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I say cancel the candy bar and use that money for your other party. It's a lovely (we're having one too) but ultimately unneccesary expense and that money can be better spend on food and drink.
Also, since your party is from 3pm-7pm, I don't think you need tons of food since it's after lunch and before dinner, people have the chance to eat a full meal on either side of your event so desserts and apps should be all you need.
Good luck!
First, I don't like at home receptions when you have a DW wedding - I feel like that is something you give up with you have a DW and kind of comes off as gift-grabby. Why not call it a welcome home party where no gifts are involved and no wedding related stuff is involved?
However, if you insist on having a reception, I think doing it on Sunday is going to seriously limit your guest list with other guests besides his friends due to people having to go to work the next day, etc. Can his friends take off one Saturday to attend?
And why the crap is your candy bar almost $900?? I would completely NOT have a candy bar if it cost that much. That is a total waste in my opinion. Spend the valuable money elsewhere (i.e. food). Is your guest list full of drinkers? If not then I would spend more on food than drinks, especially considering the time of day.
In our extended family, having a party back home is seen as a kind and thoughtful way to celebrate the special occasion without having everyone buy plane tickets. Also, since there is no ceremony that day, no one is obligated to buy a gift, so I don't think it's gift-grabby either.
I'd say get rid of the candy buffet. Food and drink are more important than anything else in my eyes for a satisfying party.
My family is more into food and around here cash bars are the norm so i say go for good food!
And i am doing a DW & hometown reception so obvs i love that idea!
What kind of reception were you thinkin gof having back in Louisville? Would it be appetizers and drinks or are you think of making the food yourselves?
Definitely nix the candy buffet. Do you think that you can accomodate food and drinks for 200 people at only $2900 - $3500? I'm not sure what pricing is like in Louisville but to have something catered for that many people would probably cost more than that. You could feasibly do some sort of bbq get together (which you could prepare on your own w/the help of your family) and make it work. You can also try to cut the number of people on your guest list to help make this budget as well.
@laydox: Thanks for the advice! I have definitely decided to cancel the candy buffet after calling the vendors where I purchased the jars/ scoops and finding out they are return-able. I plan to do apps and cake. How many apps and how many pieces per person should I plan for?
@shaydenise: We are not gift-grabby people and have made it quite clear that we do not expect gifts at this party... which we have called a "celebration" instead of a reception to ensure that people know what is and is not expected. While you are entitled to your opinion, and I did ask for help, I did not expect such a negative tone in a response. Your entire response is kind of condescending, save for the very last sentence. Perhaps you should have kept to just that.
Having said that... Candy is expensive. As are the jars, scoops, boxes, and tags required to complete the candy buffet. A candy buffet for 200- 250 is expected to cost this much as far as my research and pricing had shown.
@Michelleez: Thanks! Congratulations on your DW AND your home reception! I think it's important to celebrate with everyone, even if you are limited in the number of guests at the actual wedding. :)
@Bunny22: Like laydox said, since we're having the party right between lunch and dinner, we plan to serve only appetizers and can definitely accomplish that within the price range after canceling the candy buffet.
Thank you everybody!
@ Vonnegurl: I completely agree with your response! Thank you!
I agree that food & drink should take priority over candy bar (though they are fun!). As far prioritizing food or drink, ideally of course open bar and plenty of food, but since everyone eats and not everyone drinks, I would say guarantee there is enough food before booze. Maybe with your candy bar savings you can make it all work. Sounds fun!!
PS - hometown receptions/celebrations are NOT gift-grabby, they are totally fun
What do you all think about having a cap on alcohol so that we can offer out guests some paid drinks without breaking the bank? Maybe tell the bartender that we'll pay for the first $1,000 - $1,500 worth of drinks, then switch to a cash bar?
I think that's a good idea -- basically, any free drinks are better than no free drinks! It's a great way to get the party started. The only problem with that set-up is that guests would have no clue as to when it would switch to cash bar & they might be caught off guard (a money cap isn't exactly something that is easy to announce). A lot of people have an open bar for a set amount of time and announce the timeframe to guests. You can figure out an estimation of what the bar tab would be for different lengths of time, what you can afford, and just set it up that. Seems like that would be a good way to give your guests some free drinks, stay within your budget, and let your guests know what the score is as far as what they'll have to pay for. For example, first two hours open bar, then cash bar after that.
@Marinara: How many drinks per hour would you budget? I like that idea... I'm just worried about a few greedy guests hoarding multiple drinks to save for later. I don't want to seem cheap, but this is expensive stuff!
I would definately cancel the candy bar if you're spending that much on it. Since you're doing it as a later sunday reception, you could consider setting it up as heavy hors d'ourvres set up at stations (fruit/fountain station- which would be a cool alternative to the candy bar, sandwich station, chilled shrimp station, meat and cheese station, etc) Guests would have a lot to choose from, it would cut down on cost per plate and you would be able to do lots of different kinds of foods and also pay for the liquor, which is unusual for people to have to pay for the beer.
I think you should just get some kegs of beer and bottles of wine. Maybe do a specialty drink that is self-serve, so you don't have to have a bar tender. I don't think you need to do a full bar.
I also want to say that if something was scheduled from 3-7, I'd expect to eat a meal unless it was specified only snacks would be served. So make sure you have enough food, or specify. But be careful because aps and hors douevres can be really expensive! You should definitely at least get a quote for a meal to compare.
So I guess I'm voting for spend some money on a limited amount of inexpensive alcohol, and make sure to have enough food :)
What type of venue is it? What overall feel are you going for?
I think you should talk to your venue to get a good idea of budgeting for the open bar. I'm no expert, but I would start by estimating one drink per hour per guest, and about half of them beer. So if you have 100 guests and 2 hours open bar, that would be 100 cocktails/wine, and 100 beers. You mentioned that a lot of your guests don't drink, so this seems like a safe estimation (since some people who do drink will have more than one per hour). You're right about people hoarding/wasting free drinks -- but I guess that just goes with the territory of providing an open bar for guests. To be on the extra safe side, you might want to come up with your estimation, then multiply by 1.25 just to try to account for the wasting/hoarding. Also, there is this thread:
http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/budget-planning-for-open-bar-tipsadvice
Does your venue allow you to bring in outside alcohol? That would be ideal! :)
@Jacqi: The major problem with the situation is that th venue does't offer any discounts on beer... even if we pay for it the price is normal retail - $3.50 - $3.75 per bottle. It's absurd! No kegs, no other options. They do offer a small discount on wine (as it is a winery) of 1 bottle for every case of 12 purchased, but it still comes out to cost quite a lot.
Also, the invitation simply states that it is a celebration that begins at 3pm. The event space is pretty and contemporary with a casual feel.. exactly what we're going for! The invitations are casual and fun and the idea is not to have a stuffy reception but just a party with all the people who couldn't be there for the wedding!
@Marina: I like your estimation, thanks for all of your help! And thanks for the thread! Oh, and believe me, I TRIED to bring in my own alcohol... they won't let me. :(
What about if you gave each guest 1-2 drink tickets. I saw someone else doing that and i think its a really good ideal that way everyone gets equal chance at the free drinks!
I hear you on the expensive beer thing my venue charges $5.25-5.75 for beer & $8 for a drink!
@Mishelleez: O.M.G.... $8.00 for one drink? Wow... that's insane. I guess that's the difference between the South and Northeast. :) I just feel like so many people are super against cash bars - "that's so unacceptable" and "It's like inviting someone over to your home and asking them to pay for their beverage" are just a few of the things I've heard. I can't afford it, but I dont' feel like that means I should have to have a dry party? That's NOT happening, lol.
FI and I have kicked around the drink ticket idea and I think it would work. We also talked about offering "discounted drinks" by telling the bar that we'll pay a certain dollar amount for each drink. We also discussed paying for non-alcoholic beverages for sure and then having a small amount allocated towards alcoholic beverages.
There are so many options and, although none of them is as guest-friendly as an open bar, we must choose one soon!
Ahhhh!
Are you planning on serving liquor too? I read your post regarding beer & wine, so I'm not sure if thats all your planning on having (which is what I would suggest b/c liquor goes down fast & really adds up)
Also, since its at 3, ppl won't be that hungry, esp since its a Sunday, most ppl eat a late breakfast/brunch/lunch, so I betcha that most ppl will prob eat right before they come. With this in mind, you can limit the apps and spend more on the booze.
And, I have actaully been to two receptions that were DWs and both were on Sundays, and both were apps and drinks. They were casual & fun, and a nice little sunday excursion!
I totally dont agree when people say that. I think comments like that are very RUDE. Everytime we have people over or go anywhere we byob or bring a bottle for everyone to share and everyone else always does the same. No one ever says ohh BTW its byob its just assumed. I would NEVER go anywhere and expect my booze paid for (well i do expect my FI to pay but thats his job :)
IF i were living somewhere were open bars were the norm and the couple couldnt afford it i would much rather pay for my own drinks then have a dry wedding. Dry weddings are no fun!
I like the "disscounted" drink idea better then putting a cap on the open bar. Because of the people who might know and get extra drinks early and the people who might not drink until after dinner and they could miss out.
I always wonder who says wedding planning is fun! It is certinly not fun!
@AnnieAAA: Thanks! What were those two receptions like? Did they offer an open bar and did a lot of people drink alcohol? How many apps did they do? Sorry, you're the first person to say they've been to one like mine and I'm very curious! ;)
@Michelleez: Thanks! I feel the same way about the bar - I don't think it's rude and I'd rather have the option of buying a drink than a dry wedding.
Since the party is casual and the RSVPs are by phone or email, I was thinking of having my dad reply to each one with "Thanks! We look forward to seeing you June 27th. In the meantime, check out the Bride & Groom's website at ...." and then listing something on there about the bar situation. I don't want to blindside anyone!
I'm in the "cancel the candy bar" camp and spend the money on food and alcohol - I think at that time, people are more likely to drink than eat - I'm not sure if this has been suggested, but maybe you can have free open bar for the first two hours, and then cash bar after?
Yep, both were open bar. One was full bar, and the other was beer & wine only. Both were mid-afternoon, and not many people chowed down.
At one they served steak & chicken skewers, I think ppl prob only had 2 skewers, maybe 3 at the most (I only had 1.) Then they also had an arrangement of dips, crackers, cheese, and fruit.
The other had a fajita bar (but it was like mini fajitas not a full out meal) I would say people ate more at this one then the other though.
All my friends are big drinkers, and at both I would say we each had an average of 5 drinks during a 3 hour period. Nobody got wasted at either event, because it wasn't that kind of party. In reality, more people wanted to drink then eat and I think majority just wanted to get a little buzz, and then most of us went for dinner afterwards :)
I don't know if you will find this helpful, but for my daughter's short wedding ceremony and basically a 5 hour reception held at a vineyard, we had 60 people. I bought 1 bottle of wine per adult, (and got use of the venue for free). We had a couple of people that either were totally not wine drinkers or were allergic to wine, so I asked if we could bring rum & coke for them I bought 2 jugs of spiced rum and either 6 or 8 two-liter bottles of Coke. (No Beer-I had that at home for before/after) I also bought a case of spring water, and 8 cartons of lemonade, and we had a full jug of Spiced Rum left and I think 40 bottles of wine left! So we gave them to family members for the holidays, and we still have plenty for picnics at the venue this summer! I hope this helps!
Yea Louisville!
I just wanted to shout out to another Louisville bride since it seems you might have figured out your solution. :)
I agree that the nixing the candy bar would save you some cash. You could just do an open bar for a certain period of time. A wedding I just recently went to put on their reception card "Reception following at ___, join us for dinner and dancing. An open bar will be provided from 4-6 (or whatever)" Including it on your site lets people know to bring cash if they want to continue drinking.
I don't really like the whole idea of people having to provide an open bar for the entire reception if they don't want to (of course we're doing a dry wedding for personal reasons - not monetary - so that's a whole different story).
OOOwwhh,
I like the skewers and fajita bar idea-or something like it. You don't want people to not have enough food, and be drinking-I would think! :)
@eriqua: We have also considered the 1-2 hour open bar but we just know that people are going to drink a TON in those two hours just so that it's free... and we all know what happens when people drink too quickly. :(
@AnnieAAA: I like the skewers idea! I planned to have fruit, cheese, and veggie options for sure and we talked about having a mini- deli sandwich bar with assorted meats, cheeses, and condiments. We have a lot of heavy drinking friends, that's why we know it's going to be too much for us to afford a full open bar. ;)
@rlsulli: Thanks for the advice! I definitely can't afford a bottle of wine per person with our guestlist, but that is a good idea!
@camrie: Yay! You're the first Louisville bride I've seen on here!! :) Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! Oh, and I saw your post with your dress... It's gorgeous on you!!
So, how do you all think the mini deli sandwich bar would go over on a Sunday afternoon? Should we skip that and offer something else like Annie's skewer idea?
@Future Mrs Croc: Thanks! And congrats to you as well...you're in the home stretch!
I think either sandwiches or skewers would work well. I really doubt people will eat a ton in the middle of the day - people will probably drink less as well since it's not a saturday evening wedding.
Seems like drink tickets are the best option for you since you're not sure how many drinks to plan for (althought the venue really should be able to help with this).
I don't really see a problem with providing guests a limited number of drinks, for those who say "it's like making someone pay for their drink at your house" - I'd say I'd offer my friend a drink or two but I certain hope my friends don't come to my house expecting to drink absolutely everything in my fridge.
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Bees, I really need your advice on this one...
We live in Louisville, Kentucky. Our wedding is in Florida and we've invited approximately 70 of our closest friends and family. Since we couldn't invite everyone that we'd like to celebrate with, we're having a reception/ party in Louisville the month following the wedding. The guestlist is around 200 people, including guests of guests and the party will take place on a Sunday, from 3pm - 7pm. (My soon-to-be-husband works at a Nightclub on Fri/ Sat and wants his friends that work with him to be able to attend, so we had to have it on a Sunday.) Some, but not all, of the guests are drinkers, but taking into considersation the time and day of the party....
Would you, if forced to choose, opt for more food rather than paying for beer & wine? Or would you have less food in order to provide alcoholic beverages for the guests?
The truth of the matter is this: We, after having paid for a wedding, honeymoon, and open bar reception in Florida, cannot afford to do the same in Louisville, especially for three times the number of guests.
I only have about $2,000, $2,500 maximum to spend on food/ drink.
OR I could cancel my candy buffet and save approximately $875 and put that towards the food/ drink bill?
HELP!!