Post # 1
at the sake of taking a lot of heat on this one…
i just wanted to ask, how many of you bees feel 100% comfortable writing your opinion on the ‘bee?
i usually write what i feel and don’t think twice what the reaction will be from the hive… on posts that i have differing or negative, “judgemental” or borderline snarky opinions, i just dont comment – as i don’t think it’s beneficial to anyone.
BUT, i know recently there’s been a few fires that have been blown up over a lot of comments that were WAY overread and misjudged as “intentionally snarky…”
i appreciate the hive as a supportive forum, but i also don’t want it to be a “fake” community of BUBBLES CLOUDS RAINBOWS AND BUTTERFLIES, cuz we are afraid of getting yelled at for saying something (not meant to be mean!) 😛
just wanted to get the hives’ thoughts out in the open so that all of us can get it off our chest and move on to a truly honest, supportive hive!!
Post # 3
I feel like at times, I have appropriate comments that I am too concerned to post because I know people will give me crap for saying it. It’s my biggest complaint about WB. I absolutely, positively believe that (at times) we sacrifice honesty for feigned support. But yet, maybe that’s what some bees want?
Post # 4
my comments are pretty honest. If my only reaction to a post is “bitchy” then I refrain from commenting because as you said its not beneficial to anyone..I too would like an honest hive…
Post # 5
Um… I definitely think before I type. I am naturally SUPER sarcastic and that doesn’t always come across right in type. So I do usually re-read and try to avoid any issues. 🙂
Post # 6
I’m with Corgi on re-typing before I “submit” because I can be painfully sarcastic & blunt at times & sickeningly bubbly and immature at others.
Here’s the problem with honesty: It always gets someone’s undies in a knot. You can’t please everyone all the time BUT I do think it’s important not just IRL but in an online community as well to phrase things in such a way as to try to avoid confrontation, even if it means watering-down your “opinion” or not posting at all.
Post # 7
I am also not always a super chipper happy camper type and am quite sarcastic, but I think when it comes to people’s wedding everyone is emotional about it and takes it personally. I just don’t comment on things I disagree with unless I feel it’s really important to say.
Post # 8
I def. go by the “if you don’t have anything nice to say….” frame of mind. If it’s based on facts I’ll comment regardless, or if it’s asking for an honest opinon I post, but if my comment is going to start something.. I refrain from posting and move on to the next thread.
Post # 9
I am a very positive and upbeat person, but sometimes I repeat things to myself before I post them so I don’t come off as mean.
Because sometimes really, girls are being spoiled little brats and I think they should know! But I keep those opinions to myself for the most part.
Also, something that bugs me is when someone asks for honest opinions about the way they look. I would really want someone to be honest with me, but it seems like most girls are a little afraid to be honest.
But really, I’m nice.
Post # 10
- Wedding: May 2011 - Bartram's Garden
I usually refrain from commenting if what I have to say isn’t at least constructive. I tend to be very blunt, though, so sometimes I think that maybe I come off as kind of bitchy when I’m really being blunt for the sake of brevity, not bitchery.
Post # 11
I know what you mean. I do think about what I say and try to be nice and diplomatic with my responses. I really like how the hive is and I hope that we can disagree about things as long as we don’t say things that are outright mean or snarky to each other.
Post # 12
I think this is a funny one because it kind of goes both ways and I don’t think there’s a way to resolve it.
I see threads sometimes where I think people are being really catty and mean and I want to say “whoa, what makes you think that’s okay?” but it’s pretty intimidating to say something on a thread where everyone is agreeing so sometimes I do and sometimes I don’t and I do feel constrained to ignore some of those threads.
However when I do comment (i.e. don’t walk on eggshells) the people in the thread could accuse me of making them walk on eggshells.
It makes no sense to say “I don’t want to walk on eggshells, so you should walk on eggshells instead in order to make me comfortable”.
Eh, unavoidable result of differences in opinion.
Post # 13
I agree with Ella1978 – I usually don’t post on things I can’t offer advice on or a supportive comment. It just seems pointless and counterproductive to say something that could be misconstrued as mean or snarky.
Of course I think if anyone is posting their business on a message-board they may need to remind themselves that they may not always get the kind of feedback they’re hoping for.
Post # 14
So @Arachna, I mean no harm in saying this at all but, you’re a bee who stands out in my mind because I typically see you say things contrary to the popular consensus. A lot of times, you do get crap for it. Sometimes I agree with you, sometimes I don’t. But I most definitely think of you when I think of an honest, out spoken, not afraid to post how she really feels, bee.
Post # 15
If I feel strongly about something but saw that the majority of posters disagreed w/my thoughts I’d still post it.
There are times, however, where I bite my tongue (or in this case – sit on my hands) and don’t respond at all to certain threads.
Post # 16
VirginiaMarie, thanks! No offense taken over that at all, you’re right that I post contrary opinions more often than other bees (though I do frequently hesitate and don’t as well!) and while I’ve gotten some crap for it I usually haven’t gotten that much – one of the things I like about weddingbee, if I’m in the right I can usually count on at least some others agreeing with me (of course I’m not always in the right).
But you’ll never see me tell anyone that their dress is ugly either bluntly or nicely. 🙂