Post # 1
So, awhile back my bf’s mother pulled me aside and asked me how I felt about me having her diamond from her recent ex-husband. At the time, I was excited to know that she loved me enough to want me in her family (as she is a protective mother hen) but now I’m having second thoughts.
I’m not a superstitious person to begin with, but when I talked to some of my friends about this, they all seem to have mixed feelings. My bf’s mother’s ex is a complete as*hole and the marriage ended as a result of an affair. Nonetheless, my friends seem to think that it’s a bad luck to receive the diamond.
What is the protocol for something like this?
Post # 3
- Wedding: October 2011 - Tre Bella, Mesa, AZ
If it was YOUR ex’s ring, I’d be iffy, but considering it is your FMILs, I actually think it’s ok if you and your Fiance are ok with it. If it’s a big diamond (like 1ct+), it would totally be worth it to have it re-set.
Post # 4
I was offered both my FMIL’s diamond and my grandmother’s diamond from their rings…I never thought of it as bad luck, I just didn’t want a diamond. I think it’s totally fine especially if money is an issue, it’s just a diamond, don’t let bad ju-ju hold you back. I mean, if you get a free diamond does that mean you get an extra week on your honey moon? =D Bad luck my foot!
Post # 5
It’s not bad luck. I would just have the diamond reset into a new ring. Then it’s all yours.
Post # 6
I don’t believe in luck or superstition. In fact, I kind of *like* doing things to deliberately taunt what others consider “bad luck.”
Post # 7
@murmur: I like the way you think! A vacation would be awesome right about now! We’d be saving so much $ that I think it’s def. worth it.
@bellagio: Yes, it’s a diamond definitely worth resetting IMO. I only hope my bf feels the same way. He doesn’t want ANYTHING from him.
Post # 8
Very few newly mined diamonds are truly “conflict free”. Unless you happened to kick over the stone from which you diamond was cut in your back yard, you’re being selective about which superstitious stuff will bug you anyway. It’s a stone that was around for many millions of years before she got it and will remain for as many after we’re gone. The human history of it is in our heads as much as the stone. If you love the look of it, I’d say forget about the ex, and minimize the impact of having a diamond. Or, you could ask her if she’d mind you trading it for another rock and still come out even.
Post # 9
Maybe trade it in when you buy your engagement ring?
My FI’s mother also offered us her engagement ring. Yes, it’s the ring from the marriage that produced my Fiance but her ex-husband abused her, and she left when he started in on the kids. It was not bad luck so much as I didn’t want to associate my ring/relationship in any way with that one. Luckily Fiance agreed with me, although I different reasons he never quite explained. (I think he didn’t want to take it from her, felt she had supported him already in many ways financially.) I would have been ok trading it in for a ring, but my Fiance didn’t want to, so we didn’t. How does your bf feel about this?
Post # 11
For me, if it was reset and made into my ring, I dont think I’d give it a second though about its history and MILs ex-husband. Esp if its a nice rock and could save a bundle… sure why not.
Post # 12
I think it’d be totally fine and I’d also be excited that she wants you in the family 🙂 Like the other bees have said, I’d just have it reset!
Post # 13
It personally wouldn’t bother me. The stone is not cursed and deserves a happy ending!
Post # 14
It’s a stone. There is no such thing in bad luck. 🙂
Post # 15
When you buy an antique or used ring, who knows what the story is behind it 🙂 Don’t let the little personal insight you have ruin a lovely blessing such as a family ring!
Post # 16
I like the idea of her wanting something good to come out of what happened to her marriage. It’s like a silver lining, you two can have a nice ring and save money to start your life together. It beats the ring sitting in her jewelry box, give the ring a second chance!