Post # 1
My FI and I planned on having a small destination wedding in Panama, but due to family we’ve decided to have it in Pittsburgh to accommodate his 90 year old grandmother. I think we’re both disappointed, but think its best. We’re also frustrated with our families. His parents weren’t upfront about his grandmother not being able to travel, so now we’re 3 months behind in planning and a lot of places are booked for next August. We don’t want to push the date back because we’re both students and want to have the time off to take our honeymoon right after the wedding. Our intimate wedding has now double in size and we’ve suddenly been thrust into the crazy overwhelming world of wedding planning we were trying to avoid.
Anyways, we were joking around about getting married now, just going out to our favorite spot with our witnesses and officiate and getting married. The more we talked about it though, the less we were joking. We completely fell in love with the idea. We’d still have the other wedding in August, because it’s important to our families and we don’t want to rob them of it.
Has anyone else done anything like this? Did you tell your parents? We like the idea of keeping it a secret, but I know my parents would be hurt if they ever found out I’d lied to them about it, so I’m torn as to whether or not we should tell them.
Pros/cons? Good/bad idea? 🙂
Post # 3
I would never paint something with the brush of good or bad…I would however advocate and champion a person to focus on what they want for themselves, regardless of who they THINK it will hurt….
And that is really the crux of the whole wedding racket, sometimes people feel like excluding people from their commitment to one another with irreperably harm the other loved ones in their lives..and that just isn’t true, at all.
Sure, they may kick up a fuss and blow some noise at you, but at the end of the day, this is about you and your FI commiting to each other in a way that means something to you, and nothing else.
I would say, choose what you want, and forget about putting on some showy placating after wedding wedding for the family members involved, it’s unnecessary and most likely will be expensive, save yourself the trouble and stress and follow your bliss!
Post # 4
So you want to go to Panama to get the special location you dreamed of, but will follow through with the local wedding so that Grammie can be there?
What if you talked to Grammie and told her that you’d love to just a celebration party, but have always dreamed of getting married in Panama? I think my Grammie would say, “Don’t change your dreams on account of me!”
I certainly would not keep anything a secret though. Either elope where you want and have a celebration party later to include everyone, or have the wedding with everyone there, and then go honeymoon in Panama.
I happened to choose location over having family present, but it was very nice (in some ways) that my family was not into weddings to start with, so they were not miffed at all.