Post # 1
When I was in high school and college, I struggled with bulimia and body image issues. I have done well for the past few years, but trying on dresses and preparing for a wedding has definitely brought my weight back to the forefront of my mind.
I didn’t eat lunch because work was insane today, and I’m ashamed to say I ate an entire frozen pizza by myself for dinner because I was sooo crazy hungry. It crossed my mind tonight for the first time in years that I should throw up… proud to say I didn’t do it, but those thoughts seem to be more frequent with the wedding coming up.
Any other girls who have struggled with EDs having some issues with their weddings coming up?
*Please don’t criticize me and tell me I’m stupid for posting this… I simply am looking to find other women who have dealt with the same issues I have to offer and gain support.
Post # 3
I just want to say (((Hugs))) to you and good for you for resisting the urge to slip.
I definitely have some “disordered eating” tendencies.
Mainly binging and emotional eating.
I’ve taken control of my eating by tracking everything and monitoring my calorie intake and just tracking it and seeing it makes me feel more in control.
Food carries way too much emotional weight for me. It is very hard for me to look at it as purely sustenance.
Can you plan your days of eating in advance or bring food to work just in case you get “too busy” to eat and that way you can snack on something (like nuts or yogurt or string cheese) so you can keep your hunger at bay and avoid the binging and purging?
Post # 4
You are so not stupid! ED are nothing like that at all.. That’s so AWESOME that you didn’t give in to your urge! YaY!
You are beautiful and I’m sure that your FH knows that too… now just let yourself know that, over and over and over.
Does your FH know about your history? I would probably take the steps to open that convo up or back up since the urges are starting to show themselves again… My DH is my BEST accountability partner for things that I’ve struggled with in the past and same visa versa.
Let him affirm his love and acceptance of you! And just know that every bride concerns herself with the wedding day look so don’t ever make yourself feel like it’s trivial or dumb.
Praying that Jesus’ awesome love would totally FILL you heart, mind, and spirit and that it would strengthen you in being the best healthy you you can be. That you would have all the support you need to feel encouraged in your time of planning and that this time would just grow you more into the awesome you God made you to be!!!! In Jesus’ mighty name! =D
Post # 5
@KatNYC2011: I actually do that… normally I eat little things throughout the day, but one of my coworkers had to leave early and everything that could possibly go wrong did at work today. Hence the lack of lunch. 🙂 That method has helped me so much; I can’t do that whole “I’ll wait all day before a yummy dinner” thing, and it’s something I’ve just had to realize about myself.
Post # 6
@runsyellowlites: Thanks, girl! FH knows virtually everything about me, including this dark part of my history. He is a wonderful support system for me.
Like I said, I haven’t thrown up in a few years… I guess I was just venting that the feelings have come back largely due to the desire to look great on the big day. Just wondering if any other brides have those ugly old demons rearing their head in their lives!
Post # 7
@brideatbeach: right there with you, see my thread I started a few weeks ago, I received a lot of good advice that came out of starting that thread. I haven’t uncontrollably binged in over 1 month.
I don’t know if this will work:
Post # 8
@brideatbeach: I’m so sorry about your rough day 🙁
I don’t have any experience with eating disorders but I do have several people who are close to me that suffer alcohol and drug addictions – it sounds to me like what you go through is exactly like a threatened relapse to an addict. When people have the urge to drink or take drugs they call their sponsor or go to a meeting as quickly as they can.
Have you got anyone who was with you during your struggles that could act as a sponsor for you? Talk you down from your urges or at least stay on the phone with you/be with you til the urge passes? Also I’m thinking it may be an idea to see a therapist that specialises in eating disorders in the lead up to your wedding. Talking through your emotions might help to avoid the urges.
Best of luck to you – I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. Please come talk about it on the bee whenever you want – esp. late at night, i’m in australia so i’m always up when other people are asleep! xxxx
Post # 9
I think realizing what how you’re feeling and what sort of thoughts you’re thinking is so important. I really don’t have much advice. Only that if you ever feel overwhelmed, talk. Talk to your doctor, counselor, join a support group.
Post # 10
As a woman that struggled with EDs in my past as well I can tell you honestly how proud I am that you resisted that urge. 🙂
Post # 11
@beekiss: I’m honestly not asking for advice. Just interested in knowing how many Bees have dealt with this, too, and seeking a little niche in our Weddingbee community. 🙂
I do have a “support sister” I talk to when things get rough, and my family and friends know about my issues in the past and are an absolutely amazing support system. I’m honestly not that worried about relapsing; those feelings never completely go away. One just learns to deal with them.
Post # 12
I didn’t have ED issues but I DEFINITELY had intimacy issues start trying to come up back in my thoughts and heart through our engagement.
I was seriously damaged by my ex-husband and then just continued in that lifestyle until I was just so broken…. I took alot of time to let God heal my heart before dating or even considering the seriousness of marriage.
As we started our premarital counseling alot of those things starting coming back up though. DH was so great and is so great in how he loves me and believe you me I spent alot of time in prayer. lol
I think that we get so jacked up by things that happen to us or we do to ourselves that something… whatever it may be for us personally.. starts to rear it’s ugly head when marriage is around the bend…
Just keep your heart strong and keep open with you FH and I’ll keep you in my prayers! You ARE and WILL continue to be victorious over this!!!!!! YAYA!
Post # 13
@brideatbeach: Definitely deal with it. I have disordered eating. I tend to stop eating much after I get above a size 8 until I’m back to a size 8 or below. Then I follow my diet again. I diet everyday. My co workers and friends are on diets, too. So much dieting.
Post # 14
@runsyellowlites: You are such a sweetheart. How have I never talked to you on here before? It looks like you have a ton of posts and so do I… crazy. Anyways, thanks for the sweet thoughts.
Post # 15
@Ahone: So much dieting? Are we talking healthy dieting versus crash dieting? I hope so. 🙂
Post # 16
I have battled with bulimia since I was 12 tears old. I am 22 now and go through my spurts. I would like to say good for you for not purging in years and good for you to resist your last temptation. I know how difficult it can be. When I went through a group help sessionit helped me realize my bulimia is stress driven rather than weight. Maybe it is the same for you. Hang in there, you have come so far, don’t let bulimia get ahold of you again.