Post # 1
I was wondering if your original intentions with marriage (i.e., when to buy a house, number of kids you’ll have, etc) have changed as a result of this awful economy.
I wanted 3 kids, but now I’m thinking less. My student loans are too high for me to afford a mortgage right now, so I don’t even think I’ll be able to have kids or buy a house until much farther in my 30s. Just wondering…
Post # 3
I always wanted 3 kids but now I think two are more of an economically feasible option. We definitely won’t be buying a house til probably the year after we are married (I also want to get pregnant that year.) Although I’d like to be out the condo we rent (4 flights of steps) prior to having a baby, for many reasons but also to be close to my mom. So I have mixed feelings like do I really want to decorate a baby room twice (once here and then at a house) and lug all that shit up and down the stairs? No!! Haha. Plus we already are running low on closet space and its only the two of us.
We delayed getting engaged and married partly bc of financial situations but also bc I had lost my job and didn’t want to be engaged for 3 1/2 years…too long for me. Now, we are waiting 2 1/2 years to get married since we couldn’t afford a short engagement and wanted to get married next August. But since my bro is getting married next September, I decided it would be better to wait til after theirs by almost a year. It gives us longer to save.
As for student loans I pay $740 a month which will go down to around $560 when I’m 32, but it still won’t leave me loan free. I am making my kids go to community college bc of my debt since I know that even if we saved (more like had money to save) we would only really be able to save for about year of college. When we do decide to buy a house I want a mortgage that one of us could pay alone God forbid one of us is unemployed….which at this point seems nearly impossible bc we live in NJ and I make a pretty low salary bc I work at a non-profit.
Post # 4
I didn’t answer because none apply. No we didn’t really have to delay our plans, and we don’t have to live hand to mouth to do it. We are fortunate enough to both have had stable jobs throughout the poor economy and don’t expect that to change. Seattle also has a lot to offer as far as job market.
The economy crash actually allowed us to buy our home because the prices were so low, the way the prices used to be this would have been our “second” home, where we probably would raise our kids all the way through high school, but now it’s a great first house where we are quickly gaining equity and will be able to sell at profit.
Post # 5
@MsJ2theZ: +1, we were able to get our home much earlier than anticipated due to the housing market crash.
Post # 6
We delayed everything – still are. But We are determined to change our situation so it doesn’t stop us and only delays us.
Post # 7
Canada hasn’t been affected like the US so we’re still planning as if there’s nothing significantly different.
Post # 8
None of the options really applied to me because thankfully we haven’t really been affected by the bad economy.
Post # 9
The job market for DH’s field (law) is basically crap right now. He’s struggling to get into jobs that, in a good economy, he’d be a star candidate for, but in this bad economy he’s competing with much more overqualified law school grads that can’t get what was once their guarenteed massive paycheck at a private firm. So he’s had to take temporary clerkships in the meantime. They’ll eventually lead to better, more permanent jobs once he has some experience under his belt, but for the time being, we have to be frugal and mobile, so no house buying and no kids (and no steady job for me, since we have to move so much) until this is all settled.
We’re in our late 20s and agreed that, if things don’t look up by the time we’re firmly in our 30s, we’ll go ahead with the kids thing anyway, to make sure we don’t loose our chance completely. But I’m really, REALLY hoping we don’t reach that point.
Post # 10
It’s hard to say. We’re not delaying our marriage, nor do we plan to delay kids (we want to wait a bit anyways). Our current financial situation is pushing back buying a condo I supposed. We would rather own than rent, but it’s not a big deal.
Post # 11
Our wedding was very small because it was all we could afford.
We will also never own a home because the recession nearly killed us.
Post # 12
We eloped because we couldn’t afford a traditional wedding. Getting into debt over a party was not something that seemed financially responsible for us and as we had been together a number of years before we married, we did not want to put it off.
Post # 13
For the wedding, we went with what we intially plan and could afford. Our parents also helped, although we could have afforded it without their help, but we probably would have choosen to reduce some costs.
We did delay buying a house, but it wasn’t related to the economy, it was related to other issues. It’s hard to say how the economy affect our house purchase, as it hasn’t really changed since we started looking. If interest was higher, prices would have been lower, so we might have actually been further ahead due to our downpayment.
Post # 14
The economy/recession has affected us in every aspect of our life. We went with a small wedding due to the fact that my DH had lost his job. We live in the apt I owned before we met, which is too small for us. We don’t have kids, but we are older (me 37 and him 51). The fact that he is out of work and we are almost out of time for having kids is a big stress on the marriage. It feels wrong to force it, though the idea of not having kids is hard too. So I am just going with the flow for now and just trying to make our relationship the best it can be and whatever happens, happens.
The one good thing that happened was I also lost my job in a massive company layoff, and then ended up getting two progressively better jobs.
Post # 15
@destinwed: you don’t have an option for nothing changed.
i bought my house last year, got married this year. DH wants 2 kids and i would love to have 4 even though i know that is not going to happen. we are going to have 2 and we will see what happens with the 3rd. but the economy doesn’t play a role in that, for me at least.
Post # 16
Fortunately, we have done fairly well for ourselves given the economy. DH now has a more stable job (though it took him 4 years after graduating college to get it), but our income is quite good for our area. We have budgeted well, our savings is growing and we are planning on buying a house soon. We both have student loans, but by prioritizing them, we are paying them down pretty quickly.
DH came from a very low income family (single mom, 3 kids, $15k a year income) and I came from a lower middle class family (two parents, 3 kids, $50k a year income). So far, we have both managed to graduate from college (DH has his master’s too) and get jobs with incomes that are much higher than our families.
We have had to budget and sacrifice though. We don’t take very many vacations, we cut back on eating out, don’t spend a lot of money on entertainment and we prioritize our bills/debts.