast, or maybe one signature cocktail. My fiance, however, feels strongly about not having alcohol, though I feel his motivation is mostly financial- not so much about his past… we are on a tight budget.
Our wedding is during the day, on a Sunday, and will likely be over by 5 or 6 pm!
Should I be worried about this or even bother trying to convince my fiance that we should at least have champagne? I want to be supportive of his wishes, but I also want my guests to enjoy themselves.
This topic was modified 2 years, 6 months ago by ihearttj.
Post # 2
- Wedding: July 2014 - Prague
I think it would be a good idea to offer something– as you say– light. Champagne or wine, or the signature drink idea– those are a good compromise.
Post # 3
if you are getting married during the day on a Sunday, nobody should be expecting alcohol anyway. Maybe a nice champaign toast would be nice, but since your guests have substance abuse issues, I would be safe and offer sparkling grape juice instead.
Post # 4
I wouldn’t expect it as much for a day time wedding. As long as there are nice alternatives, like a good quality flavoured sparkling water so it feels a bit more like a special occasion. Don’t cave for those family members when your FI is happy with no alcohol.
Post # 5
- Wedding: A very pretty church.
ihearttj: Supporting the sobriety of yourselves and those close to you seems way more important than other people thinking you’re cheap. If you want to make a point, splash out on expensive mocktails, but why cave in to these people? Even if you had an infinite budget why should going against your principles be expected?
Nb. I am a person who likes a good g&t or glass of wine, but I wouldn’t expect people who had an objection to it to provide it for me at their wedding. When I go to dinner at a vegetarian friend’s house I don’t expect them to provide a carnivore alternative.
Post # 6
I don’t think that not serving alcohol should be a problem at all!<br />I recently went to a dry wedding (the couple was christian and didn’t really drink themselves and the reception was held on church grounds therefore no alcohol permitted) it really was one of the most beautiful weddings i’ve been to! <br />Don’t listen to those family members that disagree- if they want alcohol at their wedding fine! Your wedding, your decision.<br /><br />Plus being a daytime wedding makes it even more acceptable not to have alcohol!
I’m siiting here on wedding bee having a glass of wine, so it;s not that i’m not against providing alcohol! But I think that people will be there to celebrate you and your new husband and what they drink/eat shouldn’t really come into it. <br />At my friemds wedding that had some entertainment, indonesian rice ceremony, performances by frieds etc. and I didn’t miss having a drink at all.
If you’re really concerned about it another option could be to serve punch. Get a few bottles of champagne and mix with juice, fruit ice etc. Cheap for you fi, and an alcoholic alternative for those that would like to drink!
Post # 7
- Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY
A light cocktail would be nice. It just loosens people up. There’s always going to be temptation for recovering alcoholics that they have to deal with; that’s the naame of the game.
Post # 8
U will never be able to make everybody happy at the same time no matter what u do. Go with what feels right to u.
Post # 9
You can’t make everyone happy. If you want to have a dry wedding, then that is understandable. I would just make sure you have plenty of non alcoholic options free to the guests. If you want to do something special try a special mocktail, a smoothie bar, or a fresh juice bar. Particularly on a Sunday afternoon any of those would be great.
Post # 10
Have a dry wedding, serve non-alcoholic drinks, people don’t need alcohol to have fun.
Post # 11
You have very good reasons for wanting a dry wedding and it sucks that family members are picking on you for that. I think a light cocktail would be a nice thing to offer if you have it in the budget. This may also be a good situation for a cash bar – the people who want a drink will go and buy a drink, and non-drinkers won’t feel as tempted by the open bar.
Post # 12
ihearttj: Your plans are entirely appropriate. You are having an afernoon wedding–that’s not drinking time.
Have fun and enjoy your day!
Post # 13
I would say that given the history of substance abuse, it’s very reasonable to have a dry wedding, especially when you factor in that it will be in the afternoon. I would imagine that most of your friends and family should be able to respect that. People can go with out alcohol for one afternoon, good luck!
Post # 14
I would make a pretty signature drink without liquor, even someting fresh and fun like a strawberry lemonade with 7-up or someting to jazz it up. You don’t need to have liquor!!
Post # 15
If your worried about money, and you know that some guests want to drink, I suggest having a cash bar. At my wedding we didn’t want alcohol, but the hotel has a bar downstairs so guests will be able to go down and buy their own drinks. It works out for everyone in our case!