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Sorry they are acting that way, I know how you feel. Everytime we see my FMIL she makes a comment like "so did yall go down to the courthouse yet?" And every time we have to explain to her that we are having a wedding and no, we arent going to the courthouse lol. The main reason for this is because we are having a DW and shes not happy about it. She is just a negative person to begin with though, once we get her there she will have a ball.
If you can totally afford it, it doesn't matter what they think! As someone who recently got married, I can see where they are coming from. While I wouldn't trade getting married, I can definitely bask in the fantasy of a stress-free intimate elopement. That would be my "other" wedding if I could have had it, and I had a fabulous wedding. So, it may just be them projecting that. Also, once you are their age, you have a much better handle on just how much money that is and alllllllll the other things you can use it for. They are just being parental and practical. Can't fault them for that!
Dont get me wrong, I am very rational and I completely understand their perspective. It just makes me sad to hear it. I want them to be jazzed up and thinking lets make a great wedding, not, why are they spending X.
I am so sick of hearing about elopement.. and having it suggested to us by our parents!! Apparently no one cares to be there for such a momentous occasion in our lives. School plays, there. Graduations, there. Softball games, there. Wedding? Eh why don't y'all just get it over with all alone. I don't understand feeling that way AT ALL.
I'm sorry they don't seem supportive, but view it maybe as a great thing. You can start off your wedding planning without worrying you will have to deal with everyone telling you "how it should be" "who to invite" "what kind of flowers" etc. etc. They are supporting your decision to get married, and backing off enough to allow you to have it exactly the way you want it. A lot of brides are under so much family pressure to have a wedding someone else dreamed about. While I agree it is really nice when people share your enthusiasm, but they love you and support you in getting married.
I personally would be happy if my fam said "go elope." My fiance and I are considering it anyway, but I am really struggling with the thought of our families not approving or being hurt by it. He isn't. His feeling is...our wedding. Our decision. I know he is right but I'm not as cut and dry as he is.
FI's grandparents actually are pushing eloping it's quite hilarious. I think it's because back in the day that's what they did, drove down to MD. I think it's actually kind of sweet.. not that we're listening :)
My dad suggested it too. (I think) he was kidding..
That's really silly. But then again, do you really care what a couple of grandparents of his think? I say, who cares and move on with the planning! They'll love it when the time comes to celebrate, I'm sure.
not to bring the other side in to this, but you have to keep in mind that some people just are not wedding people... My mother for instance offered me a huge chunk of money and two tickets to scottland for us to elope and not tell anyone ever. (I think partly she is feeling old knowing that I am the youngest of 7 children and her LAST wedding to plan)
It isn't that they won't be happy for you on your big day, but it is something to take in to account how your famlies are going to feel about it. I think if you guys can afford it then there is no reason not to have your dream wedding, but do take their advice and don't go in to debt over one day of your life... Just my thoughts, feel free to dissagree
as long as you 2 enjoy your day, does it matter want anyone else thinks?
i understand that you dont want to hear negative things about your day, i know i wouldnt want to either!
you and your FI are getting married because you both want to right? so as long as your day makes you both happy, then i think thats all that should matter. Good Luck with the planning!
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So I saw some of my FI's family this weekend, and let me just note, I love them all very much, and they like me, and totally approve of us. Anyway, Father FI and Grandma FI both mentioned multiple times, that were we sure that we wouldnt just elope rather then have a wedding? The reason, according to them, why waste the money. Use it for something else.
EEK! I mean I understand that rational, but damnit, I want a wedding and we can totally afford it! Of course the FI did damage control and said they were only half serious and more or less joking, but its not even something I want to hear. I want to hear, lets get this party started, not, why have a party anyway? Ugh, know what I mean?! :(