Post # 1
first hi everyone!
i got engaged on the 29th of june 2013 to my boyfriend of 5 years. we live together with my fiance’s mom and we haven’t lived together long but i only spent one night a week at home before so it didn’t really count.
secondly i was hoping for some advice, i got engaged last week (YAY!) and have already had some negativity due to my age, these people are not really fit to critisize but oh well, just wondering if anyone has any ways of dealing with this?
joint savings account? we currently live with my fiance’s mom but are looking at saving for a mortgage deposit instead of looking for rented accomadation. also all wedding money would go in this account so i would like to know what people think.
go for the rent or save for a mortgage?
my fiance’s family also have engagement parties, something ours has never done. anyone have experience on how to plan these?
also does anyone have any good links for eco friendly weddings as i am a nature nut and the last thing i want at my wedding is a biohazard to clean up as i won’t leave confetti to rot and i also dont want anything bad for wildlife.
thanks in advance and congrats to all the other happy couples on here! x
Post # 3
- Wedding: May 2014 - Smithfield Center
Hi! Congratulations and welcome to the bee!
In terms of the age criticizing, honestly, I’ve been there. There’s not much you can do. People are going to try and break you down and consistently tell you ‘it’s a mistake – you haven’t lived your life yet!’ and they don’t understand that the life YOU want is different than their expectations for society in their head. The best thing to do in your situation is to simply smile and say ‘thanks for the advice, I’ll keep that in mind’ and move on.
As for a joint savings account, I wouldn’t. Not until you’re married, at least. I would just have both of you start putting money aside in each of your individual savings accounts. You can still put it ‘together’ once you get enough. That way you both still have some control over it. Also, I agree with the saving for a deposit on a house versus getting an apartment/etc. to rent. FI and I are doing that because we don’t want to get stuck some place and always rent because we can’t come up with enough money to buy.
If FI’s family is used to throwing them, then I would let one of his relatives throw the party for you. The way they work is generally like a birthday party – it’s mostly family that attends with a few family friends or friends of the bride and groom. It’s mainly used for families to get to know each other before the wedding events happen so it’s not as awkward.
Here are some links for eco-friendly wedding ideas:
Also, you can find some cool eco-friendly things on Etsy by doing a search for various items. For example, we’re getting some cute plantable paper hearts from an Etsy shop and using them as favors for our engagement party. You could probably use them for confetti too if you wanted.
Hope that I helped!
Post # 4
Congrats and welcome to the Bee! I’d ignore the people who say you’re too young unless they have a good reason to say so. Saying you’re too young without anything to back up such claims is pointless in my opinion. With that said, I think a joint account can be a good idea. My FI and I have had one since I moved in with him 2 years ago. We used it to save for our apartment deposit first, and now we use it to pay rent together and to save up for our wedding and future house. We still have our own separate accounts as well for personal savings and spending money, so it’s a nice compromise. And I’d definitely rent short term unless you plan to stay with your future inlaws for small frame of time.
I love my inlaws, but after two months I was ready to leave. I still remember the first day we moved into our apartment together and it was soo nice to have that feeling of us having our own space and privacy. So I feel it’s definitely worth it.