Weddingbee boards

I think you are in good shape.  I know you're foreseeing some expenses (school, home).  And that is smart.  But I think you could still have your big wedding without postponing.  I think financially, you could let your parents off the hook too. 

Are you nervous about something else, like one of you losing a job?  that might be a different story.  but I don't see a big issue, otherwise.

It sounds to me like you're in good shape, actually.  You have pretty good savings, and also good jobs.  You already know that your parents' situation may change, and can factor that in.  It doesn't sound like you're spending money you don't have.

I would think about two things.  First, the small amount of money that you're getting from your parents - I assume this is money that they have saved?  I would want to be sure that they can really afford it, even if your dad gets laid off.  I wouldn't worry too much about your sister - she may have to carry more of the cost of her own college, but if your parents' income decreases she will also be more able to get financial aid.  And I'm sure that your parents want to contribute at least something.  Maybe just let them know that you understand their situation, and that you want to be absolutely sure they don't pay for more than they are comfortable with.

Then I'd think about your own savings.  If one of you lost your job, could you still live comfortably until you found another?  Do you have plans to buy a house in the near future?  It sounds like you could have a nice wedding and still do one or the other, if not both, but it will make you feel better to take a good, hard look at it.

Then, of course, you can think about maybe economizing in other ways.  Maybe you can cut the guest list a little; maybe you can serve less alcohol; maybe you select a less expensive entree.  There are any number of ways to cut your budget by a few thousand dollars that don't involve canceling the whole thing and going a completely different direction.

And really, don't feel guilty!  You're fortunate to be in a position where you can still afford a nice wedding, but the reason you're there is that both you and your FI have worked hard and been smart with money.  That's something to be proud of!  And now you get to spend your savings the way you see fit. 

It's also a good point (as already said) that destination weddings are only cheaper for the bride and groom.  Everybody else has added expenses (airfare, hotel, time off work).  It's probably more thoughtful of your family and guests to go ahead with something local, and try to keep their expenses to a minimum.

We paid $15K out of pocket ($20 including honeymoon) for our wedding and had significantly less money saved than you do (although at the time we already owned our house... by owned I mean paid rent to the bank... as I like to call it).  Anyway, his parents paid for the Rehearsal dinner and my parents paid about $15K, so Mr. Peng and I paid for at least half of our own wedding expenses.  I don't regret it in the slightest.  While the economy is tight, if you feel like you can afford it and you are set on your "dream wedding" then it seems like you are in a good financial place to make it happen.  When it comes down to it, there is so little that is actually NECESSARY to have a wedding.  You need a location, food, and a dress. That's it.  We spent very little money on a lot of fluff, and felt like we had a really nice and meaningful wedding.  And I know that if we didn't do it, I'd look back today and really regret not having done it and done it in a nice way.  So if you can afford it and if you know that there is a good possibility you'll look back in regret if you dont... then you can find a way to make it happen. I say go for it... keep it simple and meaningful, and you'll look back with no regrets!