Elope or Wedding?

posted 3 years ago in Elopement
  • poll: Elope or Wedding
    Elope : (31 votes)
    53 %
    Wedding : (12 votes)
    21 %
    Elope now, Reception later : (15 votes)
    26 %
  • Post # 3
    143 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I’m voting elope, just because my wedding is 25 days away and I am completely stressed out and crazy, and I really regret not eloping.  I imagine in 26 days, I will strongly feel otherwise.

    FWIW, one of my best friends eloped, and people were pretty devastated.  A lot of us really wanted to walk in her wedding, or just be there, ya know?  She recently told me she really regrets it, since it honestly is the only time in your life when you can have all your friends and family in the same place.  I wish there were other opportunities to get people to travel cross country to be together, but there just aren’t. 

    But when your wedding is 25 days away, it’s VERY hard to put this in perspective. So I vote elope!

    Post # 5
    2132 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    We’re sort of compromising by having just immediate family (parents, grandparents, siblings) and close friends (a dozen or so), could you do something similar? It would keep costs down but still be witnessed by those closest to you. 

    Post # 8
    603 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    @akkaer1:  I second that the elope now with a reception later. You can always do a renewal later when funds are better and you can have all your family there that’s what my sister did. I had a small wedding with immediate family and a two super close friends and that was it.

    Post # 9
    170 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I would suggest a different honeymoon. I went to an amusement park for a honeymoon-esque weekend and I don’t even have children, my husband and I are just young and thought it would be a fun cheap alternative to actually going somewhere. & it ended up not being worth it, with all the driving and bussing to the amusement park and having to pay to eat out and dealing with lines and lots of people… it wasn’t a honeymoon. Just stressful, I would’ve rather stayed home and made our own relaxing honeymoon weekend.

    Post # 10
    931 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    There were a few times duirng our engagement that my husband and I looked at each other and said “eloping would have been so much easier!”  We are glad that we didn’t do it, because our wedding day was so wonderful and looking back we wouldnn’t have it any other way.

    But to each their own!

    Post # 11
    6073 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    @akkaer1:  We eloped.  It was very much a wedding – fancy in fact! 

    I wanted just our immediate families present originally (they still have never met), but my side (mom and two sisters) told me up front they could not make it (no money, no vacation time, hates flying).  So with that said, I would feel like an orphaned child if just H’s family were there, so we opt to go away on a trip and get married.  We did invite H’s parents to be our witnesses, but they are retired and have an RV so it was most doable for them. 

    I do not have any regrets because our wedding and our honeymoon were just awesome, although I’m a little disappointed in my side’s lackadaisical approach given how many life events I have seen of theirs that required me flying to them. I was married before and they did not see me that time either.

    So with that said, I do not think anyone was disappointed in not seeing a wedding.  In fact, there was probably much relief that we just went far away!


    Post # 13
    4893 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I think if you want to elope, do it. It’s not about what other people want. If they are upset, that’s too bad, but the day really isn’T about them. Have a photographer capture the moment so you can share with them later. 🙂

    I’ve never understood why people get upset when a couple elopeS. if a friend/family member eloped, I’d be just as thrilled for them as if they had a wedding. I don’t understand why people are devastated. I could understand possibly disappointed, but even then, I think everyone should remember the meaning of it all.

    Post # 14
    4474 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    I voted elope because it sounds to me like that’s what you really want to do. But whatever choice you make should be because that’s what YOU and your fiance want to do. Not because you’re going to feel guilty about other people or feel some sort of obligation to a larger wedding. 

    Post # 15
    712 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2015


    I regret eloping because it wasn’t what we really wanted, only what we could afford. The alternative was letting my mom take over my wedding and plan a huge lavish affair that neither of us wanted. She would not listen to any of our wishes for OUR wedding.

    My parents were very angry when we eloped. We are renewing our vows to make up for our awful elopement. A lot of things went wrong that day besides our sadness at our crappy wedding.

    If you are scared that you will regret eloping, it is best to think of another option. You could always elope now and have a vow renewal later.

    Post # 16
    234 posts
    Helper bee

    @MabelleBliss:  I second this.


    I have often considered elopment, as my family is just riddled with drama lately. I do know though, that my immediate family and very close friends would be upset. In many ways, I do think I would regret it myself. I just dread the planning aspect of bringing together such a dysfunctional family. That’s why I have also considered an intimate wedding of those most close and dear to me.

    Consider inviting those most close to you, and do a little shindig in a couple of months time (that way it gives everyone enough time to try save the date and make it out). Maybe make the location closer to them. It also gives you an opportunity to seek out honeymoon options in that area at the same time.

    If they want a memory of the day and probably some picture, you don’t need to go all out for the wedding. If it is a small wedding, a restuarant or a fun place that you can all go out and enjoy together will be just as wonderful and memorable for them. Honestly, they just want to see you and the groom together during this symbolic occasion. 

    I recently went to a small wedding, and I can tell you, it was wonderful! Everyone felt so happy, there was no boredom, no awkwardness. Everyone just enjoyed their time together in celebration of the couple. Many didn’t know each other because the bride and groom were from two different towns, almost 10 hours away from each other(they met at school). Small groups really allow everyone to just mingle and get to know each other.

    You can make the following days your honeymoon time. At that point, I’m sure everyone would be willing to take the kids for that period of time.

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