Post # 1
So, my boyfriend knows that I have wanted a very specific engagement ring. I want to design it myself. So… MONTHS ago he “jokingly” asked me to marry him (it was cute)… I feel he was testing me out to get my reaction… Long story short, we’ve known for a good long while that we are going to get married and start a family together. On our one year anniversary he took me out to dinner and said a bunch of sweet things, and that we should start the process of making my E-ring.
So, I’ve been very hands on this whole process. A week ago we both picked out and he purchased a diamond on Blue Nile, and it should arrive later this week. This past Saturday we met with a local jeweler and gave them the design of how I want the ring to look. While I definately asked my SO his thoughts on certain aspects of the ring, it was ultimately 100% my choice. There will be no surprise as to what my ring will look like. And I’m fine with this! He does plan on formally proposing (Once we give the final okay from the jeweler to go ahead and make the ring, I won’t know when the ring is picked up or anything) and he will formally (and unexpectedly) propose with my ring..
Your thoughts? Is this any less special than a ring that was picked out specially for me by him?
I’m receiving a lot of crap from some friends that it’s wrong for me to basically pick out my own engagement ring….
I’m the opposite of a traditional bride and I love being so hands on and creating this with him together.
Post # 3
- Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI
I picked out my e-ring and went with FI when he purchased it. It was still special! He loved seeing my face light up when I tried on the ring for the first time in the store. He knew then that putting down that kind of money was worth it and he didn’t have to have any worries about me loving my ring.
He still kept it a secret from me when he would be able to pick up the ring and proposed the day that he did which was a few days after we went to buy the ring.
My FBIL did the same thing with his FI. They started looking at rings together back in August. Once she decided on one he bought it, and then waited until a good moment to surprise her with a proposal. She was still surprised when he actually proposed (at the end of a 1/2 marathon) and he was able to know she would love the ring.
Post # 4
I picked my ring and even saw it before he propsed. It took nothing away from the proposal at all. My FI is very happy I have something I love.
Post # 5
I picked out my ering with my SO. I am doing the same as you– I won’t know when it’s picked up or the final look (I’ve tried on the setting but in yellow gold with my diamond resting on top) and he will still do a formal proposal (and I won’t know when or how, like you). I think that if you’re going to wear this ring forever and you’re going to spend (likely) thousands of dollars on this ring, then you should most definitely make sure it’s a ring you really love. Picking out your ring is the only way you can make sure you get the ring you really love that you’ll want to wear forever.
Although I did pick out my ering, I do sometimes wonder what my SO would’ve picked out had he picked a ring himself.
Post # 6
@paygeee: I agree completely! I’m so glad others feel the same way I do. He is making a big investment on my ring and ultimately he wants to to be happy!
My “friends” and I’m using this term loosely now, seem to think that it is being materialistic… My one friend said “I had no choice, nor wanted no choice in the ring, and I would LOVE ANYTHING he gave me”
I can’t be the only one who would (honestly!!) not love ANYTHING he gave me… Sorry, I have certain tastes and style, and to be very honest, my SO does NOT!! LOL (but I love him anyway)… my “friends” try to make me feel like I must not love my SO as much as they love theirs, since I wouldn’t be happy with ANYTHING he gave me
Post # 7
@Love_That_Never_Ends: That should read “I agree completely!” not a ?
I’m new around this site and have to get used to the layout!
Post # 8
@Love_That_Never_Ends: I don’t think your engagement ring is any less special because you picked it out! My FH made it abundantly clear to me that he preferred that I pick my ring so that I would end up with something I loved. We shopped together, and I always asked for his opinion, but ultimately, he just wanted me to be happy. I love my ring, and I love that we were open with each other about it throughout the shopping process. Don’t let the haters get you down!
Post # 9
@Love_That_Never_Ends: Your “friends” should go take a hike!
I’m currently in the process of picking out my own engagement ring as well. I love my SO to death but he told me himself that he can hardly tell a princess cut diamond from a round brilliant, all he sees is a bunch of shiny things! lol He’s so cute 🙂 But I digress.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with knowing what you want, IMO. I too have a very particular personal taste and style. And it has absolutely nothing to do with being materialistic! For my last birthday, my SO surprised me with a necklace that I was openly admiring a few days before – it cost less than 20 euros but I love it to death, it’s so me!
I don’t think picking out your own engagement ring makes it any less special, it’s just a way of making sure you will truly love your ring for the rest of your days.
Post # 10
Different strokes for different folks 🙂 If picking it out works for you, great.
FTR – I’m a girl who had NO say, at all, in my ring. It was a total surprise (and I adore it!)
Post # 11
@Love_That_Never_Ends: I chose the setting for my ring *and* we planned a joint proposal, so there was really no surprise aspect but I loved it just as much and we are just as much getting married 🙂 I am just a person who doesn’t care for surprises and that’s ok!! Cannot wait to see your custom ring. Post it when you officially get it!!
Post # 12
I gave my FI three possible rings that I had designed in different price ranges and let him pick. That way the one that I got was one that I had designed and loved, still be managed to surprise me by adding an inscription. I love the fact that I got to ‘make/design’ my own ring.
Post # 13
- Wedding: August 2015 - Backyard Forest
I’m kind of in the same boat as you, except I’ve been a little less involved (I showed him designs and took that design to a local store to be custom made, I got the quote, handed over to him, haven’t said a word since). At first I was super worried about it being less special because I was getting the same crap from my friends and family.
At the end of the day though, your proposal will still be a surprise and the ring on your finger will be something you and you SO created together! And you’ll love it as your forever ring.
My mom hated her engagement ring (her MIL picked it out) and hasn’t worn it for years (she now wears a ring from their 25th anniversary).
I am so happy my SO cares so much about me loving my ring that he got my input (I think my mom’s story scared him into asking me for input).
Post # 14
I had been hinting at styles of rings that I would like and was going to leave the decision up to him, but when I started eyeing gemstones instead of diamonds and fell in love with a particular colour of sapphire, my now FI wanted me to be involved in the purchase because he wanted to make sure that the colour was what I was looking for. I cannot tell you how exciting it was going with him to the jewerler to look at stones and talk about settings. It felt very special to be doing it together.
They did however, keep the final design hidden from me (i.e. I didn’t see the digital model or anything) and I didn’t know when it was going to be ready. I had a suspicion when he picked it up but then he held on to the ring for another month, so I was definitely suprised when he proposed.
And now I get to look at a ring that I love everyday! I love knowing that we were able to share that experience together and no matter what my friends and family say, it was and will always be special to me!
Post # 15
@Love_That_Never_Ends: I picked my own ring out, was there when it was purchased, knew when it was arrived and wore it around the house the day I got engaged. My husband still managed to surprise me with the proposal – I had no idea it was coming.
I don’t think it made it any less special. I’m so happy I got the exact ring I wanted and the process of ring shopping was so fun and a special time for my husband and I. We actually became very close friends with our salesperson throughout the process. Wouldn’t change a thing.
Post # 16
Heck NO is it any less special! If you want him to pick out a ring on his own then that is fine, if you don’t and you want something specific, that’s fine too! Your “friends” can shove it, your marriage isn’t any less “real” because you had a say in your ring, wtf!