Post # 1
I developed hormonal problems when I was younger and gained weight as a result. I went from doctor to doctor looking for help, but nobody knew what was wrong with me as my weight crept up and up. I then started strictly dieting and this lead to a full blown eating disorder. I literally had no life and basically missed a lot of my twenties. Then, I was finally diagnosed and treated for the hormone stuff, and my ED ended in a near death experience. So I sought out an ED therapist, began to eat properly again and finally got the hormones I needed.
At the present time, I am now only about 8lbs away from where I was before my endocrine system went crazy. I was always slim before the hormonal hell.
We got engaged in 2011, but only set the date in September due to my anxiety about the wedding. I feel better now that I am nearly back to my normal weight, but still I worry.
The wedding is booked for October 2013 and I know I need to start looking for dresses in January, but I am DREADING it. Everyone says wedding dresses are sized smaller, so I am worried about having to wear a dress two sizes bigger than normal. Plus, I have big boobs and an hourglass figure so I worry about finding a dress to work for that AND apparently they will size for my boobs so the size will be *even* bigger (probably like 3 times bigger than my usual size)!!
Throughout my ED days I *never* let anyone take *any* full length pics of me and I learned to pose a particular way to look less fat. However, on the wedding day everyone will be taking unposed pics of me and they will be full length. I still think I look FAT in pics now even though I am a US size 10 (will hopefully be an 8 by my wedding day if I get back to my pre hormone hell weight). Not exactly obese!
So I am really worried about people taking pics and then me feeling awful when they are posted on FB. I am also worried about people taking photos of me for their own perusal. I still don’t like people taking my photo. And, I am *dreading* wedding dress shopping.
Any former eating disorder folk going or have gone through this? I feel so alone.
Post # 3
First of all *big hugs* Keep seeing your therapist and talking through this anxiety! Working through this will help you on the road to recovery. In terms of pictures, feel comfortable setting limits that you are comfortable with. Go try on dresses alone or with people you feel very safe with. Don’t let them pictures when you are trying on dresses. While people will probably take pictures at your wedding, you can even block pictures on your FB so they are all private and no one can see them if that worries you. But really, focus on feeling beautiful in your own skin, just the way you are, because that is the why your FI is marrying you! Good luck and hope this helps!
Post # 4
ps. I noticed no one else is responding but I promise you aren’t alone xoxo
Post # 5
I had an ED – ana b – my weight was no big deal on my wedding day and I’ve fully recovered – they talked me into buying a dress 2 sizes bigger then my street size they altered it Down sizes and it still was to big you can tell in my pictures they blamed it on my chest but I’m only a large b tiny cup so they are full of it – find a dress that flatters you eat healthy and exercis- you will get through it !!! You will look beautiful too ! Pvm if you need
Post # 6
@Bainise2013: I completely understand. I had undiagnosed celiac disease that was combined with jerk boyfriends and resulted in some unhealthy eating. I am better now that the medical profession realized that the problem wasn’t in my head, it was in my intestines.
In shopping for a dress, I have no idea what size they ordered for me– I didn’t ask and they never said. I also chose to suround myself with people who were honest, without being judgemental or cruel. My bridesmaid never said “you look fat in that dress”, but would say “no”. They were also honest when I did find the dress.
As far as photos, there is really no way out of it without looking like a giant bitch. Trust me– I’ve tried. If you want to take that risk, do an unplugged wedding and severly limit professional photos. We’ve given our families each 15 minutes for photos.
One other thing you can do is talk through your fears. You will be stunning and physically healthy on your wedding day. If you can get their mentally (just as hard as physically), it would be the greatest wedding gift. Everyone will tell you that you are beautiful, and I am sure you will be, but you need to be able to believe them. It is hard and sometimes takes some help, but it will make the day even more special.
Best of luck!
Post # 7
Congrats on your engagement and on getting your ED under control. I know from experience how hard it is to face clothing sizes after surviving an ED. Somehow you need to convince yourself that size number on a wedding dress doesn’t mean anything. I’m not saying it will be easy, but you really need to try. And when you get your dress, cut the size out, so you don’t have to have it staring at you. Remember, wedding dresses are not real life.
I’ve never understood why wedding dress designers don’t go by street sizes. The way they size dresses seems counter productive… every bride wants to feel good about herself on her wedding day, and designers do not make brides feel good about themselves when they put the number 12 as the dress size in a dress that would be an 8 if it weren’t a wedding dress.
Post # 8
I am no longer seeing my therapist as I got cut to part time hours in my job and do not have the $$. Also, I am much better than I used to be in that I eat normally now and only think about food in terms of meal planning, cooking or shopping.
I do believe that seeing the ED therapist would really help me, but there doesn’t seem to be any free therapy available. 🙁
I plan on only dress shopping with very close friends, yep.
How do I block pics that other people put on FB? I know I can put my own photos on private, but I didn’t know that I could block pics other people put on my wall?
Honestly, I am not worried about DF. I know he adores me. I am more worried about other people. Especially since most of my in laws are very nasty and the type of people to comment on other people’s looks.
Man that sucks about your dress. Why would they put you in such a big dress!? Did wedding planning trigger you in any way
I may take a leaf out of your book and not ask for the size of the dress.
What is an unplugged wedding? It’s not the professional photos I am worried about, it’s the unflattering photos taken by the guests that worry me. 🙁
Good idea about cutting the size out! I don’t understand why dress designers do that either – shouldn’t they want to make women feel slimmer, not heavier!!?
Post # 9
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
@Bainise2013: hey lady! Here’s a link to how you do the approving pictures of yourself on facebook. https://www.facebook.com/help/463455293673370/ It won’t literally block other people from putting up pictures of you, but it WILL require your approval before you get tagged in any pictures.
Also I agree, you should google the unplugged wedding thing. It might be a good option if you think your guests wouldn’t be too upset. Or you could at least ask your guests not to post pictures of you online. (You could use the excuse that you want your wedding pix “revealed” by the official photographer, etc.)
Post # 10
@Bainise2013: It is where you ask guests not to photograph your wedding, but instead to sit back and enjoy the day. I love the idea, but not the names I would be called if I did it. This explains both sides: http://www.heartloveweddings.com/2012/09/the-unplugged-wedding/
Post # 11
Since I had to wear and eat to try and fill in my dress and kept loosing and loosing weight from stress no – I fit back I to my size one jeans and was just like ugh I hate this ! My Ed I don’t think was so much about weight but about hurting myself – I had. Major sI issue so I just don’t know beacuse my wedding triggered all that stuff –
Post # 12
Hope nobody minds me posting here again. I’ve been thinking about the unplugged wedding and I’d like it. However I know that would probably make people talk even more and I’d hate that. I already feel so self conscious. I just feel like that would draw even more attention to how much I dislike myself in photos. 🙁
I have to start dress shopping in January and I amd dreading it. Someone recently posted some pics on FB of me at a partyand I looked so awful. I don’t understand; I look nice in real life yet unless I pose in photos I look awful.
I am thinking I might ban camera in the chruch, as I could get away with that maybe. Not sure about at the reception though…