(Closed) Eloped, cancelled wedding…drama from the mama

posted 6 years ago in Elopement
Post # 3
Member
1438 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

She will get over it. It was yalls wedding not hers. She cant really say much because yall were going to pay for the whole thing anyways. I’m glad you did what made you happy!

Post # 4
Member
485 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Of course you don’t have a say in your own wedding.  Your MIL should dictate and you should abide.  NOT.

Probably with her, you won’t have a say in how you raise your own kids, either.  So, I would try to find a way to let this MIL just roll right off your back.

Glad you had a good elopement

 

Post # 5
Member
339 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Sucks to be her guess she is gonna be mad then LOL Sorry! This is the first thing that came to mindTongue Out

Post # 6
Member
4956 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Congrats! Good for you for doing what you wanted!

Post # 7
Member
4956 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

By the way, how did you tell them? I’m looking for ideas on how to break the news to family and friends. 🙂

Post # 8
Member
51 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

These things happen: my grandfather didn’t forgive my aunt for eloping for a long time. Just try and let it go, and eventually she will to. 

And congrats! 🙂 It DOES definitely sounds like you made the right decision!

Post # 9
Member
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

First of all… CONGRATULATIONS !!

Sounds like you had a Wedding that was more in tune with what you both needed at this time.

Your MIL is probably embarassed because you TOLD everyone previously about your Wedding Plans, and sent out the Save the Dates.

Some would say you broke a Rule of Etiquette, in that you told everyone, and then you changed your mind.

I would not be one of those people… because according to the strictest Rules of Etiquette, Save the Dates, ARE NOT AN INVITE.  They are just a curtesy form of a “heads up”

You are right, it is YOUR WEDDING (especially seeing as you were the guys paying for it) so you can do it however you see fit. For you guys, and your situation that was Eloping.  Period

And so if that had been your choice, and you had actually sent out the REAL INVITES, then you would have sent out a follow-up annoucement that noted that the formal wedding was off.

That is how things go… are done.

On the otherhand, now that you are married, if you wanted to throw some sort of a Party (Open House) or a Back-Home Reception you could still … something simple like Cake & Champagne… or even more elaborate like Nibbles & Cocktails – or if you have the finances, a meal (be it something casual like a Backyard BBQ or full-on fussy like a sit-down Dinner).

OR you could have a more fancy event sometime later on down the road (when you have the money needed) to mark an Anniversary Celebration, or a Vow Renewal (1, 3, 5, 10+ Years from now… the choice again is yours)

As for your MIL… try to be nice, afterall she is your Hubby’s Mom (and will be pretty much forever)… BUT she sooo needs to get over HER ISSUES

You guys are adults, and can do as you please… her grown son doesn’t belong to her, or need to bow to her whims and wishes (bear this part in mind, because it could be an issue in future encounters with her)… He needs to sit her down and set the record straight… this was not YOUR CHOICE, it was something that the TWO OF YOU agreed on, and did together.

Good Luck,

 

Post # 10
Member
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Congratulations!  It was a very wise move on your end I think!  Financially and because you wanted it!

Post # 11
Member
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Congratulations! I think what your mil is upset about is not seeing her son get married not missing out on a wedding. I would be upset for a bit too, cut her some slack and shecwill get over it faster.

Post # 12
Member
217 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2024

@enrosebee:  Kudos for eloping! I am doing the same in Sept!

On one hand I have to agree that it is your day and your money and you may do as you wish but there are a few things that may need to be considered when considering your MIL feelings.

Was she at the elopment? Was she even invited? Or was this a real elopement with just you and your DH? Is he her only son? Her only child?

It could just be that she is jus feeling a little left out, maybe the next time she begins to complain about it your DH can suggest, in a nice way, she plan a party for the 2 of you to celebrate.

Maybe she just needs time to take it all in. Do you and her typically have a good relationship? It could jst be the shok of it all.

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