Post # 1
Mr CL and I have a pretty restricted guest list and relatively big families, so we made the decision that we would have no work colleagues on our guest list, at all. Yesterday he came home with an invitation to his colleague’s evening wedding reception. Argh!
The thing is, I’d love to be able to invite all of the people we work with but we just don’t have the space and they seemed to be an easy group to cut out altogether. Should we just invite his colleague and her husband or not invite anyone? I’m not even sure if we have the space for the 2 extra guests, so should we wait and see if we get any declining RSVPs and then invite them if we have the space?
For the record, we’re definitely going to their reception as Mr CL’s really keen to and it’s very close to our home. I’ve offered to make her a crocheted choker to wear (as she was looking at some on Etsy but couldn’t afford them) so it would definitely be nice to at least see that ‘in the flesh’!
Post # 3
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
Just because someone invites you to their wedding, you are not required to reciprocate. You could always have a no-gifts BBQ/other event with coworkers later. And things change- a year from now, one or both of you could be at other jobs, so I wouldn’t worry too much about this. 🙂
Post # 4
I would invite them, but ask them to keep it on the DL so as to not offend anyone not invited.
Post # 5
Thanks ladies. I hadn’t even thought about the fact they might not be working together any more! Mr CL is probably going to be moving jobs in September, so I guess if they stay in contact they’re legitimately friends rather than coworkers I think we’ll just keep an eye on the situation for the time being. There’s still ages to go yet!
Post # 6
My FI and I also made an across the board, no co-workers decision. Especially for me, I share my time between multiple teams, only some of who I’m close to…it was way too hard to draw the line as to who to invite.
I read on another post here, if you stopped working with them, would you keep in touch? My answer was no, so that helped me be ok with it.
I did have to have a couple awkward convos at work though when it’s come up – another co worker is getting married just before me and has invited a couple people – but she also has a guest list of 500 whereas I have 150. It still costs money to have them. And then what about their spouses? Do you go plus one? And what about bosses? Or leaving someone out?
Ugh, forget about it, too complicated, no coworkers for me. I’ve told them when it came up that we are having a small family wedding and left it at that.
Post # 7
My FI are both on our way to becoming CL’s. We’re in law school. THAT is hard. It is a small school (about 100 people to a class) and everyone knows each other. No matter who we invite (and we absolutely want to invite some people) there are so many who are on the edge of “friends” and, where DO you draw the line? It is so hard. A friend of mine (also in law school, got married last summer) said, “Just stop caring about it. Some people are going to be angry, but you just can’t care. It’s your wedding. They’ll get over it.” and I’m trying to maintain that attitude.
I think you made the right decision not to invite any colleagues. You could always just mention to your husband’s co-worker that you would have loved to have them there if you could, but it is a small wedding and the guest list is tight.
Post # 8
this was a tough one for me because I work in a pretty social office – lots of happy hours, parties, and I’ve made good friends there over the years, some who are still there, some who have moved on but stayed close.
Ultimately I decided to cut it off at people I actually hang out with one-on-one or as couples – I didn’t invite people that I only get together with at large group outings, because if I did I’d be looking at another 20+ people. I realized that this rule would apply for friends from other areas of my life. Basically, if I would call someone up to go out to dinner/brunch, or to ask a favor, they make the list. I would love to have some of the others there because they’re fun, but we’re just not having that big of a wedding.