(Closed) Dude, I still don’t get why including the registry in the invite is tacky.

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1962 posts
Buzzing bee

It’s just an etiquette tradition.  Some people feel offended by the inclusion.  Others find it helpful.  You are never going to please everyone.  That being said, in my social circle, the registry info is usually included in the bridal shower invite (obvi not sent by the bride and groom).  You get your registry items at the shower.  People bring cash (not gifts) to the wedding.

Post # 4
Member
202 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I’m not sure we want to start this topic back up again….got pretty heated last time. 

Post # 5
Member
2790 posts
Sugar bee

So this thread is going to completely blow up and Lisa105 is going to come along and argue her point until the deaths and then the thread will need to be closed because no one can be civil.

If you would like to know what the big deal is go up to the search bar and type in “registry in invite” and that should show the polar opposite opinions people have on this subject.

Post # 6
Member
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@Aumuller:that’s the same thing i thought when i saw this thread…

Post # 7
Member
3762 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Its really up to you.  If you feel its ok with your group of friends/family then go for it!  Everyone is different and has to do what works for them! 

Post # 8
Member
3525 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Some people are going to call things tacky no matter what. The truth is, what’s acceptable in terms of etiquette really depends on your group of friends and family and what’s acceptable to them.

Post # 9
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

It turns into less about the wedding and more of a gift grab. 

Post # 10
Member
1317 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I think it depends on social circles. Personally, I don’t think it’s tacky – as a guest, I’ve always thought it was convenient to have. Though I’ve never added one of those little cards myself. 

I’m Asian and it’s customary to dish out cash at weddings and it’s common practice and knowledge. But stating that you EXPECT money on the actual invite is another thing – I think that’s tacky.

Post # 11
Member
6351 posts
Bee Keeper

To be honest, I know I received registry cards when each of my friends got married but I can’t for the life of me remember if they came with the wedding invite or the shower invite heck maybe even the bachelorette party invite!

Post # 12
Member
3525 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@HisIrishPrincess: This is what I don’t understand. The logical progression is this. Wedding => bring a gift, or at least a card to be polite. But if the bride and groom attempt to help their guests and make their lives easier by including a registry card, that’s somehow bad, no matter what? I don’t think it becomes a gift grab. It’s just helpful.

Post # 13
Member
714 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@LadyLuna711:  Your friend was correct.  Putting registry information in the invitation is rude and tacky because you are essentially stating an expectation for a gift and providing your shopping list unasked for.  Your friend was exactly right – if people want to know if you have a registry, they’ll ask. 

Its true that wedding gifts are customary but they’re not required.  Its true that some bridal couples expect their “guests” to reimburse them for the cost of their “hospitality” in the form of a gift.  Aside from being unfortunate and sad, its also quite rude and greedy.

Many (hopefully most) bridal couples are aware that their reception is their “thank you” to their guests and are not expecting repayment.  While I was aware that many of our guests would probably get us gifts, I can honestly say I wasn’t focused on them.  I was truly delighted by every gift and no, not everyone gave one and that’s okay too.  I didn’t invite my guests merely to extract cash or dry goods from them. 

I don’t think being “real” is admirable when it takes what is supposed to be a generous and affectionate gesture and turns in into a cold business transaction. 

Post # 14
Member
5273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

To me we live in a world of convience, therefore I don’t see the big deal to include it in the invite.

I do think the way to make it convenient is to include a link to a website vs. listing the registry in the invite. Keeps it easy for you and your guests.

Post # 15
Member
2714 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

You really just have to know your guests. Personally, I don’t think it’s a big deal and wouldn’t be offended if I received an invite with one. That being said, I have a lot of old school guests who would most deff be offended if I included the registry card and so, I won’t do it.

Just know your guests… if you know they won’t be offended then go for it! But if you have a family like I do, it would be best to just skip it.

Post # 16
Member
1928 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I think the way that Baileyh did it was perfect. She didn’t have registry cards but she had where they were registered printed very small on the invatation ( I believe it was the back) . I may be wrong and if I am I hope Baileyh pops in and tells us what she did.

The topic ‘Dude, I still don’t get why including the registry in the invite is tacky.’ is closed to new replies.

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