elope or big fat family wedding? there is no in-between.

posted 3 years ago in Elopement
Post # 3
3344 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2000

@rex-tographer:  I can’t tell you wat you’d regret, and it’s likely that whatever path you choose, you’d have some regret for the other.

But I would go to Ireland.Only I’d substitute”Scotland” for “Ireland.” haha.

Post # 4
3845 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@rex-tographer:   I vote go to Ireland.  The memories the two of you will make will be priceless, you won’t have planning stress, and you can do the shin dig thing at your leisure – all fun and family.  


Post # 5
4513 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I opted for a small wedding because, like you, I’m a perfectionist and wanted to go all out. We couldn’t have done that with a big wedding, so by going small we could focus on details and get everything we wanted.

In your case I’d elope. Less stress and less expensive. I LOVED my wedding, but really they are kind of a waste of money if you think about it. I’d rather use that money toward a home or mega honeymoon.

My mom and stepfather eloped in Scotland. They absolutely loved it. They randomly ran into some little pub to find their witnesses. It was just so unplanned and so romantic. Just make sure you look up the requirements to get married in Ireland. I know a lot of European countries require crazy paperwork and some even have temporary residence requirements (like you have to live there for 3 weeks first, etc). For Scotland none of this was an issue though so you might not have too many hoops to deal with.

Post # 6
222 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014 - Kiawah Island

Definitely elope!  We went to Jackson Hole, WY, about a month ago and I wanted to elope the whole time we were there.  My fiance is deadset on having his mom there, so we are doing an intimate wedding as a compromise.

Post # 7
1312 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - NH

I would go for Ireland too!  I’m having a very small wedding a few hours away in the mountains at a B&B so that seating is restricted.  It will be 40 people.  I do believe people can have big, beautiful weddings on tight budgets, but they usually involve outdoor parks that can have scary weather situations and I don’t want to take that risk.  Do what makes you happy!  Living with him and starting your lives together is much more exciting than not living with him just so you can plan a wedding for years.  Get married and have a fun party at the new place 😀

Post # 8
1175 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@rex-tographer:  I say sit on it for a few weeks.  Talk more with your fiance’, and discuss both options.  The more conversations you have, the more you will know what it is you both truly want.


Me…..,being a hopless romantic.  I say Ireland all the way!!

Post # 9
234 posts
Helper bee

@rex-tographer:  This is funny because this is almost my exact situation. My family is huge, and I don’t get along well with all of them. His family is super small.

He is actually FROM Scotland, so I’m thinking we should just elope/ have a small wedding over there!

Post # 10
26 posts
  • Wedding: July 2014

I vote for Scotland! LOL

after much angst, we opted fir a small, immediate-family only (24 guests) and an amazing foreign honeymoon.  Good decision.

Post # 11
7225 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

From a practical standpoint I think it’s clear you should elope. I think no matter what choice you pick there will be some “grass is greener” moments. Think it over some more.

Post # 12
1931 posts
Buzzing bee

We had the EXACT same problem- our family weddings are massive and we both have expensive taste. We would not be happy with a rustic DIY wedding (lovely as they are) so we are eloping to Europe and then throwing a casual celebration for everyone when we get back. 

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