DW Guests

posted 3 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 3
Member
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

Ohhh, I can see how this would get very dicey. Just reading your post made me start thinking…”Man it would be so awesome to go to Hawaii…..”

Not to joke, but really, you have chosen an irrisistable location!

Post # 5
Member
62 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@Grossern:  I am having the same issue! several people started booking their hotel for our DW with their kids, who were not invited. What was supposed to be a 40 person wedding has turned into 60! 

Post # 6
Member
451 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

A very close friend of mine moved to London after college and met her now DH there. When they decided to get married, in London, she invited my parents (as her parents and my parentshave  been the best of friends for most of our lives). she did not invite my 3 siblings. My parents made this DW a family vacation but never assumed my 3 siblings would have an invitation to the wedding extended yo them. So similiar situation but a little different. Based on that experience and understanding how a family could want to use your DW as a family vacation, I would simply tell them that you “think it is wonderful they will be able to enjoy time in Hawaii as a family; however, due to the intimate size of the wedding ceremony and reception, you will only be able to have the parents attend. Do they think their hotel will be able to help with child care or have they thought of activities yo keep their kids busy while the patents are occupied?” And wait for them to respond to those last questins. ypu may want to contact the hotels about child care or activities for older children so you could provide it to the parents at that time. 

 

Post # 7
Member
401 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@Grossern: Can you hire a babysitter to watch all of the kids at the hotel? I generally find it annoying when people assume that their kids are invited to weddings. That said, Hawaii is really far, so attending your wedding will likely be the major annual vacation for most of your guests, and they may not come if their kids aren’t invited. If you don’t care if they show up, say that it’s adults only, and if they don’t want to come without their kids, they won’t.

I’m having a 30-person DW, and we only invited immediate family. A few of our friends have kids, and I went ahead and invited them, even though I’m not excited about it. I figured that they won’t come if they can’t bring them (their kids are all under 3, so it’s hard for them to leave them for 3+ days).

Post # 8
Member
41 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@Grossern:  We invited everyone we could think of for our DW. However, most people, especially those with kids, said no they wouldn’t come because of the cost of all the airfare and hotel. Ours is a week mind you and during an expensive time, but still once they see the price they may just change their minds. I agree with who said that you should just tell them its adults only. I mean if they have a 16 or 17 year old child then that’s different because even I would consider them an adult who could sit still during the ceremony etc. but not a 10 or 11 year old.

I have 1 child attending my wedding, and she’s coming as my flower girl so it changes things, but her mom and dad chose to leave her 3 year old sister at home with another family member.

 

Post # 9
Member
7279 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would also think what people say vs what they do is completely different. You’re a year and half out. I’d bet that a number of the people claiming they will come, won’t. 

 

Post # 10
Hostess
2920 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@bklynbridetobe:  +1! I had a ton of people say….omg I’m TOTALLY going to Cabo but when it actually comes time to book the plane ticket, they think twice.  I wouldn’t worry about it!

Post # 11
Member
41 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@Lily_of_the_valley:  Totally agree! Originally we had like 60+ people who were going to come and then that got cut to 30 and then got cut to 25+1 child. It will change when they see the price and start adding up how much it would be for a family of 4 or 5 to go there.

Post # 12
Member
1410 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@Grossern:  We had a DW. Several of DH’s friends had little (under 2yo) kids. We wound up extending the invite to them for a couple of reasons.

1) It was in Vegas and we most certainly considered it to be a vacation for many of our family/friends.

2) Given the age of the kids, there was no way they would come if the kids weren’t invited. 

Even though #2 was a big one for us, his friends still did NOT come to the wedding. 1 couple found out they were expecting (she was 4 months at time of wedding) and the other just couldn’t afford it…I mean they have kids so they’d rather spend their money on them than us which is fine!

Then of course b/c it was a DW, we had to deal with numerous phone calls/emails asking us to have a second wedding in DH’s hometown as it was more convenient. About 50% of our guests asked us to change the location btw.

@bklynbridetobe:  +1. We had TONS of DH’s family/friends saying they wouldn’t miss it for the world. Then apparently something happened with the economy and nobody had money. 

Post # 14
Member
31 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Hello, although my big day has not yet been … we have had this too, however we have encouraged it.

 

I am from Australia, our wedding is in Phuket (a minimum 6 hour drive and 6 hour flight) for guests. We originally chose an DW so far away to keep the numbers down, however as we gave ample notice, everyone is excited for a holiday and those with family have marked it their family holiday.

 

All of our guests have been more than understanding when we have stated that it is a kid free event. The Kids (ranging from 2 to 17) are more than welcome at the ceremony but unfortunately cannot attend the reception.

 

This hasnt been as issue as the reception only goes for 5 hours, is at the same resort most are staying and the resort offers babysitting services.

 

 

Post # 13
Member
31 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Hello, although my big day has not yet been … we have had this too, however we have encouraged it.

 

I am from Australia, our wedding is in Phuket (a minimum 6 hour drive and 6 hour flight) for guests. We originally chose an DW so far away to keep the numbers down, however as we gave ample notice, everyone is excited for a holiday and those with family have marked it their family holiday.

 

All of our guests have been more than understanding when we have stated that it is a kid free event. The Kids (ranging from 2 to 17) are more than welcome at the ceremony but unfortunately cannot attend the reception.

 

This hasnt been as issue as the reception only goes for 5 hours, is at the same resort most are staying and the resort offers babysitting services.

 

 

Post # 15
Member
785 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

@Grossern:  I’m having the same issues! I reallly want to keep our numbers down. Our guestlist for a local wedding would be 120ppl or more. Our guestlist for a destination wedding is at 65, though I know for a fact 20 of those people won’t actually come, due to financial reasons… we are okay with that of course. I called my mom yesterday and asked for an address, then she asked who were inviting, she freaked out because her sisters aren’t invited. These are people I don’t talk to or see everyday, month, or year. They live across the country. None of our relatives there congratulated me or FI on our engagement. One of my aunts is a travel agent and tends to invite all her mother effing friends and kids and their kids. I really don’t want a 60-80 person wedding like my sisters had with randoms.

Good luck! Hopefully we can do this without causing too much drama.

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