Post # 1
Hi Bees! How much do you think ones educational background factors in a relationship? Do you feel it’s very important or rather inconsequential so long as both people in the relationship feel they are on the same level intellectually even if they may differ as far as their level of education? Do you and your FI have differing backgrounds not only insofar as education but the way you grew up?
Post # 3
I don’t education matter that much. However I do think being on the same page in regards to hard work and motivation and also what you view to be a comfort point is important. I have a college degree and DH does not and I don’t see our education difference to be a problem because we both have the same goals in life and are willing to work hard to achieve them. I know for me I could marry a guy with a graduate degree and if he was lazy there would be a huge problem in our relationship, much worse than having an education gap.
Post # 3
DH and I have differing levels of education at the moment. He has his Bachelors and I have my Masters. However, his job may require him to get his Masters at some point. I don’t feel like it’s had any impact on our relationship. I prefer to read and do crossword puzzles while he prefers to play hockey or video games but I think that is more about our personalities than our education levels. It’s ironic because I have more education than him (and mroe debt), yet he’s the one with a job….and even before I was laid off he made more than I will. Probably always will.
Post # 4
Ours is a funny situation.
I have a double B.A.
FI has a high school diploma.
FI makes about 3 times more an hour than I do. How? He got his engineering training through the Air Force. So although he does not hold a degree, he is a class 2 engineer.
Post # 5
I don’t think education level matters as much as ambition and drive. We will both have law degrees, so we’re on the same level, but it’s more important to me that he has goals and is actively trying to reach them. If someone only needs a bachelor’s degree to do what they want to do, then I wouldn’t fault them for not having some kind of advanced degree just because I do.
Post # 6
@roxy821: I couldn’t agree with you more!
I think that b/c both my hubby and me are motivated people, that we keep each other intellectually simulated. We have a lot in common and never tire of talking to each other. He has his masters while I stopped at my bachelors. We’re both good at different things. I don’t even pretend to know what in the world he’s talking about when it comes to his masters in biology, and he doesn’t pretend to know what I’m talking about when it comes to benefits and human resources. But…we’re both able to explain what we do in laymen’s terms for each other.
Post # 7
My fiance and I have extremely different educational backgrounds and I think this stems from us growing up in different economic classes.
My great-grandfather went to University in the early 1900s and every generation (on my father’s side) since then has gone. My family has a lot of professionals like Laywers, Doctors, Biologists, Pilots, Engineers, etc. This background put a lot of pressure on my as a teen and I graduated with top honors. I have since gone on to University and my degree is almost complete 🙂
My fiance is one of few people to have graduated high school in his family. Of his three brothers he is the only one who graduated high school. Manual labour and trades are more common in his family. My fiance is a firefighter now.
When it comes to book smarts I definitely beat out my man, but he is much better at practical things than I am. We are a good balance and I think our differences just bring us closer. It is challenging sometimes when I want to speak about more complex theories and items in the news, but for the most part my man is really open to learning new things so this doesn’t harm our relationship too much. We also have other things in common like our taste in music, our love of the outdoors, etc. We’re a good mix 🙂
Post # 8
I agree that work ethic is far more important than whether one went to college or now. Personally speaking, I have my MA but had a hell of a time finding a job after I got laid off a year ago due to budget cuts. And I currently am making about $15K a year less than I should given my educational background. As an example, a friend of mine, however, has a high school degree and makes significantly more than I do. He also has a more driven work ethic than I do.
Post # 9
mrs.peters.to.be: I can relate to your background. I grew up being told that college was a MUST and discussing any alternatives after high school was not even to be considered. My parents have a somewhat skewed perspective on the value of a college degree these days. There are plenty of articles on the Net that detail how college degrees are often over-rated and do not in any way guarantee a well-paying job. I completed college and graduate school only to find that doors did not necessarily swing open for me once I entered the job market!
Post # 10
I have 2 BA’s and DH is getting towards the end of his. He’s taking a break to join the Navy, but has plans to finish his degree in the next few years. He’s also planning on using his GI Bill money towards a Masters.
But, I agree with the PP’s. I think it’s way more important to be able to talk and communicate on the same level than whether or not you have the same degrees. In a lot of ways DH is much more intellectual. He can debate and argue WAY better than me, and he follows current events and stays up on what’s happening in the world because he drives truck and listens to the news.
Post # 11
@SoontobeMrsA: How awesome. SO teaches at a charter school where you have to have been accepted to a college to graduate.
Honestly though? Not everyone NEEDS to go to college. Some people would be better off learning a trade. My cousin went to trade school to learn underwater welding. BANK.
Post # 12
I think education factors in in some ways… you can read statistics about it. But it honestly doesn’t matter in my opinion. If you love that person, any educational differences, you can “make it work”. For example, I am getting my Masters in May. My FI is still working on his Bachelors, and who knows when he will graduate with it. I think it bothers him at times that I will be making more money than him (most likely). But at the same time, we make a joke out of it and he’s ok with it too. I’m not sure if that even makes sense… but we’re fine 🙂
Post # 13
I personally would have a hard time dating someone who didn’t do something after high school. I think it shows that you persevered through something that was hard. Education is important to me, but that’s just me. That said, I have a doctorate, FI has a bachelor’s. He’s book smart, I’m more of the practical kinda smart. It works for us and I think finding that balance is more important than what letters go after your name.
Besides he still makes more than me. Jerk.
Post # 14
I think that educational levels can be a factor in a relationship because the experience is a part of a person. However, I do not feel it is the most important factor because educational levels are not what makes a person.
My FI and I both have our BAs. And while we both would also be earning our JDs right now, I decided to leave the legal field to become a teacher 🙂 Have our educational similarities brought us together? I would like to think not, but you never know.
We’ve both had this discussion before, and while I feel education levels and compatibility are a little less tied together than he does, we both feel that the most important factor is something more innate. I think love can happen anywhere and with any two people, no matter their background.
Edit: To answer OP’s last question–Interestingly enough, FI grew up very poor and I grew up middle-class. I respect him so much for all he has accomplished. I feel our differences in upbringing bring so much depth to our relationship.
Post # 15
We both have bachelor degrees. He plans to get his Masters of Business in a few years (kind of thing you need experience for) and I plan to get my masters in education or get a new bachelors in English- still deciding where I want to go with my career!
It depends how important education is to you, I suppose- and if they are successful, regardless of education. If Kingy was a successful carpenter (I have no idea if carpenters go to school, it was just an idea) with a hs diploma, I would think that was very commendable and would be just as satisfied with his success as his current success. I don’t think I would marry someone without at least a high school diploma though, as I wouldn’t want that to be the example set for my kids. I don’t mean that to offend anyone, its just how I feel