Eloping and registry?

posted 2 years ago in Elopement
Post # 2
Member
5460 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Personally, I would not register for gifts if you’re not having a shower (and you shouldn’t have a shower and invite anyone not invited to the wedding).

When you send out your announcements, don’t include any information about gifts.  If people really want to send you something they will, and in the absence of a registry, most people give cash gifts.

Post # 3
Member
3280 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I wouldn’t register and definitely wouldn’t send out info on the cards. People will likely give cash if they  feel like it and if they get a gift and you don’t like it just return it if you can. 

Post # 4
Member
634 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I didn’t elope but had a very small DW…. I registered because my aunts insisted and in the end I think only one person (a friend who attended) bought something off of it. So if it’s going to be a lot of effort I wouldn’t bother. Having said that, you do get a post-wedding discount at most places, so if you have things that you’d like to buy yourself, this will give you 10% off everything. Also, don’t expect any gifts. My DH and I didn’t expect much because of the small size of our wedding, but it really surprised us when a few close friends and family members didn’t even send us a card.

If I were you I would make a small registry, then only tell people if they ask. DO NOT put it in your announcement as this seems gift-grabby. If people really want to know, they’ll go to the store’s website and search for your names.

Post # 5
Member
1180 posts
Bumble bee

Personally, I wouldn’t register if I were eloping. I’m sure people would want to give you a gift of some sort. If they ask, let them know about a blender you’ve been eyeing or that cash is nice.

Post # 6
Member
6073 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

netto614:  Etiquettely speaking, wedding registry info should not be included with amny mailings (invitations or annoucements).  Same goes for fully guested weddings too.  Typically eloping couples do not register (as there are no guests), but I do not know of any etiqutte rules that state this is wrong however.

I did register and we had a private wedding with FIL/MIL as witnesses.  I only registered out of pressure from my MIL however.  She psetered me quite a bit and I did make one last minute.  She said her sister and friends wanted to get us a gift, so it might as well be something we need.  OK, makes sense, but it still felt weird.

MIL was the only one that knew about it – not even my mom or sisters.  That said aunt just got us a gift card in the end, but one of her good friends (whom I have never met) did buy us something from the registry. How nice of them – we’ve never even met them!  Also, my uncle’s girlfriend found the registry on her own and purchased something much to our surprise as well.  Then come Christmas, MIL purchased some flannel sheets I had on there as a Christmas gift.  So all in all, 4 items were purcahsed from the registry when it was all said and done.  Many people did get us gifts – but mostly in the form of gift cards. 

If you want to make one, just don’t advertise it which is the same etiquette if you had a fully guested wedding.  People will either ask you straight up (did you register?) or they will find it on their own sleuthing. 

Or if you don’t want to register at all – then when you get the quetsion “where are you registered?”  You can say something like, “We are saving up for items for our house” (aka gift cards) or “We are saving for a downpayment on a house” (aka cash).  In fact, we got this question well before I made that registry and I did NOT go back and tell them we are registered now.

 

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 5 months ago by  sienna76.
Post # 7
Member
2828 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

AllieBee12:  My DH and I didn’t expect much because of the small size of our wedding, but it really surprised us when a few close friends and family members didn’t even send us a card.<br /><br />100% this. We also had a DW with about 50 invitees and even said on the websites that gifts weren’t necessary. However, because people kept asking about where we were registered, I painstakingly put together a honeymoon registry full of little “extras” that people could buy us for our trip and only 1 person bought anything. I didn’t mind because as I mentioned, I wasn’t expecting gifts, but I definitely could’ve saved all that effort. Also, it surprised me that I even noticed this, but I couldn’t help feeling some way about the fact that almost no one got us a card. 

Post # 8
Member
2913 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

I would not register.

Post # 9
Member
2675 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI

I probably wouldn’t register. If a lot of people are asking, then maybe do a small registry (if nothing else you usually get a completion discount for yourself or some offered me a gift card just to make a registry) but just give the information to those who ask. Don’t send registry information to everyone.

Post # 10
Member
811 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I don’t think you need to register. Those who wish to give a congratulatory gift still can do so withut an explicit registry

Post # 11
Member
1627 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I wouldn’t register. If someone close to me eloped I would not send them a gift. So I would be in the camp of not asking for yourinfo.

If you decide to register ti take advanatge of completion discounts let’s say leave it off of the elope announcements. Let people ask you for the info.

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