Edit/comment on my e-mail to my mom about bridesmaid dresses?

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
42460 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

sunflower22:  I think your response is way overboard and just gives her room to continue to argue every point.

“Mom, I appreciate that we are coming from different places on this issue. I respect your opinion and I am glad that we have the kind of relationship where you feel you can share a contrary opinion.

The decision has, however, been made. The girls wil be wearing a black dress of their choice.

I am sure that you will agree that, in the grand scheme of things, the important thing is that ___ and I have found our life partner and will be sharing our vows.”

Post # 4
Member
951 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

  sunflower22:  I like the response.  Also, for images, just google “mismatched black bridesmaid dresses” and pull up just images.  There are TONS.  And in fact, the second one I spotted had the words “Stylish” on the image.  And it was, too.  Very stylish.  🙂  My girls aren’t in matching dresses – but they’re purple, not black.

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by  MrsEvergreen.
Post # 5
Member
42460 posts
Honey Beekeeper
Post # 6
Member
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

sunflower22:  Why do you feel the need to write such a lengthy email to your mom and defend your opinion?  It’s your wedding, period.  I like the response that julies1949 said.

Post # 7
Member
9529 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I would approach this completely differently. This is your decision. You do not need to justify this to your mother. By engaging the conversation you just encourage more argument from her. I’d just nip it in the bud. I woudld reply with a simple:

“Thanks for your suggestion, but I’m very sure of my decision to have my girls pick their own black dress and I think they’ll look great. Love you and talk to you soon!”

For the record, I think your girls will look great and appreciate your flexibility. I let my girls pick their own dresses, just asked that they be yellow and knee length(ish) and non-shiny fabric and I thought they looked great together!

Post # 8
Member
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

sunflower22:  Just wanted to chime & say your an awesome bride for being so considerate of your ladies!! =) They’ll look gorgeous & classy in a LBD of their choosing!

Post # 9
Member
759 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

sunflower22:  I have to agree with 

julies1949:  don’t get me wrong, your response was well-worded and respectful, but it just seems unnecessarily long to me. I actually had to argue the same point with my mom (we are also having mismatched black dresses). She was always able to come up with a response to each explanation I provided so in the end I just had to tell her, listen, I know you have misgivings about this but it’s happening. The decision has been made. No need to bring other peoples weddings or what the choir will be wearing into it. You’re confident in your decision and that’s all that matters. 

Post # 10
Member
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

No email. The next phone or in person convo where this comes up advise your the decision is not hers. Done.

Post # 11
Member
1441 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Why are you even arguing about this with your mother?  It’s your wedding.  Unless she’s a bridesmaid and wanted her dress dictated by you, it’s none of her concern.

 

Post # 12
Member
1244 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

sunflower22:  Why do you feel the need to send such a long drawn-out explanation about this? Doing that just gives her the opportunity to counter the points you make. It’s your wedding, you want them to wear their own black dresses. It’s neither unreasonable nor up to your mom to agree with. Just tell her you’ve made the decision, don’t leave it up for discussion.

Post # 13
Member
11712 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I don’t think you need to send an email to your mother.  Have an adult conversation with her, and treat her with respect, not hiding behind an email and quoting the Bible.  All you have to do is say, “Thanks Mom, I appreciate your opinion.  I considered it, but we decided that we’re still going to go with a plain black dress.”  End of story.

Post # 14
Member
42460 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

capitalbee:  That’s why I suggested she not argue the point. I do find that disagreements are much more easily resolved if you recognize the other person’s point of view, acknowledge that your relationship with that person is important, and then state your decsion.

Post # 15
Member
4639 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I don’t know why this email has to be sent.. You’re presumably an adult and don’t need to offend your opinions to anyone. Even your mother.

 

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