Post # 1
Hey girls, I am in a predicament. My fi and i planned yesterday to elope (just us) mid november to a beautiful beach. but then, I told my parents. I asked them twice, 2 weeks apart, both times were ok with it. I put down a $300 deposit yesterday. 2 hours later my mom calls with how they want to be there, my dad wants to give me away. so i planned to cancel the elopement and either have a small ceremony in the spring or keep the “elopement” but save it for the spring and invite his family, my family, 6 people….after becoming ok with a postponement either way my mom and dad “talked” about it and now i have their blessing for the elopement but now i kinda feel bad and am having second thoughts. mostly because i don’t want to hurt them.
Options Below, all input super appreciated!!!!!!
Post # 2
Obviously I do not know all the minor details of this story and I can only give my adivce as an outsider, my boyfriend and I have discussed doing this ourselves. Doing something just the two of us and then a normal ceremony with friends and family later on. I also work in a bridal store and have had many brides who do an elopement, then a small ceremony to get the best of both worlds. That is why I voted for the last option, you and your FI will be happy and so will your family. Plus who could complain about getting to marry the love of their life twice it’s like a life hack or something.
Post # 3
Ash2014c: You have to do what’s right for your and your FI. My husband and I didn’t elope but we did do a courthouse wedding and a lot of poeple in my family were disappointed they wanted an actual wedding to attend. I know that many people wanted one, but it wasn’t. I think both our moms wanted that as well, but we were much happier for the simple JOP wedding and haven’t regret it since.
Post # 4
Ash2014c: I voted to have an “elopement” and invite both your parents….your dad can give you away without an elaborate ceremony. If my FI and I eloped, we would invite my parents, my grandma and her husband, and my best friend….mainly so I don’t hurt any feelings but also because those 5 people have always been incredibly supportive of me and the relationship I have with my FI (we wouldn’t invite FI’s family because they have not been supportive). You have to do what feels right for you and your FI though!
Post # 5
FI and I are having a private ceremony in the winter and a subsequent small party in the spring with family and friends. I think that’s a good compromise in between having a ceremony for yourselves and having one for your family/friends. We’re going to re-enact our vows with our officiant in the spring too, so it’s the best of both worlds.
Post # 6
+100 I like this idea. It is what my husband and I are doing. We eloped when we married almost five years ago and we are renewing our vows in front of my family next year.
Post # 7
Ash2014c: My FI and I are eloping in 2 weeks. We were in the beginning stages of planning a large wedding, and then realized we hate that shit. Some people were disappointed they didn’t have the opportunity to see us get married, but they eventually got over it. They realized what’s best for us. Really excited to just elope and put the rest of the money towards a house & great honeymoon. You have to do what is best for you when your FI. Good luck in your decision!
Post # 8
i know its already been done but i would just have not told them- kinda what an elopement is
Post # 9
Ash2014c: I would elope as you’ve planned, as it is about you and FI and then have a ceremony for family and friends where your Dad can give you away. I kinda wish we’d done this, especially as my parents organised things for our big day behind our backs.
Post # 10
What would happen if you didn’t include them? I mean what’s the worst that could happen? What’s the best thing that could happen if you did include them? Perhaps weigh it out that way?
Post # 11
Why did you choose to elope in the first place? Is it important to you to get married right away. Luckily you have your family’s blessing to go either way so do what you want.