Elope now, party later?

posted 3 years ago in Elopement
Post # 2
Member
79 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

 

emilyluwest:  Me again!  I don’t mean to be redundant but I wanted to let you know you are not alone!  Since stumbling upon this same idea myself I have felt so much relief and happiness!  We are planning on doing a small 25 tops person ceremony in a park.  We are also going to hire a photographer to capture everything for us and then we plan on going to a very nice local resutaurant to celebrate with our family.  At a later date we will have a much more laid back reception where people can come and celebrate our marriage with us. 

Reasons we are doing it this way<br />- we both love the idea of having less eyes on us and really having an intimate ceremony that just our families will share with us. 

– financially it is wayyy more practical as well as more desirable.  SO and I already live together and have for 3+ years… we don’t have thousands aside for a wedding and neither of our parents are in any position to contribute financially. 

– We can spend good money on an amazing honeymoon!!

For us it just feels right and whats best…  in the end thats all that matters anyways right 🙂  Good luck!  (PS – since I last posted about this I found out he bought my ring!!  Just a matter of time now…)

Post # 4
Member
6073 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

emilyluwest:  I know a few people who did this.  One couple I know had their party 2 years later on their anniversary at the new house they just built.  I had a party a month later but it was VERY casual – like my grauation, we got a new deck, and we got married all into one.  In fact so casual that no family were even invited, just local friends.

I think as long as you advertise it as a celebration party, there is nothing wrong with this idea at all!  Kind of takes the wedding expectation pressure off your shoulders too (people expect a certain caliber if you say “wedding”).

Post # 5
Member
137 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

We are planning on doing this. Eloping to the local registry place with two friends and witnesses. Then we will arrange a party with family later on to celebrate. It just cuts down on all the unnecessary stress!

Post # 6
Member
1108 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

We’re eloping and we are NOT having any kind of party after the fact.  Honestly, I do not like the idea of having a party for a wedding that I didn’t ask people to partake in.   

Post # 7
Member
1737 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014 - 13th ~ TN

emilyluwest:  Very much something similar to what we are doing! We are encore and see no need to invite people to a DW for a 2nd time. However, we do want a little ceremony. We will have a big party later in the year.

I had a friend in HS whose parents did the same thing with her and her sister. Her sister choose to have the big wedding but my friend took the money and was actually able to buy a small mobile home with it. They lived in it for about 4 years, then they built a large home. She now lives in it as she is divorced. They also gave her land next to theirs to put it on.

Post # 8
Member
1737 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014 - 13th ~ TN

Ellicott:  I can see that point too, however I do not ask family and friends to celebrate too much with me. As a matter of fact I am overlooked in a lot of things. Like I didnt get a 30th birthday party because my mom was paying for my brothers second wedding, that everyone attended (even after attending the first). My home burned completely to the ground almost 6 years ago and very few of my family memebers offered much assistance. I dont expect a lot or ask for a lot, so I guess that is why I am overlooked, but I do help others and I feel that I deserve something special for once. And it has been over 15 years since the first time I got married.

Post # 9
Member
2397 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

emilyluwest:  That’s what we did! DW in Mexico with just 4 guests- our legally required witnesses- then the next week a fiesta/BBQ in our parents home state at a state park pavilion. It was a zillion times more manageable for us financially and really took away alot of the stress and such we were feeling before we made the decision and were planning a traditional wedding. We ended up paying less than half of what we would have paid here for a traditional wedding (not to mention the travel expense for our family as they all live across the country from us). 

I wouldn’t say we had any less drama from the family as certain important people did not agree with our decisions no matter what we did. But probably still less stressful than that plus dealing with another 50+ family members all vying for attention/direction in a strange place… 

It was super laid-back, most of the family brought a dish, my grandma, grandpa, & brother did all the decorating, grandma baked cupcakes, and everyone just hung around and caught up. My only real recomendation is to find a photographer who can have some pics ready for you at the celebration back home. Even though we only had a week in between the ceremony & fiesta he agreed to get us at least 20 pics before the fiesta for our families. God bless that man, I woke up the morning after the ceremony to find over 50 pics in my inbox! 

Here’s a pic of the ceremony: 

 

And our state park pavilion fiesta:

Post # 10
Member
284 posts
Helper bee

This sounds like an amazing idea and in retrospect, would have fit FI and I much better. If you want to go for it, go for it. This is 2014, and it’s YOUR special day, if that’s how you want to do it then do it that way 🙂

Post # 11
Member
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I don’t understand how it’s cheaper if you’re planning to throw a party after the fact anyways.  I think it’s fine to celebrate how you want, and definitely understand why people elope, but if you have anxiety about getting too much attention or throwing a big party that won’t go away.

Post # 12
Member
2397 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

louisianablue:  generally the reason it’s cheaper is because most people do a more laid-back type of get-together afterwards, not the full-on reception that comes along with a wedding ceremony. Not necessarily a need for an inviation as it can be spread by word of mouth, not as many ppl will show up theoretically because your already married also no need to invite everyone & their mama since your already married, no need for a DJ/coordinator/etc…. We paid less for the after ceremony party than we would have for just the venue for the reception back home (not including the price per person for food/drinks, decor). What it boils down to is that you know you will already be married by the after-ceremony party so your not as worried about making it perfect because it’s not a reception, its just a party! 

 

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