- Circus Peanut
- 9 years ago
- Wedding: October 2010
So, I’m about four days into wedding planning and already having a minor meltdown…I hope this isn’t a bad sign.
I think I am cursed when it comes to wedding planners. First a friend of a friend was going to help, and then she literally finds out the next day that her hubby is being transferred and they are moving. Ok. Well, I do some research online and find The Wedding Planner Of My Dreams. She’s different in a good way, stylish, trendy, a tiny bit quirky, and all her events look like something from the pages of a bridal magazine.
I call her up. Her fee is almost $7000. You know what, I love her so much, I will make it happen. My budget is about $45,000 for 120 people (thanks to the extremely generous contributions of parents, FI’s parents, and both sets of grandparents!) She tells me she can work with me even though I have a ‘tight budget’. Ok, well…she’s used to working high end weddings maybe. I think it’s strange she’d say that but whatever.
She gives me the spiel about the fantastic wedding we are going to plan. Throws out creative and wonderful ideas and the vendors she has good relationships with. I am so excited I can barely breath. I tell her I will talk to my FI and she says to call her back tomorrow to make an appointment.
So, after I calm down a bit, I realize I forgot to ask her any real practical questions. For example, when chosing a venue, does she do some cost comparisons first to make sure we are getting the best deal? My FI and I have so much flexibility with our date that we can get a way better deal if the date is well-researched. Did she include her fee in our wedding budget, or is that extra? What exactly is included in her package? Etc.
So this morning I get an email that basically says, after she read my email, she decided we aren’t a good fit after all and she can’t work with me. She said maybe I could work with one of her employees. I emailed her, called, emailed the employee she recommended. No response.
I am feeling a bit devastated, and a bit panicky. I don’t know why, but this whole situation triggered this feeling of “What the heck am I doing? Have I lost my mind? I can’t do this, plan something like this in a big city on my own? No way!” Right now I want to go back to having my parents plan me a very standard reception in our small home town, or forgo a formal wedding and just have a dinner with friends.
I think the thing is this – as a new bride-to-be, you are a fish out of water. I’ve never planned a big event before. I call vendors and they use lingo I’m not familiar with. The costs are huge and an additional stress (although my family is contributing a lot I am also making a significant contribution.) I’m already worried that the wedding won’t be good enough, or fun enough, or whatever.
And then my wedding planner says she can’t work with me. I feel like a loser, like I must have done or said something wrong and I’m too clueless to know what it is.
Sorry, I just needed to vent that. I am going to take a few days off of wedding planning because right now I’m not in the right frame of mind to think about it logically.