Post # 1
I’ve been considering getting a “dummy” ring to wear. Not so much for when traveling (I’d usually just wear my band for that) but because my job is fundraising for a non-profit and I think my e-ring might be too flashy. It’s definitely the flashiest ring in my office and my friend once told me that when I talk (I talk with my hands) all she can focus on is my ring because it’s so flashy and bling-y. (it’s not HUGE, it’s just a 3-stone ring with round diamonds so VERY sparkly). I just feel like with my career I should maybe wear something a little more understated, especially when attending certain events or speaking with certain groups of people.
Alternatively I could just start wearing the band once I’m married (in THREE WEEKS!) but I really like the look of an e-ring and a band.
Thoughts? Does anyone else feel like this with their job?
Post # 3
In my opinion I think you should be proud of what you have and wear it everyday. It shouldnt matter what your job is. If you still feel strongly then just wear your wedding band at work when you are married.
Post # 4
If it makes you uncomfortable, then I say go get a dummy ring. I am getting one so I can still wear a ring to the beach without being scared it will fall off (this happened to my aunt and she was devestated!)
Post # 5
Honesty is the best policy. Just be yourself, and that includes your ering. I never judge people for their rings. Any ring could be fake, or an heirloom, or who knows!
Post # 6
Having worked for a non profit, I totally get where you are coming from. I’m not sure if it will help but I recently found Swarowski has an almost exact replica of my ring and have been thinking about getting a replica for beach and other outdoorsy type vacations where I am nervous to lose my ring. I talked to DH about the idea, afraid he may be offended and he is absolutely encouraging that I get a dummy ring. If it makes you feel better and is not a large investment or offensive to your FI, I don’t see why you wouldn’t. Taking off your ring to flirt for work purposes would be a totally different story (not saying you do this, just giving a counter example) but just reducing its presence in order to not stand out makes sense to me.
Post # 7
I interned at a non-profit for a year, I was assinged to this agency through the master’s program I am attending and I could not pull myself to wear my engagement ring. It to sparkled with every ray of light that hit it. The concept of working for a non-profit (a facility established to help others) and wearing flashy jewelry or clothes did not sit well with me. We actually had a discussion of this during one of my classes, it is a hard choice, but you can only do what you feel is comfortable for you.
Post # 8
If you feel more comfortable with a dummy ring, I say go for it.
I’ve worked food service on and off since before I was engaged and since having my ering on I’ve often switched it out with a simple band that I usually wear on my right hand. Dummy rings in general are good when you go to the beach like most of the above bees have said.
It really ends up boiling down to what makes your more comfortable in the end.
Post # 9
I can see where you’re coming from with your line of work. Sometimes, certain things may feel sort of out of place or inapproprate for certain occasions, so if you feel that wearing a different ring would make you more comfortable, then go for it. I don’t think that makes you look ashamed of your ring or anything like that! Like cbee said, some people wouldn’t judge you for your ring, but sadly, many people may, so you have to do what makes you feel the most comfortable.
Post # 11
I’ve thought about it lately. I work with men who live in half way houses. While I trust none of them to steal from me, I would never “tempt” any of them too either.
Post # 12
@slicey19: & @msccr29: Thanks for your feedback! It’s nice to hear from others who work in the non-profit sector and kind of get where I’m coming from.
@Eight6Eleven: I completely agree that some people wouldn’t and shouldn’t judge me but others would and I just don’t want my sparkly ring to ever jeopardize a relationship with a donor. We always get sideways remarks as it is from people about how we can afford things since we work for a “charity”. So frustrating. People that work for “charities” need to support themselves too and be paid a liveable wage!
Post # 13
I hear you! I am in social work and have worked for nonprofits for years. I wear my engagement ring to work, but was definitely self conscious when I got it. I think you should do what makes you comfortable– so if that’s a dummy ring, then do it. What would it look like? Sounds like different from your e-ring, but still an e-ring rather than a plain band?
Post # 14
@Almost Mrs.P: I’m thinking of just getting a cheap solitaire dummy ring. There are some on etsy for like $30. I wouldn’t wear it into my day-to-day job, I would still wear my real e-ring for that, but sometimes I am making presentations to potential donors or attending events and I feel like my e-ring is too sparkly for those times and might give people the wrong impression. Then I would wear the more understated dummy ring. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE my e-ring, but people can be judgemental about stuff like that I think…
Post # 15
I say go for it. Being comfortable is the most important thing.
Post # 16
I never understood the point of a dummy ring.