Post # 1
So my FI and I have had a tough time finding a photographer we liked. We finally narrowed it down to two people that we met with over the past week. We liked both a lot, but the ones we met with yesterday we thought were our favourites. Everything was chugging along well, we asked to get some references and to see a full wedding and they got it to us right away last night. We had looked it over and were happy with what we saw.
Then this morning we got this email: “Unfortunately, (name) and I have discussed it further and feel that we are not the right fit for your wedding day vision, and as a result will not be able to capture your wedding day. ” and some other stuff thanking us for meeting them etc.
I’m honestly kind of shocked. I’m glad we have a second option lined up that we’re also happy with but I feel kind of hurt that these people didn’t want to work with us. I thought our meeting went well but they seemed surprised about our requests for references and a full wedding so maybe that was what caused it. But I thought those were normal requests??
Anyway, I’m not looking for advice because obviously we’re better off working with someone who actually seems excited to shoot our wedding! But has this ever happened to anyone else?
Post # 3
I would guess this happened because you asked for references.
Post # 4
@thunderberry: Has not happened to me (also in Nova Scotia by the way) however last week my hairdresser told me that she can tell which clients she wants to work with and which she doesn’t by their initial email or phone contact, and if often “booked” for those weekends. My florist has also been known to quote people very large amounts of money in the hope that they choose someone else, and if they don’t at least he’s being compensated for dealing with a PITA.
The fact is, if that photographer doesn’t feel that their style meshes with what you are looking for, it is a recipe for disappointment (for you) and heaches (for them, plus potentially a ruined reputation). Photographers are artists, and too many people expect them to try to mimic what they see on Pinterest as opposed to hiring someone whose work they like as it is.
Weddings (and brides) can be very tiresome for vendors to deal with. The expectations are already high, and for some people, they are unreasonable. If a vendor feels that they can’t meet your expectations (reasonable or not) they are doing both of you a favour. Try not to see it as rejection.
Post # 5
If this really happened because you asked them for references, they’re not the kind of business you want to work with anyway.
Post # 6
I’m sorry, that must be frustrating! It hasnt happened to us, but our photographers did mention that they often turn down weddings when they dont feel like they are the right ‘fit’ or dont connect with the bride & groom.
It does make sense, you want to be able to connect and interact with eachother on the day of the wedding or your photos end up all looking stiff and over posed, as opposed to natural and like you are enjoying yourself.
Post # 7
Some Bride and Grooms look for photographers that they “click” with for their day. Also, as a wedding photographer myself, we also have clients that we “click” with or don’t “click” with. I, for one, have turned down specific clients because I could tell in advance that they would be trouble, demanding. This is always a hard/personal decision for both parties. As a photographer myself, it’s a self owned business, I’m my own boss, so I can make the personal decision to take on a job or not. It’s not really the bride and grooms decision either. jmo from being in the business for 10 years.
Post # 8
@thunderberry: Truthfully, it’s not that uncommon. I’ve made the decision to dump couples before bc they are just too damn high-maintenance and with the amount of weddings we do each year we just don’t need the extra work and aggrivation. When you get to the end of a busy season the last thing you want to have to do is hand-hold a needy client that sucks up all of your time when you’re trying to meet deadlines and perform well for all of your clients. Also, when there is a lot of travel involved that can sometimes be a deciding factor.
That being said, stylistically I could also see declining to work with a couple if I felt I couldn’t deliver the type of images they were looking for.
I wouldn’t take it too personally though, it could honestly be for a number of different reasons.
Post # 9
@thunderberry: I feel like they should have at least called you or told you right then in person. I doubt there was any mulling over. Doing that over email just seems extra shady to me. But then, I hate doing buisness over email other than to have a paper record.
Post # 10
@cmbr: +1. i’m going to guess they didn’t appreciate having to put extra time/effort into your day before booking (or their references were going to tell you they were b*tches) which is a huge red flag to me.
i guarantee you’re better off. even if they wrote you that because they felt you didn’t mesh, you’re better off. don’t take it personally. your relationship with your photographer is very important, and you want to work with someone that WANTS to work with you.
Post # 11
@cmbr: +1. If you aren’t proud of your references or no one wants to speak on your behalf than I’d question your service level and business practices.
OP, I think you are better off. To answer your question, I have never heard of this happening before.
Post # 12
- Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI
Yikes, how weird. I haven’t had this happen exactly but my hair stylist told me she will NOT do my wedding hair. She hates doing updos! LOL. She said its too much pressure, she hates doing it and will gladly refer me to another stylist in the salon that loves updos. I guess I’m grateful for her honesty. She does an awesome job on my cut and color.
Post # 13
Did you discuss styles at all? Maybe they got the impression that you wanted one style of photography and they offered something different. Still, they should have told you that if that was the case. I spoke with a couple of photographers on the phone who told me they may not be the best fit because I said I wanted photojournalism and they specialized in something else.
Post # 14
Don’t feel bad at all. They probly feel like they don’t mesh with you as well as they would like for what they offer. Just be greatful they told you now and didn’t wait any longer. My photographer told me she is glad I asked for the date I did because someone else asked her but didn’t committ yet and she felt I was down to earth and the other lady would be trouble for being so over the top/dramatic. If I would have went to a high class/snotty photographer, she probly would have told me no because I am down to earth not high class. So it is just a matter of finding a good fit.
Post # 15
It could be style, maybe communication, maybe the references, maybe something else. A lot of times I can tell through the inquiry process if a client and I are going to see head to head on things, and if they show me styles of photos they like and it’s not anywhere in my portfolio, I do tell them that I can’t give them what they want. While I haven’t necessarily dumped anyone, I have been less than enthusiastic in pursuing inquiries that I don’t think are the right fit in the hopes that the clients will self select themselves out (it usually happens). The photographer did what was right – you don’t want to be stuck in a bad working relationship and you want to be with a photographer who’s excited to photograph your wedding.