e-ring etiquette?!?

posted 3 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
7997 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

I think it makes sense to use your mom’s ring, but if your SO is against it then I probably wouldn’t push it. I’d understand why he might feel a bit emasculated.. like what he can afford isn’t good enough for you. I’d want to do the same thing as you, honestly. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with doing this.

Post # 4
Member
1779 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 1997

@blushpink13:  I say use your moms fabulous diamond. I see nothing wrong with that. I would definitely want a diamond over a simulant in my engagement ring!. I would have another talk with him to see what his actual objections to this are.

best wishes

Post # 5
Member
559 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 1993

A lot of people pass down diamonds. It means a lot to the person passing it down and the person getting it.  I see no reason not to use your mothers stone. Let him know if it has sentimental value to you. That may help.  I would have loved to have my mothers diamond?  

Post # 6
Member
6507 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

My friend’s e-ring has her mom’s original diamond in it and I thought that was really neat and thoughtful. I would have loved to use a family diamond. I don’t think there is anything wrong with it. Have you asked why he is so against it? What would you do with it if you don’t use it for an e-ring?

Post # 7
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

If SO is uncomfortable with it, he’s uncomfortable with it. Which is silly, since you have an incredible stone you could use!

But for some men, it’s a sign of his ability to be a good provider/manly.

Post # 8
Member
3617 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2009

I would try to talk him into using it.  It is from your mom, and the sentiment there is lovely.

Post # 9
Member
1157 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@blushpink13:  It’s an heirloom!  I understand your SO wanting to pay for all of it himself but he needs to check his ego and listen to what you want.  I just don’t understand why he wouldn’t be on board with it if it’s what you want and it’s from family.

Post # 10
Member
280 posts
Helper bee

If you already own a beautiful diamond and can’t easily afford to buy another one, I would definitely use the one you have!

Post # 11
Member
2891 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@blushpink13:  Use the one you have! I would have loved to have a family diamond, but we didn’t have one for a variety of reasons. 

I can understand if he’s not into it, but perhaps see if there’s a similar 1ct diamond from his side of the family and put the two diamonds together with a center stone he buys as a trilogy ring? That way, it symbolizes combining your families into a new one. 

Just a brainstorm… I think it’s so cool to pass down jewelry and gems 🙂

Post # 12
Member
2100 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@blushpink13:  I don’t personally believe using your own diamond is ok b/c I’m kind of traditional and would want my own diamond, with a fresh start. However, some women really are ok and if it’s fine with SO, then go for it.

But this apparently bothers him, so I would not do it. If you love it, get it made into a necklace. Further, it wasn’t like (from what you have written) that this family stone has been in your family for ages and ever since you were a little girl you dreamed of this diamond in your e-ring. It sounds like you are desiring your specs and found a way to get them, so you are reasoning it out. 

And that is why I think it bugs your SO…but I’m just speculating. 

Post # 13
Member
879 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

@blushpink13:  It is definitely not ridiculous to use your mom’s diamond, but if your SO really doesn’t want to, you should probably just respect his wishes. That being said, perhaps he doesn’t realize that jewelry, diamonds, etc. often get past down from one generation to the next. You could tell him that having your mom’s diamond would mean a lot to you, if in fact it would, and that he could get you an amazing setting and wedding band.

Is that your mom’s ring in the photo? I’m not trying to be mean or anything, but it looks smaller than a 1 carat. Perhaps your ring size is bigger than I’m imagining though (you have very nice hands by the way!)…Either way, it’s a beautiful diamond.

 

 

 

Post # 14
Member
409 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@blushpink13:  I can understand why your fiance is against it, because your parents are divorced, he may view the diamond as tainted. No judgment here, my parents are also divorced and I think I’d feel the same way. 

Post # 15
Member
1883 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Your SO probably thinks the diamond is “tainted” as it’s been through a divorce, but the truth of the matter is that objects do not hold on to memories themselves…we assign them meaning. I think it would be kind of ridiculous to not use the stone as it would save y’all thousands of dollars, and it sounds like you love it. Ultimately it’s a decision you both have to agree to, but him thinking the stone (if that’s his problem) is going to make or break your marriage couldn’t be further from the truth. 

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