Post # 1
We had planned a 11-11-11 wedding but due to finances it wasn’t going to happen, we even thought of just having a potluck reception till an aunt told my grandmother that if we couldn’t afford a wedding how could we afford to get married. I had two cousins telling me I should wait till I could have my dream wedding which could take years to have enough $. I want to marry my fiance why did I have to dish out $5,000 for a decent wedding? Isn’t this day for US and not our guests? Weren’t they supposed to be happy for us and not telling us how to plan OUR wedding? With all the family drama and crappy work opportunities we decided to move to TX to be with FI’s family and clear my head and try for happiness there. His dad helped us find a place to live and gave us work til we could get on our feet. My FI just landed a good job with benefits and his car detailing business is picking up too. Now that we’re on our feet we started to talk about getting married. My family can’t come down here due to $ and his family can’t come up there due to $ and disability. So we figured we would elope and celebrate with his family and then when he gets vacay we could celebrate in WI with my family. Even though I want to elope I can’t help but feel a little upset about not having a “wedding” with my sisters as flower girls and my other sister a bmaid and my dad walking me down the aisle etc.) but people say you are already married and you shouldn’t plan a fake wedding. I thought about just having a park cookout and inviting everyone but still won’t be able to have flower girls etc.) So I thought a vow renewal but was also told that’s tacky. If we a vow renewal it wouldn’t be $800 dress and champagne toasts and bmaids/gmen it would be us in our wedding attire and my two sisters as flower girls and a cookout/potluck dinner with music in the background. Probably not going to dish out extra $ for dj and catering etc.) What’s your opinion? Thank you.
Post # 3
People have all these rules about what you “should” and “shouldn’t” do, but not everyone has a cookie-cutter scenario that works for those situations. If you want to celebrate on two sides of the country, then do it. Figure out something that’ll work for your budget.
Post # 4
We eloped last September and we’re having a reaffirmation of vows and celebration with family and friends aka second wedding in August. I used to stress about it too. And those etiquette boards and websites drove me nuts. Not anymore. 🙂
It’s all about you and your FI. Do what makes sense to you and what makes you happy, because in the end that is all that’s going to matter.
Post # 5
you could certainly do a vow renewal or something later and that would be totally fine… but i have another senario for you to consider:
Who says a wedding has to be $5000? Why not have a cute little wedding of your dreams for $1000? There are many ladies on this board that don’t necessarily have an spare $5000 lying around and are doing beautiful elegant weddings for MUCH less.
Alternitively, do YOU actaully want a wedding? or is it just your family pressuring you in to something you dont want to do?
Post # 6
My parents (mom and stepdad) got married twice and my SO and I will also. My parents did a small wedding at a friend’s house and then had a wedding in a park right next to their house and then the party in their backyard. You could totally do a small wedding in a park as well, or maybe at your parents’ house and still have your bridesmaids and have your dad walk you down the ‘aisle’. Personally, I think my mom’s outdoors wedding in the park was even more beautiful than other weddings I have attended. So great to just be with people who approve and are giving their love. If people are going to be opposed to it and bring in that negativity, then they can always deny the invitation. Don’t stress with pleasing everyone, you’re the bride it’s your day. Remember, it’s about what you and your future husband want.
There’s absolutely no reason why you can’t do two weddings. I think especially with the economy, more people are eloping and doing a bigger wedding with family later when they have the money. We are also restrained financially so doing a wedding with just our parents, and when we will have more money in a few years we’ll do the big wedding. A lot of friends are disappointed to not be there for the first one, but we’ve explained to them that we just can’t financially. Your family should understand. Just remember, you’re getting married. yay!! 🙂
Post # 7
We eloped giving our families only a few days notice, so unfortunately they weren’t able to afford airfare to Vegas at the time. But because there was alot of emotions involved from everyone, we agreed to have a more “traditional” ceremony this summer. Our families are from two different states as well, but because it’s more traditional to have it where the bride grew up, we decided on to go there. It was hard to elope knowing our families weren’t there, but months later, I can still say I’m happy we did it the way we did.
Post # 8
I got married in september last year, a very small ceremony. My husband and I went to eat after and then disneyland for a few days. This september we are having the “big” regular wedding Ive spent about 5thousand also but would be a lot less if I had a friend with a big back yard. A vow renewal is what we call it occasion but people have asked why are we getting married again and I say why not?!
If its what you want and your FI wants it too then why not, People are always going to have something to say about everything